#1
I dont know about this, I feel I stole the rhyming pattern from something..., but here it is anyways...

Rock Is Dead
But what does that mean to me
Spoon feedings arent what i call to be free

One day theyll collapse the underground
Take utopia by the knees
They have the keys
They have the power
Revolutions coming and they just want me to cower

So Ill Listen
And Ill fight To protect all that sounds right
Jail our music
Hide the keys
But that wont stop me

So Ill Listen
And Ill Be
Theyre own worst enemy
Ill masquerade as everyman
Just like they want me to be

Just You see...


Not sure if Im done there, but I dont want to continue yet, dont want it drawn out. Opinions, tips?

Thanks.
#2
Haha, great idea, dude!
I really liked the rhyme scheme (I feel it's from something too, don't worry), and I liked the concept.

One thing I can really critique on is just increase the length and add a bridge/more verses (the structure seems odd, but it could be a personal choice) and it'll be a classic rock hit!

Cheers!

Edit: Battles for the win!
DEAD. AIR. SPACE.

Fender American Strat/Tele->Vox V847 Wah->EH LPB-1->BK Butler Tube Driver->Big Muff Pi->MXR Carbon Copy->EH Small Clone->Vox AC30/Orange Tiny Terror/Blues Deluxe RI
Last edited by djszkoda at Sep 19, 2009,
#3
I really have an issue with structure. Sometimes I can write for pages without maintaining one unifying structure. Recently I tried writing something more structured, but was unable to make a verse once I had my chorus, stuff like that.

And yes, Battles for the win :P