#1
Hey I've been playing in a band for 3 years now and have become pretty good friends with the guitarist/singer in our band.

I decided in May after a failed tour and numerous reasons that I do not want to be in the band anymore. I didn't quit all summer because we had 15+ shows booked and didn't want to have to cancel them all.

Now we finally have a break in shows, nothing is booked after this weekend and I want to quit before we start booking anything for the fall.

We have two practices this week, a meeting for a gig on Sat and a show Sat night.

I was wondering what would be the most diplomatic way to end my tenure with the band.

I was considering telling them the night of the show before we get on stage or after.
Not sure I want to tell them during jam because it might make things more awkward.
#2
After the show would probably be better than before.

Maybe offer to stay with the band until the find a replacement. But make sure they do actually look.
#3
Ok, well after the show is a definate time to tell them

- offer to stay until they find the replacement
- make sure you tell them face to face (not by text or whatever)
- give them real reasons for leaving

Thats about it, good luck
#4
kick the singers dog
punch the singer
leave the band
ask to come back
travel to NY
get absolutely smashed
hope they kick you out
go home and shoot heroine
create the worlds fastest band
continuously fire the guitarist and drummer
repeat til dead
this signature has my gear in it. nothing more, nothing less

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Line 6 Spider III
#5
Quote by meow1992
kick the singers dog
punch the singer
leave the band
ask to come back
travel to NY
get absolutely smashed
hope they kick you out
go home and shoot heroine
create the worlds fastest band
continuously fire the guitarist and drummer
repeat til dead


... dave mustaine ?
#6
Quote by MikeDee
... dave mustaine ?

indeed
this signature has my gear in it. nothing more, nothing less

Gear
Ibanez S770PB
Jackson Rhoads
Custom Strat
Agile Al 3100
Rainbow Music Shop Custom Les Paul
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Bugera 6260 212
Line 6 Spider III
#7
Just tell them you dont want to be in the band any more.
Wait a couple days after the show.
I have the feeling that if you told the "real" reason(s) there will be some hard feelings.
#8
There is some reasons that's personal that i don't wanna bring up so the whole truth wouldn't go over so far i.e. can't stand new drummer, new ep sounds like noone mixed it.
#9
Tell them you just dont want to do it anymore.
Make up some story if you feel the need, spend more time with GF, new job, etc...
If you go the the theater and dont like the movie do you go to the manager and tell them why, or just leave?
#10
Quote by MikeDee
... dave mustaine ?

Did he really bang kirk's girlfriend before he left?
Turtles R awesome. dont agree? YOU GO TO HELL, YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!


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Stagg G-310 - i smashed it.
#11
Sikosofus that analogy of the movie theatres doesn't really apply because I haven't worked with the manager for 10+ hours a week for 3 years. But thanks for the tip I'll try to leave with few as words as possible

Thanks for the tips, I guess I'll wait until after the show, I can't really wait a couple days because we have practice two days later and I wanna get it done before that. Being a replacement for a bit is a good idea too, I'll offer that.
#12
Quote by goodlifebadlife
After the show would probably be better than before.

Maybe offer to stay with the band until the find a replacement. But make sure they do actually look.


This sounds like a good plan, and do tell them nicely but firmly
#13
Quote by Scooch
Hey I've been playing in a band for 3 years now and have become pretty good friends with the guitarist/singer in our band.

I decided in May after a failed tour and numerous reasons that I do not want to be in the band anymore. I didn't quit all summer because we had 15+ shows booked and didn't want to have to cancel them all.

Now we finally have a break in shows, nothing is booked after this weekend and I want to quit before we start booking anything for the fall.

We have two practices this week, a meeting for a gig on Sat and a show Sat night.

I was wondering what would be the most diplomatic way to end my tenure with the band.

I was considering telling them the night of the show before we get on stage or after.
Not sure I want to tell them during jam because it might make things more awkward.


Do it after the show. DO NOT do it before as that will make an already stressful time more stressful! DO NOT say you're leaving on stage because that's called being an asshat. DO NOT do it in the jam for the same reason as the first point.

I'd do it about 5 mins or so after you're off stage. When you're all together. Just say it.

Good luck.
#14
The point i was trying to make is that you do not need to justify that you want to leave the band.
I did not know that you have practice in 2 day. Dont do it right after the show, that would be kinda tacky.
Let them know the next day, dont be a replacement. Make a clean cut.
Your call. Best of luck to you.
#15
I was in pretty much the same situation. 3 years, band wasn't going anywhere, and I was going back to school. I sat them down, I told them that they were great guys and I still consider them my friends, but that I wasn't going to be able to be in the band anymore. I offered to teach my parts to whoever they got to replace me, and to play any shows they booked until they found a replacement. It ended up being extremely amicable, and they wished me well.
#16
Quote by vinnie-watt5
Did he really bang kirk's girlfriend before he left?


What a badass. If he did that aswell he's definitely my new hero!
Quote by AlanHB
Yeah well in special UG land chords = noob, scales = intermediate and modes = advanced. Most users are trying to finish the game on hard because then you get the trophies for noob and intermediate difficulties upon completion anyway.
#17
Quote by meow1992
kick the singers dog
punch the singer
leave the band
ask to come back
travel to NY
get absolutely smashed
hope they kick you out
go home and shoot heroine
create the worlds fastest band
continuously fire the guitarist and drummer
repeat til dead



Reason why this isn't funny is because it is such a horrible interpetation of actual events of Dave Musatine.
Last edited by The Arsis at Sep 24, 2009,
#18
UPDATE : I just left my band. I waited till after the show then I was going to tell the other members but I chickened out.

I then went home and eventually called the "leader" of our group met up with him at his house, "told him I couldn't do this anymore" he took it surprisingly well. His girlfriend overheard us talking and she's like the 4th member of our group and she was balling her eyes out pleading for me not to go, kind of awkward but really sad.

I kind of feel like **** right now but I also feel relieved from no more commitments.
#19
Girlfriend is the 4th member of the band? Geez that's reason enough to leave.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
Soundcloud
#20
Don't know if this had already happened but you could just tell them you're not interested in playing anymore but you still want to go out with a big bang with this last gig?
#21
Well I'm glad you got thru it. I'm a little taken back that you actually considered doing it right before a gig because that could quite possibly be the worst possible time.
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#22
Quote by meow1992
kick the singers dog
punch the singer
leave the band
ask to come back
travel to NY
get absolutely smashed
hope they kick you out
go home and shoot heroine
create the worlds fastest band
continuously fire the guitarist and drummer
repeat til dead


You're my hero.
Please excuse my godawful username. I was thirteen.
#23
Quote by Sam-Harrison
Ok, well after the show is a definate time to tell them

- offer to stay until they find the replacement
- make sure you tell them face to face (not by text or whatever)
- give them real reasons for leaving

Thats about it, good luck



^^^^^ This is your most sound advice. After playing w/the guys for 3 years, they deserve to hear the truth why you're quitting. Make sure they are actively pursuing a replacement. Offer to stay till they find one or for a certain period of time longer. Giving them a warning to find another band member is the civil thing to do.