#1
Ok, so I re-recorded this old song because the old one sounded like poo. This one sounds slightly better. It's in my profile, and it's called Wings of Fire (take 2)

I suggest using good headphones or AT LEAST using good speakers IN STEREO.

I'll post the lyrics just so you can imagine how it'll sound with vocals (screamed of course)


(0:38-0:54)
if you can make it i will be there waiting
to take your hand and take to the skies
leaving behind the ground beneath us
flying above this world of lies
and as we soar on wings of fire
well set this wicked world ablaze
laughing in eachothers arms
well be together for the rest of days

(0:54-1:08)
keep me awake
keep me alive
dont let me
close my eyes
lend me your strength
show me your heart
dont let me
fall apart

(1:08-1:23)
ive made it here and i am waiting
to take your hand and take to the skies
to leave behind the ground beneath us
to fly above this world of lies
i hope to soar with you forever
and set this wicked world ablaze
to laugh and smile in your embrace
with you i wish to spend my days

(1:23-1:37)
never asleep
eyes are open
the reapers gaze
stays unbroken
questioning if
i shall fail
should i tread
on deaths tral?

(1:37-1:52)
ive been here but you never came
and i alone cannot fly
shall i lay below the ground beneath me
defeated by this world of lies?
my heart is cold but this fire burns
my soul will set this world ablaze
wreaking havoc as my revenge
before i end my
days (hold)

(2:22-2:51)
this world has betrayed me
too many times
this life has only
corroded my mind
these people have told me
too many lies
the look in your eyes
will be my demise



Any comments are appreciated, especially constructive criticism. C4C and thanks in advance.
#2
I has some questions :P

Those are midi drums amirite? How did you get them into the recording? I'm assuming you exported from guitar pro or whatever program you use and imported into something else. I use audacity and it gives me an error when I try to play midi. Help meh?

P.S. I like it
#3
I like it, just not a big fan of the chorus. Doesn't really fit with the rest of the song in my opinion.
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#4
The problem for me with this style of metal is that it tends to lack momentum in the song structure. Lately, metalcore has become increasingly reliant on poly rhythms; and this really begins to make the song feel pointless. That is the problem with this song. There are good qualities and bad qualities to it, however it just feels kind of bland because there is hardly any movement or riffs worth remembering. The part at 1:40 was the best of this song, and unfortunately those moments were few and far between. In a lot of ways this song is just a lot of technical noise. Theres no real melody or purpose for these notes going together. I would suggest reworking it to add some additional, more memorable riffs. If you lace them between the poly rhythms.

Dont take this as overly harsh. I think its a decent composition, but being an average composition doesn't really make it memorable.
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#5
Quote by P1ayingW1thF1re
I has some questions :P

Those are midi drums amirite? How did you get them into the recording? I'm assuming you exported from guitar pro or whatever program you use and imported into something else. I use audacity and it gives me an error when I try to play midi. Help meh?

P.S. I like it
Yep, those are midi. I used Guitar Pro, yes, but I always got the same problem you had with Audacity. So what I did was export as WAV from Guitar Pro by plugging one end of a line in cord into the headphone jack and the other end into the mic jack and recording out that way.

And thanks, man
Quote by asfastasdark
I like it, just not a big fan of the chorus. Doesn't really fit with the rest of the song in my opinion.

Well, which parts are you defining as the choruses? It's kinda backwards the way I made it, I had the first chorus come before the first verse, so we may be getting things switched. To me, the fast parts are the choruses while the slow parts are the verses.

EDIT:
Quote by Ulalume
The problem for me with this style of metal is that it tends to lack momentum in the song structure. Lately, metalcore has become increasingly reliant on poly rhythms; and this really begins to make the song feel pointless. That is the problem with this song. There are good qualities and bad qualities to it, however it just feels kind of bland because there is hardly any movement or riffs worth remembering. The part at 1:40 was the best of this song, and unfortunately those moments were few and far between. In a lot of ways this song is just a lot of technical noise. Theres no real melody or purpose for these notes going together. I would suggest reworking it to add some additional, more memorable riffs. If you lace them between the poly rhythms.

Dont take this as overly harsh. I think its a decent composition, but being an average composition doesn't really make it memorable.

Is there a way to put that into laymen's terms?
Last edited by jetfuel495 at Oct 1, 2009,
#6
I have a friend that's into metalcore he calls it hardcore, but anyways... your riffs sound like the same things he spews when he improvises on guitar. I'm not a fan.
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