#1
Hey guys, I think you all know who I am, this is John Butler, I used to lurk this place without an account but it's time for me to step out of the shadows and include all of you in my warm cordial embrace called the Trio of my Awesome.

I was just sitting around here one day playing some songs simultaneously being awesome when suddenly my hair was stuck between my lard and the space bar key - of course a very awkward situation for my hair as well as myself.

Imagine my distress when suddenly, the doorbell rang. I rushed to answer it, as things should be when a super star of my caliber is contacted in this spartan yet intimate way. Little did I know my hair would battle this epic space bar a lot tougher than I expected. With a thrust of power equal to my butt cracking empty cookie jars a sunday morning, I jammed my hair loose. Ripping through the air came the space bar. It was a very sad day for space bars.

Eventually I regained my focus and headed for the door. I opened it, and found no one else than GRIM BATOL! It was my World of Warcraft realm coming to visit. The demons in my head whispered to me "HEATHEN!" and I killed them.

This is all well and good but remember how this story started. By playing a lot of songs. This brings me to my main point: Never play many songs at once. And get your hair cut, that space bar fading away was NOT a pretty sight.

Thank thee, and may all your fungus be edible.

Sincerely, John Butler

P.S. What do you prefer peanut butter or jam? Beats me.
#3
Quote by GC Shred Off
This should be stickied. I always wondered why John Butler wasn't on UG.

I don't see why anyone would as far to be like, but I respect your opinion and Imma let you finish.
#4
can... can he DO THAT?

GUITARS CURRENTLY USED
Ibanez RG7621
Ibanez RG121
ESP LTD H-400
#8
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Dr. Z Stangray
G&L ASAT Classic (Ron Kirn Custom T-Style coming soon! ronkirn.com)
Keeley 4 Knob Compressor
Taylor 314ce
#9
Pics of you holding a paper sign that says "UG FTW" or I don't think I can believe this.

Especially considering the post content was so... strange.
#12
Quote by A Rolling Stone
*Reported*

Senseless Spamming=

dont you know jesus hates wanna be mods?

reported for being a massive raging **** ******.

now let me explain why i'm making no sense. because i'm actually ****ing syrup YEAAAAH

let me observe your habit. make it mine and turn it into three balloons of mountain dew. I will not be stalked!

i shall give you a picture.

I am sorry I had to include the buttcrack. i will spread my cheeks and expose my swollen anus the same second lord voldemort succumbs to evil and cake

today, i believe we all fight cancer


cancer you see


NAO I WILL DARE

2 BE DEVIL!!!!

I SHALL PLAY YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPEL!

TASTE MY MOTHER****ING HARBL
#16
Quote by Johnny Butliboy
reported omg you are so immature OP

i can use ms paint omg you are so immature. Get over it.
#18
crap, another anal dwelling butt monkey has escaped from the pit! quick, shoot it before it can spawn others of its ilk!

in other words, captivate, BAN HIM!
#19
Good Lord. I guess I should start checking every thread made to make sure there isn't crap on this forum for so many days. Sorry I took so long guys. I was gone all day. *closed*
Equipment:
- Art & Lutherie Cedar CW (SOLD! )
- Martin D-16RGT w/ LR Baggs M1 Active Soundhole Pickup
- Seagull 25th Anniversary Flame Maple w/ LR Baggs Micro EQ

Have an acoustic guitar? Don't let your guitar dry out! Click here.
#20
Thank you, cap! My phone was blowing up all night with reports for this thread.