Had to write a poem about American society for English. Nothing too fancy, the whole point of this is to revise and edit in groups, just wanted to have someone get a first look before I go to class.

I wrote about places like Atlantic City where people spend tons of money at restaurants and casinos, when right outside on the boardwalk the homeless is begging for food.

Yes, some of the rhyming was really forced. Not trying to write the greatest piece in the world

Monetary Abyss

While we spend all our money
On cards and machines;
Poverty sweeps the boardwalks.
How greedy are we?
These sights go unseen;
We’re too caught up to stop.

Why do we keep spending?
When others try desperately to survive?
What are our leaders doing to fix this?
They sit around pretending,
That they have a plan to contrive.
This country is in an abyss.
Quote by Ylasto
R.I.P Ean.

Are there any other members of Lynyrd Skynyrd who are dead?
I do not like poems. Well I do now. Really good both verse were great, the second one really hit me. Great. Don't think it sounds forced at all

Crit my song please?
I'm changing the title of this thread. Please go read the forum rules and you'll see why. Thanks.