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#1
All of my best friends are asleep. And since I don't know any of you and it's my only choice right now, I guess I'll take my chances with the Pit.

So my girlfriend and I lost our virginities to eachother on Saturday and now she says she's regretting it. It's all my fault. I couldn't control myself anymore and it just kind of happened. I didn't make any preparations to make it special or anything.

We've been dating for almost two and a half years and when she told me I was devastated. I just don't know what to do.

Basically, for this to not be a pointless thread: I need advice. Lord help me since I'm asking the Pit.

Also, inb4 "Cool story, bro" and "Rape". I need some serious answers, guys.
#2
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
All of my best friends are asleep. And since I don't know any of you and it's my only choice right now, I guess I'll take my chances with the Pit.

So my girlfriend and I lost our virginities to eachother on Saturday and now she says she's regretting it. It's all my fault. I couldn't control myself anymore and it just kind of happened. I didn't make any preparations to make it special or anything.

We've been dating for almost two and a half years and when she told me I was devastated. I just don't know what to do.

Basically, for this to not be a pointless thread: I need advice. Lord help me since I'm asking the Pit.

Also, inb4 "Cool story, bro" and "Rape". I need some serious answers, guys.


If she gave consent then it is not rape. Ask her what made her feel uncomfortable about it and reassure her you care for her and her feelings.
#3
Relationship thread.
P.L.U.R.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end

We were fated to pretend
#5
this will probably get closed and you'll end up going to the relationship thread.


but anyway...
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#7
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
I know. I thought I'd try anyway. I wanted to get this out of the way and didn't wanna wait on the relationship or sex thread.
worth the wait, though. good people over there.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#8
2 and a half years and you just hit it? Wow. You must have epic patience
Check out my band Disturbed
#9
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
I know. I thought I'd try anyway. I wanted to get this out of the way and didn't wanna wait on the relationship or sex thread.


Just assure her you won't ask for it again, and apologise for her feeling discomfort.
Quote by StewieSwan
2 and a half years and you just hit it? Wow. You must have epic patience


There are some people who exist to satisfy themselves and their partner with a loving relationship that does not require sex for awhile.
Last edited by Z_cup_boy at Sep 14, 2009,
#10
The first time never is as magical as the girls dream. Never. Tell her you should do it more to get better at it. Don't apologize. Or she'll think it's your fault (it could be, I don't know) and may dump you.
#12
Quote by mamosa
The first time never is as magical as the girls dream. Never. Tell her you should do it more to get better at it. Don't apologize. Or she'll think it's your fault (it could be, I don't know) and may dump you.


You're a dick, dude.
Last edited by Z_cup_boy at Sep 14, 2009,
#13
Quote by Z_cup_boy
Just assure her you won't ask for it again, and apologise for her feeling discomfort.
What? No.

That's like saying it was a bad thing.
The only bad part about this is that she feels guilty after having done it.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#14
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
What? No.

That's like saying it was a bad thing.
The only bad part about this is that she feels guilty after having done it.


Yes, and that's why he should tell her he won't ask for it again until she feels comfortable.
#16
Tell her to wait a week and see how she feels. She'll see that nothing's changed and she'll get over it.
Creator of the Llamastack


#17
Quote by Z_cup_boy
You're a dick, dude.


Really? Because at his age (I'm guessing he's a teenager. could be wrong) relationships are rarely built on mutually deep feelings and love. They're built on a combination of social standing and hormones. And once one or both of those are gone, there's rarely a reason to keep going. If she thinks there's something wrong with him sexually, she very well may dump him (not judging you).

And it is true that girls have unreal expectations for their first time.

Btw, TS, was she devastated about losing her virginity, or the circumstances in which she lost her virginity.
#19
Quote by mamosa
Really? Because at his age (I'm guessing he's a teenager. could be wrong) relationships are rarely built on mutually deep feelings and love. They're built on a combination of social standing and hormones. And once one or both of those are gone, there's rarely a reason to keep going. If she thinks there's something wrong with him sexually, she very well may dump him (not judging you).

