#1
This needs a TON of work. Inspiration was seeing a weed and a flower next to eachother. Trying to be somewhat romantic, i KNOW it needs a huge amount of work. I would love some help, this is the first time I have really struggled to make a song, this girl is so worth it hahah.
Acoustic song by the way

thinking of ditching rhymes all together
Once I held no worthy seeds
Just one grew
a small withering weed
Once I held the value of dirt
Watering made no difference
I held no gift of life, only hurt


My weed slowly wilting away
craving to find the right soil
Nothing to lose, gaining dismay
will I find my match to bloom
Planting my weed in a patch of gloom

Help me grow, I'll be stronger
prune my flaws, I'll look nicer
I'll keep you by my side
Safe from pesticide

The weed beginning to move on
Found a beauty of a dandilion
Flowing in the wind, the simple sway
Stretching root and thorn


I now hold the value of two
All it took was a flower
to make my hope renew

Help me grow, I'll be stronger
prune my flaws, I'll look nicer
I'll keep you by my side
Safe from pesticide
#2
I like the idea a lot, but I'd lose the rhyme scheme, like you said. Personally I think it's pretty limiting. Worry more about versing it evenly, IMO.

Great concept, though. You're onto something good here, so don't let it fall through the cracks.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#5
Please go check out the rules, specifically regarding thread titles. Once you do then feel free to repost this correctly.

Thanks.