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#1
My girlfriend and I have been going out for 10 months now. We are both 17 and seniors in high school and both virgins. To give a little background, my dad is a sex addict (as well as the many addictions) and for the past couple years, he has been free of his addictions. I know, and my family knows, how sex can mess people up sometimes, especially at such a young age. I do love my girlfriend and I love spending time with her but the problem is, I don't want to have sex. She wants to have sex and has been waiting for it for so long. Her friends are beginning to have sex with their boyfriends and now she is all jealous about it. She thinks I don't love her, my decision is immature (like seriously, wtf?!), and that I do not want to commit to her.

The reason why I don't want to have sex is mainly because it is so risky. First of all, pregnancy is always an issue. I know that birth control is available but there is always a chance, a very slim chance, but a chance nonetheless and I would just not like to worry about it.

Secondly, I feel like she would get too attached to me. This would be fine if I absolutely knew that I would marry this woman but I am 17. I really don't know what I want, although I might think I do, and I just want to live my life, not worrying about how I haven't called her in 7 minutes.

Thirdly, I don't want to end up like my dad. He just disrespects women and I don't want any part of it. Therefore, I feel like I am making a respectful choice, my girlfriend is not flattered.

Are my ideas completely bogus? Is a girlfriend worth sacrificing morals? I thought I was making a very very very mature decision, but she claims I am immature and don't want a real adult relationship.

Now the whole point of this thread is to see what you guys think about sex at an age so young. Have you ever been corrupted by it? Is it worth it?
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#3
You're 17. Sex really isn't a big deal. 17 is a good age to lose it, especially since you say you love her. You're worried about her getting too attached, but its not like once you have sex you have to marry her. It'll probably make you guys a lot closer, too. If you really love her, you should just do it. It's not like you're holding out on her for religious reasons.
#4
She should respect your choices
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#6
Go for it
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#7
pics of said girlfriend?


and might as well have sex for the hoots.
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#9
Because everyone knows as soon as you have sex you become a sexist with 10 babies and herpes.
#10
There's a difference between having sex with someone you care deeply about and disrespecting women and manipulating them. 17 is a perfectly reasonably age to lose your virginity, most people lose it around then, if not before, and rarely to someone they care about that much. In my opinion, as long as she's comfortable with it, go for it. Be safe
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#11
you have the right idea in mind. you've got a good head on your shoulders from what i read here. it IS better off to sacrifice a girlfriend than to get into that sort of stuff. sex, like a lot of things, is VERY addictive. stay away from it until you get married! i've never had sex, but i am a christian who knows right from wrong.

Ryan Wiesen
#13
if you want to do it, go for it

if you dont, then don't.

but the fact your already saying to yourself "i dont want to turn out like my dad" is a pretty tell tale sign that you're not going to. your gonna want to have sex in your life at some point. don't hold back and cheat your gf out a trip to poundtown because your scared of what might happen, even though it seems like your stable and smart enough not to.

/dr phil rant

EDIT: its totally worth it
Last edited by rkmad at Oct 2, 2009,
#14
Quote by lildude_6859
you have the right idea in mind. you've got a good head on your shoulders from what i read here. it IS better off to sacrifice a girlfriend than to get into that sort of stuff. sex, like a lot of things, is VERY addictive. stay away from it until you get married! i've never had sex, but i am a christian who knows right from wrong.

Ryan Wiesen

are you for real?
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#16
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Go for it

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#18
Quote by rkmad
if you want to do it, go for it

if you dont, then don't.

but the fact your already saying to yourself "i dont want to turn out like my dad" is a pretty tell tale sign that you're not going to. your gonna want to have sex in your life at some point. don't hold back and cheat your gf out a trip to poundtown because your scared of what might happen, even though it seems like your stable and smart enough not to.

/dr phil rant


Since when does Dr. Phil use the word "Poundtown"?

#19
All this "Sex is bad, causes pregnancy" Is BULL****. Dont worry about it, Use a condom and do it if your ok with it.
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#20
Your decision man. You're the one that's got to look at yourself in the mirror. You do what you feel comfy with.
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#21
Man, relax! I'm sure you'll think different after a good night having sex. If you don't myself and the pit will raise a fund to buy you a ticket to return to the planet Zoclepia.

EDIT: Also, there's a 0.0001% that you'll become a sex addict. I wouldn't worry about that since your morals are uncorrupted and righteous.
Last edited by The_Casinator at Oct 2, 2009,
#23
You have good morals, do what you want to do. If she can be presurred into such things then that's a bad thing - sooner or later she will realise you're right.

But ya know, sex is sex! (:P)

Why not try doing acts of a sexual nature first instead of going straight into sex itself, that's better anyway, actual sex is boring, well depending on the girl you're with ofcourse :P
#24
Don't let your dad's negative actions deprive you from having fun. You are your own man, that can clearly make decisions.

You're young, enjoy the sex dude.
#25
That girl doesn't know what she has and quite frankly, I think she's an idiot and possibly *****y. I'm sorry, she just sounds stupid.

My girlfriend and I had sex and there was a mishap somehow where the condom slipped off and I came in her, she wasn't on the pill. My friend got a morning after pill and we decided to wait as long as we could and you know what? We've grown closer. We still fool around but don't have sex. When we had sex we felt much closer but it was because of the thing we shared. We're genuinely close now and when we have sex it will mean much more.

