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#1
So pit,
Everybody has to say something before the religion lesson starts, like a prayer or something and tomorrow is my turn.
It has to be something smart / something you need to think about , preferrably about religion (but atheist quotes about religion are even better to annoy the teacher .)
Most people say quotes about religion like some ghandi stuff but I don't know any good ones.
So tell me the best short quotes that can be read before a religion class.
#4


if it hasn't already been said anyway..
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#6
And 'lo the super devil he didst attacketh God with a trident and god didst sent thee Heavenly spirit of Chuck Norris to banish him to a room with the Jonas brothers playing for all eternity.. Amen

Seriously do your own homework.
"Oh, if i could kidnap that feeling, the one that melts all fears from your mind."
Quote by Babbs

i thought you meant there was some ancient indian spirit named desi who would come and haunt me during my trip.
#7
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off"
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#8
Memorize and say this epic post by Vornik which disproves the idea of a Christian God:
Quote by Vornik
Imagine God before creation and don't give me any bull**** about how there was no time or you can't imagine god or any of that apologetic bull**** because we both know damn ****ing well that you can conceive of god before creation.

Scenario A.
Imagine God before creation. This God is not omniscient. It can create the universe in any way it choses, there are presumably unlimited options. If it creates the universe in a certain way, the creatures will behave in a certain way, but the god might not necessarily know how they will behave. No conflict here.

Scenario B
Imagine God before creation. This God is not omniscient. It can create the universe in any way it choses, and so on. Unlike God A, God B cares very much about how its creatures should behave, but like God A, God B does not necessarily know how they will behave. If the creatures behave in a way that upsets God B, God B will punish them. Does this seem fair to the creatures? No. Does God B seem like a responsible, admirable being? Absolutely not. Is this scenario self-contradictory? Not at all.

Scenario C
Imagine God before creation. This God is omniscient. Like Gods A and B, God C can create the universe in any way it choses, but God C is unique in that not only does it have unlimited options, but because it has the property of being omniscient, it knows BEFORE TAKING ANY ACTION what EVERY result of whatever it does will be. This God will then know how every individual creature that comes about as a result of its creation will interact with the world in which it was created. Imagine that God C does not really care how its creatures act, and is merely an observer. Imagine a squirrel in God C's universe that drops an acorn off a tree, which falls and crushes a moth. Flash back to before creation. God C KNEW that if it chose that particular creation out of the limitless options, that moth would be crushed. How can one say that it was not God C's fault? What arguments could be made to alleviate God C of the blame? If one suggests that it is not the fault of God C, one could not possibly argue that it was the fault of the squirrel, for if God is not responsible for the actions of the squirrel that it created, why would the squirrel be responsible for the actions of the acorn?

Ah, but what if the squirrel purposefully dropped the acorn, knowing it would crush the moth? It would seem reasonable to place the blame on the squirrel, then.

But why not on God C? God C dropped the acorn when it created the universe, and God C dropped it with the intent to kill the moth because God C knew in advance that it would land on the moth.

The same applies to any other sin or any other action that any human being takes. If I hit someone with my car, God C hit someone with my car because God C created me, created the car, and knew that someone would be hit. Every time an acorn drops, God C dropped it - for better or for worse.

But of course the theist will then claim that the squirrel had a choice, it could have held on to the acorn. This is simply an illusion. Regardless of whether the squirrel or anyone else is aware, the future events have already been set in stone by God C when it foresaw creation before creating it and created it the way it did. I might think I have the choice of taking the elevator or the stairs, and I can sit and ponder my options for days, but no matter how much deliberation I exercise, the ultimate choice that I would make was known before God C created anything at all. Before I even had a mind with which to deliberate, the choice was known, and the choice was made, but not by me.

Is God C cruel? Is God C benevolent? Maybe, it's hard to say. One thing that is certain, however, is that the creatures created by God C could not possibly perform any action that God C was not directly responsible for. Is this self-contradictory? No. Is God C a responsible, caring creator? Maybe.

Scenario D
Imagine a God exactly similar to God C. The only difference is that God D will punish horrifically any creature acts in a way unsatisfactory to God D. Could there be more cruel a being? Could there be more evil a villain than such a God? No, there certainly could not be.

