#1
ARROGANCE IS FILTHY

She said "Arrogance is filthy in a man,
that's why we'll never have our last dance."

What was once all this chatter,
the present, the future, the daydreams,
true love and what have you.

I never thought it would end,
but looking back I see the start lines and,
I can't see the light for the bends.

It's keeping me down,
I'm waiting around.

She said "You'll be your own downfall,
I doubt you can stand alone.
It's time to grow up and,
Think about settling down."

"Arrogance is filthy in a man,
that's why we'll never have our last dance."

I load up a little hope,
the present, the future, the daydreams,
locked in and ready to go.

What's left becomes useless,
fights and the 'what happened last night's'
just hush the excuses.

I've been kept down,
and waited around.

There's a fine line between confidence,
arrogance and a messed up mind.
Do I know where I stand?
Too right, too right.

She said "You'll be your own downfall,
I doubt you can stand alone.
It's time to grow up and,
Think about settling down."

"Arrogance is filthy in a man,
that's why we'll never have our last dance."

There's a fine line between confidence,
arrogance and a messed up mind.
Do I know where I stand?
Too right, too right.

It doesn't take many days,
to realise just how much you take,
for granted.
Last edited by 1anbrown at Oct 5, 2009,
#3
I liked this quite a bit. The rhyming was good and didn't feel forced or overdone, the rhythm was smooth, and the presentation was good for the most part. I say "for the most part" because I felt like there were some parts that were repeated in places they didn't seem to fit. For instance, the last three stanzas seemed to feel a little jagged, as if they were sticking up a little bit because they didn't quite fit as they were. I don't really know how else to say it, it just ended up losing me a little near the end because it was harder to track with the meaning and the overall story.
Ultimately I liked this, but its grip on me slowly faded in the end so it didn't quite leave an imprint on me. I enjoyed it more after a second reading, but the same pros and cons stood out to me. C4C on Our Constellations Over Nowhere in my sig?