#1
well, tonight
the stars are gonna burst
and I can feel it in my arthritic bones
21 years has taken too long

feel this weight
of collective blasphemies
fall with the leaves as
average
kinetic
energy declines
and cold pulls the weight onto your bones

like an ice bath of sin, shivering and shriveled
shatter your kneecaps on the cold edge of the tub

it's too cold to stand up when
the wind blows and
you're bare and wet

teeth chatter
no one hears
solidarity
crawls through your skin

and it warms you
and it reminds you of home
#2
I enjoyed this. Good job.
Sorry that I don't have more to say.
I want Super Saiyan abilities
#3
The third stanza needs work i n my eyes. I don't like the first line because its about being cold, and the rest of the piece has enough of that. Maybe try changing that. Otherwise, great. I loved it
#4
I think the cold works because it runs through the whole piece....
I want Super Saiyan abilities