Can free will exist when the Creator chose what actions would be taken by every creature? Can there be spontaneity when the movements of every atom where known before atoms existed? Certainly not, and to think so is absurd. There are three possibilities:

Non-omniscient creator: not directly responsible for actions of its creations. Free will can exist, but the creator will always be indirectly responsible.

Omniscient creator: directly responsible for actions of its creations. Free will cannot exist.

Omniscient being, not the creator of all: not responsible for the actions of any creatures, free will can exist, but this being is not the creator of the universe.

Of the three options, the Christian God best suits the 2nd. However, the Christian God is like God D, and though it is directly responsible for its creature's actions, it punishes them for acting in certain ways. Not only is free will impossible, but this God is a sadistic, evil tyrant more treacherous than any villain ever imagined by the human mind.
"Why should we subsidise intellectual curiosity?"
-Ronald Reagan

"Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-George Washington
#9
Secular schools can never be tolerated because such schools have no religious instruction, and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith ...we need believing people."

-- Adolf Hitler, April 26, 1933
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#13
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make His way home
"Why should we subsidise intellectual curiosity?"
-Ronald Reagan

"Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-George Washington
#14
Quote by Waffleguy
I did my homework , I just wanted to know if the pit could think of something better to say .


Oh okay sorry
"Oh, if i could kidnap that feeling, the one that melts all fears from your mind."
Quote by Babbs

i thought you meant there was some ancient indian spirit named desi who would come and haunt me during my trip.
#15
Dear God,

We thank you, for saving us from the original sin you originally created us with, by impregnating a woman with yourself in order to be born, dying, then coming back to life again.

Amen.


>_>

<_<

You've all seen the picture.
#17
Quote by Waffleguy

It has to be something smart / something you need to think about , preferrably about religion (but atheist quotes about religion are even better to annoy the teacher .)


So you want to say something atheist just to annoy your teacher? Fail.

If you are an atheist, quote something atheist (not to annoy your teacher, but because it's what you belive in.)
#18
Quote by Ur all $h1t
Memorize and say this epic post by Vornik which disproves the idea of a Christian God:


This doesn't disprove the idea of a Christian god. It just proves that the Christian god is a dick.
#20
Quote by michal23
Dear God,

We thank you, for saving us from the original sin you originally created us with, by impregnating a woman with yourself in order to be born, dying, then coming back to life again.

Amen.


>_>

<_<

You've all seen the picture.


Hmm , when you put it like this it sounds really stupid that people still believe this .

Quote by pwnerer
So you want to say something atheist just to annoy your teacher? Fail.

If you are an atheist, quote something atheist (not to annoy your teacher, but because it's what you belive in.)

No I am an atheist since I read some good books but usually I say something religious not to annoy the teacher but the new one has some really stupid idea's so now I'm going to say something I stand for.
If you want to know what I had chosen it was
Which is it, is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's?

By Nietzsche
Last edited by Waffleguy at Sep 23, 2009,
#22
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
This doesn't disprove the idea of a Christian god. It just proves that the Christian god is a dick.

Which he can't be because he is, by definition, omni-benevolent.
"Why should we subsidise intellectual curiosity?"
-Ronald Reagan

"Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-George Washington
#23
Quote by shattamakar
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off"

Stephen King, **** yeah!
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#24
Quote by Zoot Allures
Some people say a lot of the bible is metaphorical. Was the story of jesus metaphorical too? How about the concept of 'God'?
Well, the Bible is probabilly metaphoric. I don't think God created Adam and Eve and similar stuffs, it's just a story written by humans, and humans can't know these stuffs.
#25
Also, free will goes against god because if he is 'out of' time then he would have set everything in place now and forever (the divine plan). If he can witness the entire human race from dawn till dusk at once (which he obviously can since he has his plan) then no one has any free will and some people are just going to hell because he planned it that way. If this is true then we have no free will and God is also a complete dick to his people by planning things out so there's no destiny other than hell for them.

This also proves that prayer wont work because his plans already done
#26
Quote by Zoot Allures
Also, free will goes against god because if he is 'out of' time then he would have set everything in place now and forever (the divine plan). If he can witness the entire human race from dawn till dusk at once (which he obviously can since he has his plan) then no one has any free will and some people are just going to hell because he planned it that way. If this is true then we have no free will and God is also a complete dick to his people by planning things out so there's no destiny other than hell for them.

