#1
I haven't thought of a name yet, so any suggestions pertaining to that, and of course the lyrics/structure of the song are welcomed.
----
Did I disappoint you?
Do something you think I should regret?
im standing here
waiting for an answer
you're across town in his bed

But don't act
like we never had love
we had it but you let it go
And I'm standing, its still right before me
buts its not me that you give your love

What youre saying to me is that
we may be someday but not now
life is too short so be happy, you say
I can't be when I know im without

The rain on the windows get louder with each given day
As I lie awake and think of what i'm thinking to say

What youre saying to me is that
we may be someday but not now
life is too short so be happy, you say
I can't be when I know im without

now the snow lines the streets of tomorrow
while my heart beats with dismay
but tonight is different for both of us
you said what I needed you to say

'The time has passed and I'm coming back
We're together like I said at last'
if only it were true
the light'd shine through
cause I am in love with you
"I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to."~Jimi Hendrix...
#2
I hate, hate when pieces have questions like that in them. I can't stand it. And you start out with two right off the bat, which puts me in a bad mood to start off the piece. This is very direct and straightforward. I know it's lyrics so it's a bit more acceptable, but still. Too much plain language, it's just another thing I've read. Nothing to make me say "Wow, that's really cool", ya know?

Anyway. I guess it's alright for a song.

If you want, you could take a look at the piece in my sig.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#3
haha alright thanks for the critique. I absolutly suck at lyrics, ive always stuck to instrumental pieces and people seem to enjoy them a lot, i just like singing while playing. i hate a lot of the same stuff you said too, ill rework this one.
"I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to."~Jimi Hendrix...
#4
Quote by collecter
Did I disappoint you?
Do something you think I should regret?
im standing here
waiting for an answer
you're across town in his bed



I loved this part, but I just can't see the whole thing as lyrics you know? More like a poem. Still good, though.