And it is true that girls have unreal expectations for their first time.

Btw, TS, was she devastated about losing her virginity, or the circumstances in which she lost her virginity.



You don't know them both, and I know some couples who have dated through high school together.
Point is, he made her feel uncomfortable. This was not intentional but it still did harm that should be apologised for, (and as well make it known TS did not intend to make her feel that way).
#20
Quote by mamosa
Btw, TS, was she devastated about losing her virginity, or the circumstances in which she lost her virginity.
Maybe the 30 second duration?
He's been waiting a couple of years for this one. Not likely he lasted long, ya know...
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#21
Quote by mamosa
Really? Because at his age (I'm guessing he's a teenager. could be wrong) relationships are rarely built on mutually deep feelings and love. They're built on a combination of social standing and hormones. And once one or both of those are gone, there's rarely a reason to keep going. If she thinks there's something wrong with him sexually, she very well may dump him (not judging you).

And it is true that girls have unreal expectations for their first time.

Btw, TS, was she devastated about losing her virginity, or the circumstances in which she lost her virginity.


To answer all of the variables in that statement: I'm 17, we both love eachother very much but still realize that things could be different in the future(Like, we don't wanna elope or anything).

as for the last part, I'm not sure. She said she regrets it and didn't explain why then went to bed.
#22
Quote by punkrocker10115
Relationship thread.


That.

But, just tell her you're sorry and that you wish you two would have waited longer and tell her that you two won't do anything like that again until you're both really ready; just say it was a bad impulse thing.
#23
Have another go-around. First times are very...awkward. A little more ****ing her sluttiness will finally surface, and you can hit that whenever.
"If you're looking for me,
you better check under the sea,
because that's where you'll find me..."
#24
Quote by Z_cup_boy
You don't know them both,
And you do???

Quote by Z_cup_boy
and I know some couples who have dated through high school together.
Different people from these two...

Quote by Z_cup_boy
Point is, he made her feel uncomfortable. This was not intentional but it still did harm that should be apologised for, (and as well make it known TS did not intend to make her feel that way).
WRONG.

Why is it HIS fault? Because he's male??? It takes two to tango...
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#25
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
To answer all of the variables in that statement: I'm 17, we both love eachother very much but still realize that things could be different in the future(Like, we don't wanna elope or anything).

as for the last part, I'm not sure. She said she regrets it and didn't explain why then went to bed.


Find out. It's an important difference. If she feels you ****ed up, that's bad. If she feels regret about losing her virginity, that's an easier fix. Just tell her when she's ready.

And TS, not to be a dick (I'm totally gonna sound like a dick) I doubt you love each other. I could be wrong, and you may be one of the rare couples that actually love each other, but I think it's all the hormones. And if she feels uncomfortable because she feels you can't satisfy her, the hormones will swing against you. And that's bad. So you need to communicate to her (if she's uncomfortable because she feels you weren't performing well) that unreal expectation isn't fair to you.
#26
Also: She decided she finally wanted to last weekend. We tried to, said it hurt her too much, and I backed off. She had a good cry(I did, but on a lesser scale) because she wanted me to have it really bad but couldn't because she was too tight. Not trying to brag or anything, she's a small girl.

But she said it was uncomfortable because it hurt so much. And she said it wasn't special which is why it's my fault.

So essentially, I'm the one being the dick here.
#27
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
And you do???

Different people from these two...

WRONG.

Why is it HIS fault? Because he's male??? It takes two to tango...



I don't know them both but he said himself they love one another.

I like how you are accusing me of sexism. If you do something to someone and you don't intend to harm them but you accidently do, you apologise still. You say, "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, but it was not my intention."
Yeah, they both consented, but people don't always enjoy what they think they will. It happens.
#29
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
Also: She decided she finally wanted to last weekend. We tried to, said it hurt her too much, and I backed off. She had a good cry(I did, but on a lesser scale) because she wanted me to have it really bad but couldn't because she was too tight. Not trying to brag or anything, she's a small girl.

