#1
well, I'm posting an actual song. There is a very rough recording on my profile; second attempt at a one-take recording; with no editing or anything... just wanted to record if while I still knew how everything fit together... and I posted it anyways. I don't think this is very "me," but neither is writing in a way that fits to a rhythm of any sort. Oh yeah, and sorry if I bust your ear drums... its like my fourth time ever singing where people can hear. My mom used to tell me not to sing in church, it would make Jesus sad.

c4c.



Particles
in time and space
create droplet rains,
amending my dry face.
I brush the water
from my eyes;
lust for winter
wish for quiet.

One path remains
it leads to the lake
where the sunrise lives
where the full moon cries.
Walk to the East
toward the house on the cliff
where the sunrise lives
where the full moon died.

I sit there eating rays from the sun
as they reflect up from the waves
and I smile.
Look to branches for peace
as the trees wave fingers at me
and I smile.

Bring your cancer
let it taste me.
I've digested
too much light lately.

Cancer was never swift enough;
the branches delivered their verdict first.
Now I always sleep
where the sunrise lives.
I'll forever sleep,
where the moonlight dies.
#2
Lyrically, its great, i have a few tuggz with the cancer lines though.

Its a touchy subject.

Also, i didn't expect the singing to be as such on your profile. Get some girl to sing it slower than you are.

And with melody instead of kinda.. chanting it. Im sure it will sound beautiful.

It will also allow for more rythym-lead work on your guitar.