Page 1 of 2
#1
I wanted to post some chuck norris jokes so i looked for a thread and couldn't find one. Post some chuck norris jokes.
I am the only sane person on the planet. Does that make me crazy?

Crank the Mids
#2
This thread is so 2008.
I will stand by all this drinking if it helps me through these days,
It takes a long time just to get this all straight.
#3
What's your point? I wasn't here in 08
I am the only sane person on the planet. Does that make me crazy?

Crank the Mids
#4
Sigh, damn 09'ers.
I will stand by all this drinking if it helps me through these days,
It takes a long time just to get this all straight.
#5
Quote by Syndromity
Sigh, damn 09'ers.


Hey!

Chuck Norris ought to roundhouse kick your face!
Last edited by denfilade at Sep 19, 2009,
#7
Quote by Syndromity
This thread is so 2008.



You're so 2000 and late.
P.L.U.R.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end

We were fated to pretend
#8
As horribly old as Chuck Norris Jokes are...I love 'em, so I'll post a couple.

"If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you."

"Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship."

Roll on outdated jokes. Maybe there'll be some new ones.
#10
Quote by punkrocker10115
You're so 2000 and late.



Quote by ShadowcastAlex
It says you joined August 09!


See above picture.
I will stand by all this drinking if it helps me through these days,
It takes a long time just to get this all straight.
#11
Quote by ShadowcastAlex
It says you joined August 09!





Damn conformists...Chuck Norris still oughta roundhouse kick that guy in the face.
#12
Chuck Norris can eat a scrambled rubix cube and crap it out solved.
I am the only sane person on the planet. Does that make me crazy?

Crank the Mids
#14
when chuck norris jumps into water, chuck norris doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norris.
Epiphone Les Paul Studio AW Ltd Run
Squier Classic Vibe 50s Tele
Epiphone PR 5 CE VS
Blackstar HT5 Head
Harley Benton 2X12" (Celestion V 30s)
Danelectro Cool Cat Drive CO1
Marshall Reflector RF1
Digitech Hardwire HW DL 8 Delay/Looper
#15
Quote by punkrocker10115
You're so 2000 and late.



BOOM BOOM BOOM

OT: Chuck Norris had an erection. There were no survivors.
R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio. Supplied amazing music to both me and my mother.

He will be missed.
#16
can a woodchuck chuck? >.>
Quote by ep1kz


i've yet to see somebody overthink something as incredibly as you just have

#17
Ooh, i got a Chuck Norris fact!

Chuck Norris actively supported a US presidential candidate but it didn't really make a difference at all


/] 三方 [\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#18
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
#19
Chuck Norris once lost his hat in an apple orchard. He got so pissed off, he accidentally invented apple sauce.
I am the only sane person on the planet. Does that make me crazy?

Crank the Mids
#20
chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
Gear:
Fernandes Revolver Elite
Schecter C1 Exotic
Schecter C1 Classic
Peavey JSX head
Hartke 4x12 cab
Boss GT-8
BBE 362 Sonic maximizer
#22
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
#23
Chuck Norris ate a 72oz steak in one hour. He spent the first 45 minuets having sex with his waitress.
#24
Chuck Norris' wife overcooked the turkey for thanksgiving one year. In order to cheer her up, he went outside and swallowed a wild turkey whole, then he came inside and regurgitated it on the table fully feathered, cooked and seasoned. When his wife asked him how he did it, he round house kicked her in the face and said "nobody questions Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris trained his dog to pick up after himself because Chuck Norris doesn't take sh1t from anyone.

When taxes are due, Instead of sending a W2, Chuck Norris sends a picture of himself crouched in the fighting position. Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes.
I am the only sane person on the planet. Does that make me crazy?

Crank the Mids
#25
there is no such thing as steriod takers,only ppl chuck norris has breathed on
#27
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris wasn't circumsised. He was circum-navigated.
Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#28
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it.

MC Hammer was wrong. Chuck Norris can touch that.
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#29
a woodchuck can't chuck Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris chucks a woodchuck at a woodchuck so hard, the wood chucks out of a nearby tree and chucks the woodchuck that just been chucked.
Quote by ep1kz


i've yet to see somebody overthink something as incredibly as you just have

#30
Fact:
Chuck Norris once got a score of 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his best by two points.
MaKing thE possiBlE...
...totaLlY impossible
#32
the boogeyman checks his closet before going to bed everynight for chuck norris .
Quote by bendystraw
This shit is seriously retarded.
#33
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter...

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the equator and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris's beard does not contain a chin... Only another fist.
#34
Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that beats a Royal Flush
Quote by slash_GNR666
Why the hell would anyone let a girl play a guitar? The sink has water in it, safety issues people!
#35
Chuck Norris can double the leading tone in choral writing.
I am the only sane person on the planet. Does that make me crazy?

Crank the Mids
#36
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Chuck Norris sucks dick.

Best one so far.
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#37
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

When you masturbate, God kills a kitten. When God masturbates, Chuck Norris kills a lion.
E-peen:
Rhodes Gemini
Fryette Ultra Lead
Peavey 6505
THD Flexi 50

Gibson R0 Prototype
EBMM JP13 Rosewood
Fender CS Mary Kaye

WTLT

(512) Audio Engineering - Custom Pedal Builds, Mods and Repairs
#38
Quote by denfilade
Hey!

Chuck Norris ought to roundhouse kick your face!



Who needs chuck norris when you have me?


*hints at sig.


>_>


<_<


*Roundhouse kicks the **** out of denfilade



|_|0|_|
|_|_|0|
|0|0|0|
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
#39
chuck norris has slept with 99 percent of the female population. the other 1% are either incredibly ugly or morbidly obese
Ill Take it all
Arrows and Guns.. Hundreds and more


Save you from one
#40
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Page 1 of 2