#1
Here's a different approach with a different scale. It ended up being more metal than core i guess, but that's ok since i was going for something different.

It's not done, this is just a teaser. Vocals will come by the end.
Attachments:
newwip.gp4
newwip.mid
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#2
Good job. It sounded really good. I really liked the verse 1 rif***e. Some of the riffs reminded me of power metal kinda.

One thing i didnt like in that was riff though was when you played open strings after the 13, 12 chord (don't know the proper chord names). The riff sounded quite upbeat and that change killed it a bit for me. Didn't like bridge, definitely does not fit imo.

Definitely finish it, i think it will be really good.
#3
Hellish nice intro.
I Also like the verse which is adding some speed.
The Transistion from bar 24 to 25 is poor indeed, you gotta work on it.
The change of speed doesn't really fit like that.

anyway, i really like the rest. =)
#4
I'm not a fan of metalcore but this is good. Sometimes when you jump from 200bpm to 150bpm and back (bridge and chorus), the transition sounds weak. Perhaps if you do something to bar 32, make both guitars slide down and slow down the tempo over the course of the bar. That would be good. I didn't enjoy the solo too much. It started off good, it ended good but the middle (bars 61-64) wasn't so great. Solos should have like a peak or climax of sorts where the tension is great and this solo sort of lacked it. Anyways, excellent song, do finish it.

Crit back?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1208677
#5
Pretty intense song yo.

The intro was cool, you took a typical cliched acoustic intro and made it somewhat original. The chorus was damned awesome, it just had this feel to it.

I don't really get a verse feel from Verse 1. It seems like a bridge, and the bridge seems like the real verse, just the way I'm imagining the vocals. Verse 2 is much cooler. I like the way you used the thirds.

Solo was decent. One thing about this sort of music I find is that the solos have to be AWESOME, and yours falls around the "pretty sweet" mark. The first four bars are great, keep them. The trem picking is done too much, reminds me of a BFMV solo, which is the one thing I hate about them. The triplets also seem weird, but I don't really know what to do with them.

The three notes is bar 66, harmonize them by thirds. The sweeping is awesome, but it needs a bit more climax in the end. I uploaded my own version of your solo, note the drum fill I added at the end of it.

Extend the solo a bit too, the whole thing seems to end abruptly.

Awesome stuff nonetheless dude, keep it up!

And if ya don't mind, check out a song I did plz (:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1176006
Attachments:
austyn-edit.gp4
has a terrible signature.
Last edited by Austyn6661 at Sep 30, 2009,
#6
Thanks for the crits guys . ^ Ill check out your song in a bit, btw the change to the solo was great. That was actually what i was looking for.

I updated it a little. I changed the "bridge" and added another part.
Attachments:
newwip3.gp4
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#7
Anyone? C4C?...
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#10
I liked the intro and the chorus/verse riff, nice chord progressions and melodies The trnasition to the bridge didnt work very well, same goes for the blastbeat.
Pretty much all your riffs are cool, only the bridge is quite a failure :/
The outro was very melodically but you used too many overdubs imho. The whole part just turns into a whole which can still sound good, but its a bit too much if you know what I mean.
The solo also was a bt boring, nothing special and generic phrasing.
I mean, everything starts on beat 1 use some ghost notes and slower bends to fresh things up a little bit.
Overall a great beginning, a song with a lot of potential. For me its a mix between melodic metal and metalcore. 8/10 'cause it's unfinished. I see no problems for a 9/10 here though.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1210639
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