#1
So as I guy, I have this thing that makes things suck. Horribly. I get panic attacks whenever I engage in "the dating ritual", so whenever sexual tension exists I tend to freak out, whether it's there, or afterwards when I'm on my own. I've had it for a while, so I'm quite used to it, but it's a rather unpleasant experience and has put a bit of a damper on my love life.

Alcohol helps quite a lot, but at the same time, I don't think I want to be perpetually not sober when I date. Other than that, does anyone know any ways to help? Any ways of dealing with it on your own that don't require me paying a shrink? Note: this isn't caused by pills or anything.
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#3
Its because you're uncomfortable with it.

The more you put yourself out there and the more you do it, the easier it will become.
The lake was silent for some time. Finally it said:
"I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."
#5
There are lots of ways. Drinking will actually make anxiety and panic worse, so don't resort to that.

Learn some breathing exercises (there are tons of resources online). Also, find yourself a copy of the book "Mind Over Body." It's a great resource for helping with emotional disorders. It takes a hell of a lot work, but it's worth it in the end.
#6
Try masturbating a couple of times before you go on a date. Or just tell the girl you're nervous. That's usually cute and girls tend to be understanding (unless you like bitches.)
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#7
relax?

try not to think about it in such a negative way i guess, i strongly do not suggest drinking as a solution because it becomes a problem
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#8
Quote by kikaykitko
Try masturbating a couple of times before you go on a date. Or just tell the girl you're nervous. That's usually cute and girls tend to be understanding (unless you like bitches.)


lol, the girls i tend to date are pretty cool, it's just basically where I go on a date, then after I get back I have a little panic attack when I get home. It's almost ritualized. Very bizarre.

So I usually don't have them with the girl, but afterwards.
Quote by Cat Of Pain
^Very, very, very well done sir. You truly win.

C.


The C is what makes this post.
#9
Quote by eliterun
lol, the girls i tend to date are pretty cool, it's just basically where I go on a date, then after I get back I have a little panic attack when I get home. It's almost ritualized. Very bizarre.

So I usually don't have them with the girl, but afterwards.




I'm sorry, but I actually laughed at the thought of you coming home and taking 2 or 3 steps in the door and flipping out.

I'm sorry...
#12
Quote by eliterun
lol, the girls i tend to date are pretty cool, it's just basically where I go on a date, then after I get back I have a little panic attack when I get home. It's almost ritualized. Very bizarre.

So I usually don't have them with the girl, but afterwards.


Are you a virgin?

(Again, serious)
#13
Learn to meditate. It'll help relax your body and your mental stimuli. I'm not joking about this ****.

Meditation has been proved to help those with social anxiety, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and certain phobias.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKV8QdbF60M

Check this out as well.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
Last edited by Nelsean at Sep 25, 2009,
#14
Quote by eliterun
I get panic attacks whenever I engage in "the dating ritual", so whenever sexual tension exists I tend to freak out, whether it's there, or afterwards when I'm on my own. (...) Any ways of dealing with it on your own that don't require me paying a shrink?
Panic attacks, if that is really what you experience, have a deeper subconscious meaning. That's why it wouldn't be such a bad idea to consult a shrink. And The Pit hardly qualifies.

What a doc would do is help you understand what causes these attacks. If you can't afford one, maybe you can talk to a close friend. Someone you can trust. Talk to him about your worries. About the first few dates you had, especially the ones that went apeshit. Talk about the relation you have with your parents and friends, how your parents related while you were growing up. If they were fighting often, what pressure they put on you.

Somewhere in there is something that makes you worry. And since it causes anxiety in stressful situations, it must be something you don't realise. Maybe some event(s) you forgot about altogether. And there lies the difficulty. Talking about your life and your problems helps you remember, but it's easier when you talk to a professional who can steer the story to what is potentionally more relevant.

In the end you have to acknowledge what the problem is, and why it is a problem to you. The healing process is to rationalise this problem.

I hope this helps. Best of luck.