#1
Wrote this a while back in two or three days. I'm unsure of what subgenre of death metal this would fall in but it sounds good to me. Crit away and I shall crit back.

EDIT: From now on, please disregard the original file and just download v2.

EDIT 2: From now on, please disregard the last edit, lol.
Attachments:
Death Metal v2.zip
Last edited by Limaj_daas at Aug 4, 2010,
#2
Is this your first song?..

Edit:

Reminds me of some death song, with that bar 29 etc.
Last edited by zezikaro at Sep 30, 2009,
#3
First song I've posted here. I've written several others, though different in style. And I do love Chuck's playing so it might have gotten in there.
Last edited by Limaj_daas at Sep 30, 2009,
#4
Hey, thanks for the crit.

First of all, for your genre, I'm not sure whether or not I'd call this death metal (although it does have it moments, especially all of Bridge 2 and the solo), not that it really matters.

Anyway, on to the music:

The drum intro's pretty cool; it's got a really nice groove to it. I love the dissonance between the two guitars. I can totally see the Death influence in the verse, really cool. Then the chorus comes in... wow, that was unexpected, but I like that you go back to the feel of the intro and it's quite catchy. The pre-verse does a good job of transitioning between the chorus and the verse, and bar 44 gives a good idea of what's to come in the solo section.

Everything from Bridge 2 to the Outro (bar 85 - 135) is definitely where this song shines. The fast harmonized riff is really neat; I like how you used the bass to make it a three-part harmony. Bridge 3 is perfectly placed, in my opinon, adding good dynamics and giving a good break from the blast-beats of Bridge 2 and the solo. I really liked how the solo just kind of jumps out and kicks you in the face, I seriously wasn't expecting it at all, but it fits very well with the song. The chorus then is a good outro, but i think you should take out the last two bars and just come to a sudden stop after harmonics.

Overall, it's an enjoyable listen, but the riffs are a tad bit generic (although I forgive this in aforementioned favorite section, because it's awesome).

If you have time, please check out my newest song:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=21818100#post21818100
Thanks
Last edited by thatchrisguy13 at Sep 30, 2009,
#5
The bass and drum intro was pretty cool. The riffs used throughout the song were nice, I didn't think they got boring. I think your song would sound really cool even if you kept it instrumental, because I didn't get bored of it or find it repetative. The solo was sweet man.

Nice work.
10/10
#6
I really like the intro in this song, sounds slightly familiar to me though, can't name the song I'm thinking of though, nonetheless, I like it alot!

The verse riff doesn't sound as heavy as I imagine death metal to be but it's pretty good. I say you should have a bit more rhythmic variation here like a heavy guitar fill or something.

The chorus riff is really catchy, definitely my favourite part of the song overall, I wouldn't change this at all.

The first bridge has a great groove to it but I find for a metal song, the lead filler licks kill the mood a bit, perhaps something more sinister sounding here would help with a buildup towards the solo. The second bridge didn't really appeal to me but it'll probably sound way better on an actual recording.

For the solo, it seems to lack a bit of direction, I got that chaotic feel from it, but something just seemed out of context about it, I was expecting a more evil sounding one but it was good for the chaotic feel.

Great use of the chorus riff for the outro, I love endings like that in songs!

Overall, I like it, pretty good, just a few parts that didn't catch my attention as much as the others but that's unavoidable in song writing

9/10
#7
Thanks for the crit on Evening Sunshine

This sort of music isnt really my scene - at least not for writing it ... but here goes.

Drum intro is cool - especially when the bass comes in. Not so sure about bar 7 but that may be GP making it sound different to the way it is played.

Verse: Good rhythm. The successive bends in bar 32 are cool. I bet they sound great when played for real. I felt that the slide from 10-12 eg in bar 21 was too high and sounded a bit squeaky.

Chorus: My favourite part of the song. Catchy is the wrong word - i just enjoyed hearing it! The harmonics at the end are good. No suggestions here.

Bridge 1: All good

Bridge 2: That would be hard to play I think - But i'm not that good so dont quote me!

Bridge 2.5: Same a Bridge 2

Bridge 3: Now we are back on track ... very sweet! I like the way you slowed it down from the earlier Bridges.

Solo: I didnt like the solo I'm afraid. It just sounded like a load of notes strung together really fast but without any feeling or real purpose to them. Bar 127 is better - slowing it down seems to let you get more feeling into the notes. This is only my opinion of course but I reckon you could improve the solo as it is the weakest part of the song.

Overall I would say 7.5/10. The drums and bass are excellent and the guitars make a great rhythm to the song but the solo lets you down a bit.
Quote by philjay
*Picks up TT like handbag and smacks you over the head like an angry granny *
Try that with your rocker 30


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#8
Sounds cool, reminds me of old school thrash mixed with metalcore.


Bar 23 sounds cool.

Bar 69 was pretty slick too, especially when it shifts it up at bar 77, tight!

Bar 93, lol

Bridge 3 was nice too, its missing something though, not sure what.

SICK solo btw, props if you can play it.

Nice transition back into that main riff after.

