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#1
I make a motion to demand that all urinals around the world be revised to achieve a more optimal design.

There is a serious flaw in too many urinals everywhere today. The inside of a standard urinal consists of a smoothed porcelain which presumably is there to allow fluids to flow freely without splashing of any kind. However, many urinal designs seem to overlook the importance of a stream's initial contact. Too many urinals neglect to provide surfaces on which the stream can strike at an acute angle and thus minimize, or even completely eliminate, splashing. Many of those that do manage to provide such surfaces either render it useless by having the angled surface end abruptly (such as in rectangular urinals, in which the sharp angle formed by the sides and the back plate of the urinal create a critical splashing point), or simply are not generous enough in terms of the surface area of the optimally angled surface.

It might have been thought that one could just happily urinate with the aim directed squarely at a surface of the urinal nearly perpendicular to the flow of the stream, with but only minor splatter, but the problem can be amplified to terrifying degrees according to the urgency of the stream-letting. It is most definitely not fair to ask of the suffering individual to turn down the flow to avoid splashing because it is a matter of life and death.

Therefore, I insist that all new urinals henceforth be crafted with a well-rounded bowl shape to cut down on splashing from as many angles as possible. Sharp angles in the construction of the interior of the urinal should be banned. Any existing public restrooms containing urinals plagued with the aforementioned problem should be closed down immediately for adequate replacements.
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

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Last edited by vIsIbleNoIsE at Sep 28, 2009,
#3
You've got to ease in from the bottom. I know the initial burst is hard to control, but it takes time. It's an artform.

Also, please make a graph demonstrating the importance of accuracy to amount of beers consumed.

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Berserker.
#4
Hey mabye they're designed so we get the chance to piss all over the place, it's fun, why you gotta ruin it? >_>
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#5
i was somewhere yesterday where the urinals had headrests on the wall! when you do your urinal revolution i demand they have headrests!
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#6
They should make one where it looks like you're peeing into a big beer mug, and when you flush it lifts the mug and pours it into a mouth in the wall. When it's empty, it sets the mug down, then you hear a belch from the mouth. It's like you drink beer, piss in a mug, then a giant drinks your beer-piss. Fun for the whole family!
#9
i'd sign this petition if it was written in the snow.
.
..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#10
there's a urinal in shanghai in a really posh restaurant high up in a tower mounted into a glass wall...so your looking over the skyline unfolding before you while taking a piss. THATS what i call design. Dont know if its minimal-splatter designed though...will get onto that
*boots up solidworks*
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#11
Learn to aim.
Member of the official GB&C "Who to Listen to" list
Quote by handbanana
wiliscool is just plain dumb
#12
Quote by Greenie_777
I've never had a problem with backsplash.

Amateurs.


then you've never had to go really, really badly on a perpendicular surface.

i mean pee heartily for over twenty seconds straight badly.

you can't aim down because you're not tall enough, and if you aim to the side you'll only hit the sides and come out like a skater exits a halfpipe.
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
Last edited by vIsIbleNoIsE at Sep 28, 2009,
#13
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Same. People need to learn to take control of their dicks.

Maybe some people just don't have enough control surface on their pen0r?
#14
Seriously, you can't aim downwards?
Member of the official GB&C "Who to Listen to" list
Quote by handbanana
wiliscool is just plain dumb
#15
i will need some time to check your math, but you may have a point here.
#17
I can't go to a urinal without getting urine all over my shoes.
this needs to be adressed, for JUSTICE AND URINELESS SHOES!
??? Fund: cba to keep up with it.
will at least try when I get a jerb
੧_\\\

yours,

Alex (mcfreaki)
#18
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You've got to ease in from the bottom. I know the initial burst is hard to control, but it takes time. It's an artform.

Also, please make a graph demonstrating the importance of accuracy to amount of beers consumed.



Relevance of this Petition
|********
| *****
| ***
| **
| *
| *
|--------------------------------------------- Beers Consumed (in cans)

sorry for the poor quality.

it should reflect an inverted exponential decay...root decay...however you say it.

*wow this didn't work.
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
Last edited by vIsIbleNoIsE at Sep 28, 2009,
#19
Quote by Deliriumbassist
So anyone that ends up signing such a petition must have a tiny penis.

I have reached the same conclusion.
Member of the official GB&C "Who to Listen to" list
Quote by handbanana
wiliscool is just plain dumb
#21
Quote by Deliriumbassist
So anyone that ends up signing such a petition must have a tiny penis.

I wasn't going to put it quite like that, but since you have....


*signs petition*

#22
Quote by wiliscool
Seriously, you can't aim downwards?


alright, i didn't want to get all caught up in the details, but you asked again. of course you can aim downwards, but then you're left with the same halfpipe effect. unless you're using a kid's urinal, in which case the stream just splatters with abandon upon contact.
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#23
Quote by vIsIbleNoIsE
alright, i didn't want to get all caught up in the details, but you asked again. of course you can aim downwards, but then you're left with the same halfpipe effect. unless you're using a kid's urinal, in which case the stream just splatters with abandon upon contact.