You're girlfriend is the immature one. She's letting the crowd dictate what she does and she's getting mad at someone who loves her enough to go without. Tell her what you think and if she's still acting childish then forget her. Tons of girls would kill for an attitude like that. And that's because they've had sex and it really isn't that big of a deal.
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#26
Quote by WlCmToTheJungle
the whole point of this thread is to see what you guys think about sex at an age so young. Have you ever been corrupted by it? Is it worth it?

I know people who've been going at it since they were 14. Whenever i was 14 i got some oral action. Thats it though. I say go for it, if you want to. Dont go doing it for other people. But also id say..


STOP BEING A PUSSY.
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#27
dude, i give you props., but if you truly love someone then they will wait for you or you will wait for them. If she wants to and you dont tell her that its just that your not ready. she should respect your dicision. best of luck to ya
#28
If you don't want to you don't want to, and she should respect that.

That said, it sounds like you don't want to for some of the wrong reasons. Your dad sounds like he has a naturally addictive personality, which you may not. You can't live your whole life based on what he did or didn't do. I understand taking lessons from him, but this is different.

But as long as you don't make that or fear that your girlfriend will get too attached (you can talk to her if that happens, you know) be your main choice, it's your choice, and she should respect it.

That said, Relationship Thread is that way.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#29
Quote by severed-metal
Since when does Dr. Phil use the word "Poundtown"?




I lol'd

Ontopic:
I think that you should do it when you feel ready, but I also think you shouldn't be afraid of sex. It's not a bad thing at all. It's the main reason you, me and all of the world lives right now:P
#30
I think you should wait till your comfortable. Sex is alot like drugs and drinking, it can be alot of fun, and it can wind up ruining your life. I think your a pretty awesome dude to be able to say you don't want to, and to wait even when your girlfriend wants to.
Sex is a big deal, and so far as I'm concerned if your going to start having sex now, without being married, why would you want to marry her? So that you have to share everything you have with her? To go through all kinds of relationship trouble later on?
I think sex should wait for marriage, for more than just religious reasons, it's because it is an integral part of an intimate relationship, which is something you don't seem to see in this relationship yet.
I don't know what you believe, or want, but it sounds like you would much rather just hang out with this girl and enjoy her company. I've been dating someone for 2 and a half years and we haven't had sex.
As much fun as it may be I think it is pretty irresponsible, and if it's not what you want is more or less lying to her.

Long story short, I think sex outside of marriage or serious relationships is immature and doesn't really amount to anything other than a good time. If you don't think your up for it, and don't feel that attached to her, or feel attached enough you don't want to treat her like a fun little toy, then you should wait...
#31
She should respect your decision. Show you love her in other way. If she can't accept that you do not want to have sex with her yet, you both need to move on. You could be with someone more mature and she could find someone more willing to sleep with her.
#32
people spend waaaaaaaay too much time trying to fight their natural urges. Just talk with her about it and see how badly she wants to. If you spend your whole life trying to avoid sex it has just as much control over you as if you were spending your whole life addicted to it
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#33
Quote by lildude_6859
you have the right idea in mind. you've got a good head on your shoulders from what i read here. it IS better off to sacrifice a girlfriend than to get into that sort of stuff. sex, like a lot of things, is VERY addictive. stay away from it until you get married! i've never had sex, but i am a christian who knows right from wrong.

Ryan Wiesen



+1000000000000000

It's way smarter not to give in, sex isn't the greatest thing, even if you love her alot of bad things can happen. If she doesnt respect your opinion then somethings wrong. It is the more responsible and mature thing to not have sex.
#34
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#35
"I smell epic fail"

But seriously bud, I don't know becuase usually it's the other way around. Just don't let her do the laundry.
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#36
in the words of chef.

"theres a time and a place to have sex children, 17."
"you mean 17 if your in love?"
"nope, just 17"
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
#37
Quote by hawttieblonde69
She should respect your decision. Show you love her in other way. If she can't accept that you do not want to have sex with her yet, you both need to move on. You could be with someone more mature and she could find someone more willing to sleep with her.

If you need a volunteer.......
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#38
if you dont want to, dont do it. dont give in to her if youre not ok with it. i decided not to have sex until im married, and i expect any girl im with to respect that. my current girlfriend would definitely have sex with me if i wanted to, but i dont, and she is ok with it and we are very happy.
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#39
This is stupid. I mean, you don't want to have sex, it's your choice, fine... But I think you're making a big deal of this for the wrong reasons.

Do you wake up everyday and think "OMG, I can't go out! What if I get run by a focking truck?!"? You're always taking risks, man. Don't be a pussy about it.

Also, the fact that you're having sex (or doing anything that your father does too) doesn't mean that you're going to be like him. You have the power to make the damn choices, grow up a little bit.

As for an advice, just take it easy, and ask yourself if you're up to it or not. If not, well, then that's a considerable reason not to do it. Think for yourself.
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#40
Quote by lildude_6859
you have the right idea in mind. you've got a good head on your shoulders from what i read here. it IS better off to sacrifice a girlfriend than to get into that sort of stuff. sex, like a lot of things, is VERY addictive. stay away from it until you get married! i've never had sex, but i am a christian who knows right from wrong.

Ryan Wiesen

Well I'm just a heretical idiot who knows nothing of your godly morals.

In actuality I act much better than most Christians I know but I don't want to turn this in to a religious debate.

I just noticed something which I bolded. This person is definitely informed and you should totally listen to them.

I don't think sex should be put off until marriage since clicking sexually is part of the relationship. Waiting until a serious relationship that has a possibility of marriage or just a serious relationship is fine in my opinion. My girlfriend and I had sex too early in our opinion so we're trying to correct it a little. If you love someone, waiting a little never hurts.
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