#1
" We say that the earth is dying, and we need to do something...
but the question is... For what price do we actually want to do something? "


The earth is damaged, and the fire burns on the soil.
We've taken everything for granted, Our hopes is all gone.
So come and take my hand, and let's sing along.
Because we all know, this is a wonderful ****ing song.
It's about people that doesn't care.
And all the corrupted politicans, what intrest do we share?
We say we want to do something, but we still don't care?
Is this really the way we thank God for we exist?

This is revolution!(No way!)
This is progress!(I have to say that I ****ing disagree!)
Let's sing along, HO!

All we want is some peace and prosperity.
But we don't really give a **** about solidarity.
All we do is go around and complain all day.
But if we don't want to do anything,
Then I really think we are the ones to blame.
Let's get together, our brothers and sisters.
Let us cast away the lies that have led us!
In to this horrible hell of dispear!
The politicans won't do anything anyway,
They just want us to be their wares!

Come on, for god's sake, we must do something...
We need to react and fight back...
Come on, Let's take our trust and make the politicans fail...
The responsibility is ours and we are really the one to blame...
#3
doesn't suck in the slightest.
tho i dont think you need the profanities, tho i guess it would depend on what genre your planning for this.
good work.
#5
Quote by Dark_Knight94

Because we all know, this is a wonderful ****ing song.
It's about people that doesn't care.
And all the corrupted politicans, what intrest do we share?
We say we want to do something, but we still don't care?

All we want is some peace and prosperity.
But we don't really give a **** about solidarity.
All we do is go around and complain all day.


These lines are good, and the rest is ****. Write some new lyrics with these as a basis, fix the spelling and grammar, and you'll have some great lyrics.
#7
I think the first verse was great, the chorus was kinda mehh and the second verse was OK but didnt had the amazingness of the first one

C4C
#8
A lot of problems with Grammar, and a lot of correct grammar that was just sloppily thrown together.

But what i think about the lyrics : Too cleshay to even be considered decent... I'm sorry but it really is man.
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#9
Err... To be honest, I don't really like it. It just sounds so cliché. Well, that's just my opinion at least.

Just remember, the important thing is too keep on trying and keep on writing.
Beau, oui, comme Bowie
Last edited by TaV0 at Oct 2, 2009,
#10
K. But with the cliché thing, really, what? Seriously... What's so cliché about this? I haven't really seen many songs written like this, and I always try to keep a good flow in my song. But I guess I have to keep trying
#11
The way you're saying things isn't always cliché, but the whole subject matter is very cliché. The problem with this is, because what you're saying has been said so many times before, you need to be able to say it in an original way for it to be remotely interesting. Here, all you're doing is just telling us, point blank, everything. It's too preachy, too harsh, too direct. What made bands like RATM powerful was the fact that they made strong political statements, but in a unique way. Tom's guitar work aside, the lyrics focused more on using powerful emotive imagery to drive the point, only using certain direct lines to deliver the power punch. Here, it's like you're thrashing us to death with your point, there's no light and shade, no contrast, no build. It's just rapid fire, "The world is dying, it's your fault, do something". Show me how and why the world is dying, show me what i can do about it, and then save the direct punches for choruses, hooks and bridges. And remember, sometimes less is more. You might find it easier, just while you're starting out, to write about slightly easier subjects. Even the best writers struggles to write powerful political pieces. More than anything, just keep writing.