#1
This is a song I wrote the morning after a crazy party night. I met this girl with bright blue eyes and I got an idea in my head and just went from there.

It may be hard to get the rhythm down, but it does flow believe it or not lol

My Bad Habit (Those Eyes)

Verse 1:

you sip your drink
ever so softly
I don't know how
you could ever be so coy
you slip the look
oh how you give me the eyes

Pre-chorus 1

I don't know where
to go from here
everything used to
always be clear
now i'm lost
and all I see are those eyes

Chorus

You're my bad habit
with those glistening eyes
I feel your hand on my leg
and your breath on mine
you turn me on
oh you turn us on
girl don't be shy
just go along

Verse 2

We go upstairs
with no-one around us
you slip
out of your clothes
drag me closer
and slide up against me
oh what a night

Pre-chorus 2

I feel my heart racing
pounding through my chest
why is this such a rush
light or not
all i see are those eyes


then it's back to chorus and some type of bridge (i'm not sure if i want some lyrics or just keep the bridge instrumental). Thats i got for now. constructive criticism is welcome =]
#2
Quote by mbrfan
This is a song I wrote the morning after a crazy party night. I met this girl with bright blue eyes and I got an idea in my head and just went from there.

It may be hard to get the rhythm down, but it does flow believe it or not lol

My Bad Habit (Those Eyes)

Verse 1:

you sip your drink
ever so softly
I don't know how
you could ever be so coy
you slip the look
oh how you give me the eyes
I like this verse. Opens the song well. I definitely feel some rhythm in there.

Pre-chorus 1

I don't know where
to go from here
everything used to
always be clear
now i'm lost
and all I see are those eyes
The lines "everything used to always be clear" are unoriginal. Other than that, pretty good.

Chorus

You're my bad habit
with those glistening eyes
I feel your hand on my leg
and your breath on mine
you turn me on
oh you turn us on
girl don't be shy
just go along
I really like the chorus, but for the word "glistening." Just personal taste I suppose.

Verse 2

We go upstairs
with no-one around us
you slip
out of your clothes
drag me closer
and slide up against me
oh what a night
Predictable direction to take, and not executed with any originality. Not liking this verse.

Pre-chorus 2

I feel my heart racing
pounding through my chest
why is this such a rush
light or not
all i see are those eyes
I like this part a bit. Not as good as some of the other parts, but it works.


then it's back to chorus and some type of bridge (i'm not sure if i want some lyrics or just keep the bridge instrumental). Thats i got for now. constructive criticism is welcome =]


I enjoyed reading it for the most part. As I said, I don't really like the second verse, but that's my opinion. The rest was good, chorus was great. Needs a bit of work, but it has potential.