#1
the first verse of this song was written almost three years ago. i dug it up recently and re-wrote the rest.

where have you gone?
I know you were still alive
when I last checked your vital signs
I know my medical experience
leaves something to desire
but I thought that I could heal
whatever ailed you if I just tried
we laid in the grass,
spent a summer drifting through the clouds
and fending off the rain
so I will forever think of you
as someone who could ease the pain
and take you like a drug

static encroaching on the last resistance broadcast
factories violently twisting steel into shape
a million balls of lead, a million trembling hands
cutting the puppet strings that hold our bodies upright
now we fall to the ground, we're nothing more than nerves
twisted and tangled underneath the skin

I believed when they told me
that you'd been in a coma
since the day they put a gun in my hand
but you haven't slept
they intercepted all your letters saying,
"leave your helmet, come back home"
I think they put me under,
stuffed my body full of cotton,
pulled the muscle from my delicate bones
but I've been trying to move
I know it's been a year or two,
but still I hope you're waiting for me
at the place where the dust ends,
where things are turning green again
and spring is pouring out of you
#2
not bad. i'd either rewrite or maybe add a chorus to try and clear up the focus or main point, so to speak