#1
hey guys, got a little problem i need your expertise with.

im in a 3 piece indie/ska band, doing guitar and lead vocals. recently, the drummer of the band has been a complete douche. in all fairness, he has much less time now, because his college course is more demanding, but the way he's being is not acceptable.

we now cannot practice after college, as he stays until half 6, and after then would be pointless for us, and on weekends, he insists on seeing his girlfriend rather than doing practices and, even worse, gigs.

whats worse is that he tends to ignore me and the bassist when we text him/talk to him on msn, facebook or myspace/phone him/go round to his house, which is a fair drive for both of us, only to find he's out.

should we just kick him out? because to be honest, he's not even that amazing, and he's messing us about so much. the only problem would be how to deal with kicking him out, as we have quite a few gigs lined up, with promotors that we've had to bail out on before due to him, so it could mean the end of us gigging in the local area, if they decide we're time wasters.

also, we have a smallish gig on the 2nd october (next friday), which he says he cant make, as his parents are away and he doesnt drive. both me and the bassist have offered to give him lifts, but he "doesnt want to put us out", even when we need him there for the gig...

if worst comes to worst, how should we deal with him not being there? not play with a drummer? make drum tracks/play through laptop? or get a replacement ASAP?

please help...

tl;dr...

my drummers an idiot and we're debating kicking him out. what should we do?

and

what should we do about being drummerless on friday?

regards,

Bryn
#2
kick him out for sure.. obviously he could give a **** less about your group.. why beat around the bush. start looking for a new drummer man. as for gigging.. id suggest putting of gigs until you can find a drummer that can commit to gigs.
#3
he sounds like he's playing silly buggers. You've gotta do your best to find a replacement drummer ASAP and kick this sucker out. He sounds like what I'd call a ****
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#4
all drummers are idiots, lol only joking
replace that bitch asap.
#5
Ok so you're annoyed because your drummer has other commitments in his life that he decides is more important than a band?
If you really don't like how he's acting then you should find another drummer and use him. To be honest it really doesn't sound like he's that committed to the band. You could always talk to him about how he's acting and try to work it out.

So I suggest you either talk to your drummer or you find a new drummer first and then kick your drummer out. If you kick out your current drummer with gigs lined up then that's not a good thing....
#7
talk to him - do you know any other drummers that would be willing to be a replacement? i know how hard drummers are to find, good luck dude
#8
I think your drummer doesn't interested in your band anymore,
just kick him out and find a replace asap
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#9
Quote by Hadoitz
I think your drummer doesn't interested in your band anymore,
just kick him out and find a replace asap


doesn't interested

update?
#10
i agree with a lot of you making comments about putting more important things first. but the least he could do is be honest with us. i said in the OP that he ignores me and the bassist when we try to contact him.

we could both understand if he told us that he couldnt do things in advance. rather than act clueless and pretend he doesnt know, when we tell him repeatedly.
#11
I'm in the same spot as your drummer. I have school until 4:30 and then driver's ed from 6:30-10:30. I also try to hang out with my girlfriend as much as I can. I TALKED to the rest of my band about it and we worked an agreement. Do that.

By the way, you don't need to text or IM your bandmates. I assume all of you are in college, so you have your own separate lives. Deal with it.
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#12
If he really won't talk to you, then I say start LOOKING for a new drummer and start teaching him your stuff just in case you have to get rid of him or he can't make a gig.
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#13
I don't think you really need help knowing what to do with your drummer. You can see that he can't commit to the band, it seems like he just doesn't have the balls to tell you.

As for gigs, letting promoters down doesn't do the band any good. So at the least get an acoustic set prepared, either adapt some of your songs, write some new songs, or find some songs to cover. Then tell the promoter that you are having problems with your drummer but you can still play an acoustic set. Even if the promoter is not happy about that, you can at least say that you tried. It shows that you have commitment even if something goes wrong and should keep you in promoters' good books.
#14
mm, you all have a lot of points, i guess i've thought of things in a pretty selfish way. i think its fair play to him, but the thing is, he doesnt communicate with us, and we often dont know whats going on with him, and its driving me mad, not knowing if he's gonna turn up for gigs. as for practice, he's always making up stupid excuses, like one time he said he was visting his dad in hospital, but as i was driving home after being let down, i saw him playing football on a patch of grass near his house. i wish i was joking.

the thing is, i can relate to his hard work, and having a girlfriend on top of that, because im doing the same thing, plus i do a few sports as well, but i still find time. the bassist is in full time work also, but we manage to find a bit of spare time for music. what i cant understand is why he's so reluctant to let us know the things we need to know.

i appriciate all posts, and im taking a lot of your ideas into account, as we've found a few drummers interested already, and we're going to have a bit of a jam with them all at some point, to find a possible replacement if things carry on the way they are. i also haqve an acoustic set that i can play at a moments notice, so thats not an issue, and its often a nice change of sound for the audience, but that leaves steve, the bassist, with nothing to do.

thanks for the advice guys, its been a great help.
#15
Quote by Stud_Muffin


i appriciate all posts, and im taking a lot of your ideas into account, as we've found a few drummers interested already, and we're going to have a bit of a jam with them all at some point, to find a possible replacement if things carry on the way they are. i also haqve an acoustic set that i can play at a moments notice, so thats not an issue, and its often a nice change of sound for the audience, but that leaves steve, the bassist, with nothing to do.

thanks for the advice guys, its been a great help.