A solid 8/10 in my books.

crit my latest? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=21829086#post21829086
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#9
notes up my first listen:

i thought the first verse was dull. it didn't seem different than any other death metal riff ever made. consequently i was surprised when the solo came it because it was fantastic. and then it just got better. fantastic fantastic fantastic, then the verse again which takes away from the quality of the song as a whole. then i thought bridge 1, 2, and 2.5 were excellently written. and then bridge three comes again and it seems very uninspired. and then the solo, that was absolutely fantastic. i loved it.

i think if you try and spice up the verse and bridge three you'll have one heck of a song

8/10
wait what
#10
this song is awesome dude, the few things i didnt like are just my personal preferences, Bridge 2 seemed like it went nowhere. that was about it, i love the groove metal riff for the chorus. i think you can do a little better for the tiny verse licks, make a stronger message, it kinda seems like your hitting licks in random positions. other than thast oit was great, not sure if this is deathj metal though, this is really good.
Last edited by megagage at Oct 4, 2009,
#11
you definitely deserve another crit for what you did with my stuff...

It's solid. what more can I say? just a few little things here and there.

the intro is very good. it builds nicely. you might build it up a bit further before the verse. i'm not sure how as what you have is really a great length.

the verse smacks of your style. which is a good thing, as it's very distinctive to me. though, in bar 29, how are you going to slide a pinch harmonic? that's never worked very well for me.

in the two beats before the chorus, what if you tremolo picked it? that gradual bend would be really pronounced.

I like the chorus. it's heavy and has that punch and weight to it that it needs.

that pre-verse riff keeps seeming a bit random to me. not sure why...

that takes us through to the second bridge. I really like your harmonies once again... the picking of each note twice was a nice touch.

bridge 2.5 it was good. nothing to crit there.

you really like these multiple bridges don't you... bridge 3 was a nice break. it's good to rest for a few seconds...

before such a solo! dang... really saad? picking that fast is not a problem, but that sweeping is something else... I can't help you with that. your notes all sound good. major props bro.

I don't like the last two measures a whole lot. what if you held out the chord in the second to last measure and did a long decending run? I don't know how to use the tab function on here, but something maybe like:

all on the e string
19 22 20 22 19 17 19 20 19 20 19 17 15 17 19 20 19 17 15 14 15 17 15 17 15 14 12 14 15 14 12 14 15 14 12 10 12

as awkward as that is, something in that relative order with those notes. i'm really tired man, sorry if that doesn't make sense. but it makes sense now to me

cheers
#12
I really like that descending down the scale idea. I'll try it out. Pre-verse is just... I don't know, I didn't want to repeat the same thing twice without changing it first and the riff sounded cool to me :P Btw, the solo isn't all that hard... just the second last bar with the really really fast diminished sweep... yes that's hard. Very hard. A bit too hard for me actually :P. But I shall work my way to it. And I'm getting to Pt. 5 of your suite. I'm too busy playing games
#13
Crit as I listen:

I like the opening. The drums that is.

At first I thought the harmonics sounded odd, but ass I listened like five seconds later, they really grew on me. xD

I really like the pull off fill.

I also really like the chorus, really head bangable.

I really like the bass at Bridge 2. seems like it sould be fun to play.

Oh my god, I love the whole middle eastern/Egyptian part. I use those a lot when I am jamming to myself. xD

Solo was face ripping. xD

And the ending felt natural, like it really should end there.

Good job all together. ;3


c4c?


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22862000#post22862000
#14
Alright folks, I got tired of the amount of rehashing in the song so I edited it a bit. Plus, some people asked for an interesting verse so I think this would do the trick. Also, the bass is now much more active.
#15
You make some damn solid music sir.
I'd say this is some sort groove/thrash death hybrid, with the gauge leaning more towards thrash.
My only complaint is that while it's extremely solid, that very rigid structure doesn't leave much to the imagination. It's predictable, but not boring, if that makes sense.
That has to do with me wanting extreme experimentation, so I would take this with a grain of salt.
#16
Quote by huevos
You make some damn solid music sir.
I'd say this is some sort groove/thrash death hybrid, with the gauge leaning more towards thrash.
My only complaint is that while it's extremely solid, that very rigid structure doesn't leave much to the imagination. It's predictable, but not boring, if that makes sense.
That has to do with me wanting extreme experimentation, so I would take this with a grain of salt.

Thanks, that's quite a compliment as I enjoy your compositions quite a bit. I agree wholeheartedly about you being annoyed with the rigid structure. The song was written out about a year and a half ago back when I was into LoG, Trivium, Machine Head mainly and just starting to touch death metal. I later revisited the composition and it wasn't as good as my newer ones but it wasn't that bad either so I just sort of did what I could.

Personally though, I'm not such a big fan of it now . For what its worth though, it sounds awesome imo.
#17
It kind of had a Dream Theater/Death sound to it.

I liked it, Although I thought the structure was kinda odd, with the variations and such.

But a good song overall. Did you have any vocal style imagined for it?

Sorry its not much of a review, but its solid enough so Im unable to poke holes in it.