#1
i don't gasp for love no more
just something to grasp.
spitting corkscrews
and picking them from my teeth
while she's off painting palms with flour
i'm wishing she was here.
remembering days of
keepin' spent stoges behind our ears
and cheap pills in our pockets,
sneaking into liquor stores.
but, now i'm old enough to buy beer
and so separate from you.
someone to talk to
someone that feels
think of him and all that he steals
makes me sick that somehow you deal.
guess situations get twisted
guess i'm grasping for you
and here every heart feels shallow
guess who i'm comparing them to?
#2
Fantastic. Good to see a little less mystery and deception in your writing. Personally, I like something you can sink your teeth into, with just enough mystery for spice.
#3
Interesting piece; I like it. Just wondering, is this based off of a real situation, or did you make this up?

C4C? The link in my sig needs crits.
#5
Quote by herby190
Interesting piece; I like it. Just wondering, is this based off of a real situation, or did you make this up?

C4C? The link in my sig needs crits.


it is about my friend from Pennsylvania that I left when I came to California, hopefully the platonic nature of the relationship came across..

i'll try and get back to your guys' pieces, but i'm going to the beach for two days with my gurrrl