This also proves that prayer wont work because his plans already done

I've asked my Christian mother millions of times how prayer can affect an omniscient/present being and I don't think I've ever got a straight answer.
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#27
Quote by jgbsmith


if it hasn't already been said anyway..


Hey Smith, meet me in the religious forum sometime with that quote (image).

Because those arguments DO make a folly of the COMMON conception of God. It is true.

But that's not the ONLY conception of God.
#28
Quote by TheBurningFish
Stephen King, **** yeah!


Indeed.
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#30
Quote by axuality
Hey Smith, meet me in the religious forum sometime with that quote (image).

Because those arguments DO make a folly of the COMMON conception of God. It is true.

But that's not the ONLY conception of God.


I'll debate with you

In fact I just posted in the R&P thread
.
#31
Quote by Nietsche
I'll debate with you

In fact I just posted in the R&P thread


I shall debate too, for I am a Masturdebator.
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#32
Quote by Zoot Allures
Some people say a lot of the bible is metaphorical. Was the story of jesus metaphorical too? How about the concept of 'God'?


Yes, Jesus was metaphorical. Or rather, it wouldn't matter if he was. Because it is the spiritual, not material interpretation of his words which matter, not the fact that he existed or not.

And while God isn't exactly metaphorical, He certainly isn't the God which is 99.9% of the religious population think He is, either. How could he be?
#33
Quote by Nietsche
I'll debate with you

In fact I just posted in the R&P thread



Hey, it's the H&S guy. hey howdy.

Well, if you're debating me, at least I know that someone smart will be there, if not someone slightly misled... --take it nicely
#34
Quote by axuality
Yes, Jesus was metaphorical. Or rather, it wouldn't matter if he was. Because it is the spiritual, not material interpretation of his words which matter, not the fact that he existed or not.

And while God isn't exactly metaphorical, He certainly isn't the God which is 99.9% of the religious population think He is, either. How could he be?


Even if there was a God there is a huge probability that he is an all Powerful creator of worlds who doesn't give two hoots about the human race.
Quote by thanksgiving
I'm coming for you with a castrator!
You sick bastard.



Watch that video below

If this video reaches 1000 views before Christmas, I'll play with my titties on cam.

#35
Quote by axuality
Yes, Jesus was metaphorical. Or rather, it wouldn't matter if he was. Because it is the spiritual, not material interpretation of his words which matter, not the fact that he existed or not.


I believe we have evidence from tacitus that yes there was a man called 'christus' who was regarded as the messiah by his followers, SlackerBabbath is the expert on these things which Is why I'd like to have this debate in the religion thread if you don't mind.

And while God isn't exactly metaphorical, He certainly isn't the God which is 99.9% of the religious population think He is, either. How could he be?


He couldn't, so could you go to the R&P thread and answer my question, that'll help me understand where you're coming from, thanks.

(Link in case you can't find it: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=21726443#post21726443 )
.
#36
Quote by axuality
Hey, it's the H&S guy. hey howdy.

Well, if you're debating me, at least I know that someone smart will be there, if not someone slightly misled... --take it nicely

Weren't you the guy who was trying to prove that homosexuality is a choice in the Let's Talk About Gay's thread?

Edit: yeah, you were.
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
Last edited by TheBurningFish at Sep 23, 2009,
#37
I do'wanna be a nay sayer, but...

IF YOU WANT TO DISCUSS ANY OF THE FOLLOWING TOPICS, DO SO IN THE THREAD PROVIDED. IF YOU CREATE A NEW THREAD ON ONE OF THESE SUBJECTS IT WILL BE CLOSED.

Religion thread (Last page)

Relationship thread (Last page)

Political thread (Last page)

Computer Thread (Last page)

Drug Thread (Last page)


All in the "Forbidden Threads" sticky.
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#38
Quote by jgbsmith


if it hasn't already been said anyway..

This is exactly what I thought of.

Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#39
Quote by axuality
Hey Smith, meet me in the religious forum sometime with that quote (image).

Because those arguments DO make a folly of the COMMON conception of God. It is true.

But that's not the ONLY conception of God.



Not necessarily... God gave us freewill, that means we have the choice to commit evil as well as to do good. If we could only do good then we do not have a choice. However, natural evil is slightly problematic, though many people see it as a test, certainly this life must be some sort of test, otherwise we may as well go straight to heaven.

Note: I am not actually a religious.

Oh, and:


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