Well if you are playing acoutically live then you are likely to be amplified, get him to play bass with you, it'll fill out the sound a bit.
#16
So there's a guy in your band, he doesn't come to practices, he doesn't gig, and he doesn't talk to you.

I don't think he's really in your band. If you kick him (which you should), he won't care.

To those who say he's putting more important things first - band practice should only take 2-3 hours out of your week. This is not much. If you want to be part of a band, you will be able to sacrifice this small amount.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#17
sounds to me like this guy is just begging you to ditch him rather than just come out of the closet and say he's gay and he doesn't want to be in the band, that his real passion is ballet.

...I meant some of that^

are you guys any good? honestly? maybe he thinks the band sucks and thinks you're going nowhere with it. hence, he wants nothing to do with it or is possibly embarrased by the thought of being associated with your music or you personally... one or the other, maybe?
Last edited by GrisKy at Sep 28, 2009,
#18
we are a decent band for our area, and to be honest, he is the least talented of the band. i've been playing for over 6 years, and the bassist is amazing for the 3 years he's been playing. the drummer is little better than average, so i doubt he's embarrassed to be in the band, and also, i've known him for about 2 years and we've been friends before we were in the band, so its not that.

me and the bassist have been discussing it today, and we've come to the conclusion that we need to confront him face to face about it, ask him if he wants to be in the band in person, and in the meantime, try out a few drummers on the quiet, just as a back up plan. the bassist is all for kicking him out, because he's got a much shorter temper than me, but i'm gonna see how the drummer feels first, to find out where the problem is.

might just be he doesnt want to tell us something important, but i'm gonna try my best to keep him happy with us, but at the end of the day, we need someone who is more committed and above all, honest with us.
#19
Quote by Stud_Muffin
we are a decent band for our area, and to be honest, he is the least talented of the band. i've been playing for over 6 years, and the bassist is amazing for the 3 years he's been playing. the drummer is little better than average, so i doubt he's embarrassed to be in the band, and also, i've known him for about 2 years and we've been friends before we were in the band, so its not that.

me and the bassist have been discussing it today, and we've come to the conclusion that we need to confront him face to face about it, ask him if he wants to be in the band in person, and in the meantime, try out a few drummers on the quiet, just as a back up plan. the bassist is all for kicking him out, because he's got a much shorter temper than me, but i'm gonna see how the drummer feels first, to find out where the problem is.

might just be he doesnt want to tell us something important, but i'm gonna try my best to keep him happy with us, but at the end of the day, we need someone who is more committed and above all, honest with us.



yea, I think you need to just straight up ask him if he's serious about the band and wants to be in it, if he says yes, then tell him he needs to get his shit together.

we were having similar problems with my singer for a while (except she isn't even going to school and doesn't have a job) and we finally told her that if she didn't get it together we'd have to let her go. and she ended up pulling out of it and is doing great now.


you may want to get some drummers on standby though.
#20
Kick the guy.


Acoustic gig.
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#21
No offense mate but if you said things like this

''I play quite a few instruments, a talent that a lot of people find interesting about me, and allow me to generalize myself as a string player, with added extras. I have been in bands playing: electric guitar, acoustic guitar, classical guitar, 12 string guitar, fretted bass, fretless bass, upright bass, cello, soprano ukulele, concert ukulele, tenor ukulele, baritone ukulele, 5 string banjo, tenor banjo, mandolin, mandola, octave mandola, irish bouzouki, violin, irish whistle, stylophone, piano/keyboard and drums/percussion''


Im surprised the band dont boot YOU out. Be more modest and dont try to boast that you play 20 instruments when you really play about 4 main ones (and i imagine you are no virtuoso if you play that many).
#22
Quote by lucertia.
No offense mate but if you said things like this

''I play quite a few instruments, a talent that a lot of people find interesting about me, and allow me to generalize myself as a string player, with added extras. I have been in bands playing: electric guitar, acoustic guitar, classical guitar, 12 string guitar, fretted bass, fretless bass, upright bass, cello, soprano ukulele, concert ukulele, tenor ukulele, baritone ukulele, 5 string banjo, tenor banjo, mandolin, mandola, octave mandola, irish bouzouki, violin, irish whistle, stylophone, piano/keyboard and drums/percussion''


Im surprised the band dont boot YOU out. Be more modest and dont try to boast that you play 20 instruments when you really play about 4 main ones (and i imagine you are no virtuoso if you play that many).



where did you see that?

...because that **** is ****ing hillarious!
#23
Quote by GrisKy
where did you see that?

...because that **** is ****ing hillarious!


on his profile page
#24
mm, i do admit to being a bit of a dick about that, but yeah, so what if i play all those instruments? i don't have an awful lot in life to be proud of, apart from my music, so forgive me if it seems like bragging. and yeah, i can play those instruments well, perhaps not virtuoisticly well, but i can guarantee you i own the majority of those instruments, and can rent the rest, and have also been in bands/orchestras playing most of them (other than the stupid ones, like stylophone).

and im sure by "no offense", you did mean to offend, as you brought up a completely irrelevant topic, ie, what it says on my profile about my music, to a situation where everyone else is being helpful and not trying to make a mockery of me.
#25
I once recorded a styrofoam take-out container wrapped in rubber bands. Does that count as an instrument? Oh, and dixie-cup bongos, I play those too.
#26
Quote by GrisKy
Oh, and dixie-cup bongos, I play those too.


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And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#27
Quote by AlanHB
They're called "telephones" in Australia.





then you're all probably better at them than me!