But she said it was uncomfortable because it hurt so much. And she said it wasn't special which is why it's my fault.

So essentially, I'm the one being the dick here.


See??? That's good that you know what's wrong here. However, the problem is that you don't... to put this indelicately... fit. So what you may need to do (this belongs in the sex thread) is foreplay. Lots of it. Get the vaginal area ready and stimulated before you try for penetration. And fingers may help.

#30
uhhhhhhh everyone is very tight their first time... it took me like an hour just to get it in
Quote by Ignite

Once I got out of a pool and it was like 1cm.

Quote by Meths
I think there are few people with a less important opinion on women than you.
#31
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
Also: She decided she finally wanted to last weekend. We tried to, said it hurt her too much, and I backed off. She had a good cry(I did, but on a lesser scale) because she wanted me to have it really bad but couldn't because she was too tight. Not trying to brag or anything, she's a small girl.

But she said it was uncomfortable because it hurt so much. And she said it wasn't special which is why it's my fault.
So essentially, I'm the one being the dick here.


That's pretty cold.
Like the other guy said: It takes two to tango
#32
Quote by Z_cup_boy
I don't know them both but he said himself they love one another.

I like how you are accusing me of sexism. If you do something to someone and you don't intend to harm them but you accidently do, you apologise still. You say, "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, but it was not my intention."
Yeah, they both consented, but people don't always enjoy what they think they will. It happens.
Sexism?

He didn't do something to her. He did something with her.


Yep, sexism.
/case closed.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#34
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Sexism?

He didn't do something to her. He did something with her.


Yep, sexism.
/case closed.


He had sex WITH her, but I was pointing out he unintentionally made her feel discomfort after.

Which he did to her.
#35
tell her to loosen up. it's not special, these aren't unique circumstances, the first time is always the worst, and eventually a large object known as a "baby" will force its way out of there, putting all other vaginal "discomfort" to shame.
#36
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Sexism?

He didn't do something to her. He did something with her.


Yep, sexism.
/case closed.



She's talking about the way he made her feel, intentional or not, not the actual sex. Normally I like you, but shut up. You're wrong.
Check out my band Disturbed
#37
By the way, first time sex (I think I already said this) isn't special. The girl is almost always uncomfortable (unless the masturbates an inordinate amount) and sex just isn't like marriage. You don't GET to plan every last detail out and iron out all the kinks and plan for any and every eventuality! Sex is a spontaneous and beautiful thing, and part of its beauty lays in its spontaneity. Tell her that. Tell her it was special because it was between two people that love each other and that's all that matters (I don't believe it, but you do, and apparently she does) . She'll love it.
#38
Man, what is with everyone today? Walking around with these huge chips on their shoulders.

TS, you're obviously going to have to talk to her about this. You seem like a nice guy, so don't be a fucktard. Good luck
Quote by metabolicmaggot
Win. +1 cookie for hide the beer.

#39
Quote by StewieSwan
She's talking about the way he made her feel, intentional or not, not the actual sex. Normally I like you, but shut up. You're wrong.
The way he made her feel, intentional or not?

Garbage. He's not responsible for her feelings. She is.
He's responsible for his actions.

They both tried. There were problems. It happens.

Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
And she said it wasn't special which is why it's my fault.

So essentially, I'm the one being the dick here.
This ^ is the kind of screwed-up, unsolvable situation that occurs with the inside-out sexist mentality occurring here.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#40
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
The way he made her feel, intentional or not?

Garbage. He's not responsible for her feelings. She is.
He's responsible for his actions.

They both tried. There were problems. It happens.

This ^ is the kind of screwed-up, unsolvable situation that occurs with the inside-out sexist mentality occurring here.



You're right, he isn't responsible for her feelings, but it's pretty cold to refuse to apologize even if just to make her feel better.
Check out my band Disturbed
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