#1
Here's a couple lines I've written, not a full song, so none of these "verses" are linked

1:
Where did it all go wrong?
What have I done
To offend every one?

2:
It's killing me to see this
But there is no purpose
In life's little games

3:
It's clear you don't want me
Perhaps you would be better off without me

4:
You were the angel in my nightmare
Yet. it all went no where
I see the wind blow you hair
My pain grows more and more

5:
When darkness takes over
Your false gods will not appear
To those that need them most

6:
I pick up the knife
Death seems the only way to fix
The horrible mess that is my life


Yes, I know most of that is bloody awful. Please give me constructive criticism, and any tips you think would be helpful.

Also, if its any help, I'm in to metalcore, though I know most of those sound really emo lol.
#2
I like number 4 the best out of all of them. Using personification and metaphors/similes are great ways to get great songs.

However when it all comes down to it, the best way to write songs is to use your emotions. Take how you're feeling, or how things have made you feel in the past, or even how you hope to feel in the future, and put it on paper and you can never go wrong.

Good luck, judging by what you've posted here I'm sensing a good songwriter
#3
Quote by Bandit Eagle
I like number 4 the best out of all of them. Using personification and metaphors/similes are great ways to get great songs.

However when it all comes down to it, the best way to write songs is to use your emotions. Take how you're feeling, or how things have made you feel in the past, or even how you hope to feel in the future, and put it on paper and you can never go wrong.

Good luck, judging by what you've posted here I'm sensing a good songwriter


Thanks

That's what I've been trying to TBH, but I have alot of crap goin on ATM, and never have the motivation to sit and try to write something, but I always write down any random lines like those ones down, unfortunately they're always "B'aaw, my life sucks" type lines lol.
#4
Quote by robhc
Thanks
unfortunately they're always "B'aaw, my life sucks" type lines lol.


That is what a ton of songs are about. Infact I think its safe to say 90% of songs are written with a member of the opposite gender in mind, or about how things have been going bad for the writer.
#5
Ya most songs are definately about something that ****ed someone which is all fine and good but me personally as a listener do not want to hear EMO type stuff unless it feels completely genuine and heartfelt so be sure what you write is in fact how you feel or else it will show.