Oh my god, it's a ****ing urinal for christ sake
"If I told you that, I'd have to kill you."
"Why is it like.. top secret?"
"No."

Last.fm
Last edited by Thrace at Sep 28, 2009,
#24
Wouldn't you want the stream to hit at an obtuse angle, therefore making the splash bounce off of the surface at an angle which isn't going to get your pants?

EDIT: Fuck me I'm retarded at almost 3AM. Disregard that.
maybe if you had a
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you'd
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#25
Quote by Thrace
Hey mabye they're designed so we get the chance to piss all over the place, it's fun, why you gotta ruin it? >_>

GEAR:

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#26
and ya know what else they must have? Borders. I could not believe it when I walked into a high school bathroom for the first time, and the urinals did not have any guards.

EDIT: And the facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=147118695333&ref=nf

And that link is spam or somethin, just tell me.
Quote by denfilade
For a moment I thought velcro shoes were ones with the whole bottom made of velcro

She could walk up your pubes with those

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this post has aids
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and 07'ers will always be well-respected members of UG society.
Last edited by bry0n at Sep 28, 2009,
#27
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Same. People need to learn to take control of their dicks.

Or grow bigger ones so they can stand further away. Or failing that, piss on the drain part of it first. It's a simple thing that saves splashing.
#28
Quote by bry0n
and ya know what else they must have? Borders. I could not believe it when I walked into a high school bathroom for the first time, and the urinals did not have any guards.


Then you simply follow the one urinal gap rule, and move onto the open door toilet stall technique if necessary.

Or you know, you could just get comfortable with people potentially looking at your dick.

And for crying out loud, kill at least 1 quote in your sig.
#29
Quote by Deliriumbassist
So anyone that ends up signing such a petition must have a tiny penis.


*drops pen and slowly walks away...*
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#31
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Then you simply follow the one urinal gap rule, and move onto the open door toilet stall technique if necessary.

Or you know, you could just get comfortable with people potentially looking at your dick.

And for crying out loud, kill at least 1 quote in your sig.

The one gap rule doesn't always work. You never say the person who just walked up to the one next to you, "leave on, man, come on." You never do that.

I can't get comfortable. My dick is to small.

And yea, I've been thinking about changing my sig back to two quotes.
Quote by denfilade
For a moment I thought velcro shoes were ones with the whole bottom made of velcro

She could walk up your pubes with those

Quote by kannon
this post has aids
Quote by NinjaSlayHuman
and 07'ers will always be well-respected members of UG society.
#32
Quote by bry0n
The one gap rule doesn't always work. You never say the person who just walked up to the one next to you, "leave on, man, come on." You never do that.

I can't get comfortable. My dick is to small.

And yea, I've been thinking about changing my sig back to two quotes.


he should do it. man rules nevar get broken
#33
Quote by bry0n
The one gap rule doesn't always work. You never say the person who just walked up to the one next to you, "leave on, man, come on." You never do that.

I can't get comfortable. My dick is to small.

And yea, I've been thinking about changing my sig back to two quotes.


That would violate the no talking rule. Those who do not observe the one urinal gap rule are relegated to man bitch. The only time it is acceptable is when all alternate urinals and the toilet stalls are filled, as waiting in the male restroom is strictly prohibited.

And just to note, I'm not being serious. Taking "man-laws" seriously is dumb and shows that someone is trying to compensate for their real life lack of manliness.

And try to be comfortable with your small dick. It's the only one you have!

Final point- please do It's not an official rule, but we do ask those woth big sigs to cut back, as they do break up the flow of the page.
#34
Quote by Deliriumbassist

Final point- please do It's not an official rule, but we do ask those woth big sigs to cut back, as they do break up the flow of the page.

i know it's not an official rule (though I know mods will do something if it's HUGE. I changed it because I know it is rather large, unlike my...
Quote by denfilade
For a moment I thought velcro shoes were ones with the whole bottom made of velcro

She could walk up your pubes with those

Quote by kannon
this post has aids
Quote by NinjaSlayHuman
and 07'ers will always be well-respected members of UG society.
#35
did you just get your penis yesterday? Just point it down
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#37
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Same. People need to learn to take control of their dicks.


Most of us wouldn't be here if people did that.
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Just move it around the fretboard
#38
I just aim at the little drain thing on the bottom. no splashback. also, quit trying to get inside the urinal. you're pissing in there!
#39
I don't like using Urinals. Too public for me. I prefer privacy. [ie, I can't pee if I know someone can hear me, etc.]

So, it's not a problem for me either way.
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Last edited by Simsimius at Sep 28, 2009,
#40
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Quote by Greenie_777

I've never had a problem with backsplash.

Amateurs.
Same. People need to learn to take control of their dicks.

Or simply sit down to piss. Being a lazy Slacker, that's exactly what I do and I too never have a problem with backsplash.
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