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#1
I had an idea about a thread like this for a while.

Just earlier today I meant to say a friend had a "Jealous face", but instead said "Jellyface". Of course, I felt like an idiot.

Later in class, my teacher asked my neighbor what the smallest form of life is called, and he doubled the fail rate with the most hilarious answer:

"Um, wouldn't that be orgasm?"




Start the fail quotes.
GTFO my sig
#2
I want to **** Chuck.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#3
meow....
Quote by angusfan16
I got my sister pregnant once. Yeah, that was awkward, but mostly because she's 6 years younger than me.
#4
n*gger
RIP Bernie Mac
RIP Michael Jackson

FUCK YOU DIME!

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Get 'Cliff is Angry. So so angry' on your ass.

Edit: Then take pictures and send me them.



Genetically engineered and raised by wolverines DAVE MUSTAINE...
#5
You're a ****ing dumb *****. I mean....

But really, I have said some ridiculously embarrassing things because I worded them wrong. I can't remember though, probably because I blocked them out.
Last edited by Tire Me. at Oct 2, 2009,
#6
I had sex with your sister, your mom, and your best friend at the same time, i jizzed all over all of them.
[HARLEY-DAVIDSON]



When the world slips you a Jerffrey...

Stroke the furry walls.
stroke the furry walls.
#7
Quote by Tire Me.
You're a ****ing dumb *****. I mean....

Let me guess.

To your homeboy.

What you meant to say: "You're f*cking a dumb b*tch."

What you said was: "You're a f*cking dumb b*tch."


Makes sense.
GTFO my sig
#8
I sometimes have "Brian Regan" moments where I'll go to say something and something else pops out of my mouth simultaneously.
Quote by brandon369852
lolworthy- classicrockboy WIN of thread.
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
~ Jimi Hendrix

UG Backing Track Band
UG Rock Opera
Check out my songs for it

Currently e-single. Hit me up ladies
#9
"And then guess what i'll do to your corpse..."
Like punk the way it used to be? Deranged Youth Its like what Warped Tour should be!

Want to hear something mind-blowing? Pit O' Bodies Its like an amateur hypnotist plus the Spanish Inquisition!
#11
some black guy was on the bus and he was like why is everyone inturrupting me today

i said coz your black when i was supposed to say no one likes you
IAMREALLYCOOL
#12
My friend said this to a girl in class while she was doing some paperwork thingy:

Friend #1: You're pretty good with handjobs.
Friend #2: she's good with handjobs aye?
Friend #1: I mean, you're good with doing things with your hands
Friend #2 starts laughing
Friend #1: uh, nevermind *looks down on the table in shame*
#13
in Spanish Class I was asked where I excercised (in Spanish) my response was "en el baño" or "in the bathroom". "Hey everyone i "excercise" in the bathroom!" lulz were had
#14
My mate got orgasm and organism mixed up year before last, so in the story we had to write, the hero was being attacked by an army of small orgasms, needless to say the teacher wasn't too impressed, she gave him dirty looks all year
Last edited by Hp312 at Oct 2, 2009,
#15
Quote by Hp312
My mate got orgasm and organism mixed up year before last, so in the story we had to right, the hero was being attacked by an army of small orgasms, needless to say the teacher wasn't too impressed, she gave him dirty looks all year

'dirty', looks?
Jackson DXMG -> Vai Morley Wah -> Korg Black Tuner -> (Need a delay) -> Maxon OD808 -> BBE Sonic Maximizer -> ISP Noisegate -> Mesa Boogie Mark IV
#19
In the Black metal forum I accidentally worded this thing wrong. I said that cob got me interested in real black metal but what i meant to say was that the closest thing i listen to black metal is COB and that I want to get into black metal.
e-married to Jack (bladez)
#20
Quote by Hp312
My mate got orgasm and organism mixed up year before last, so in the story we had to write, the hero was being attacked by an army of small orgasms, needless to say the teacher wasn't too impressed, she gave him dirty looks all year
That's hilarious!

"being attacked by an army of small orgasms."

That sounds like the greatest thing ever.
Only play what you hear. If you don’t hear anything, don’t play anything.
-Chick Corea
#21
I asked a friend how a date went with some girl, his response was, "she blew me off."


I laughed for hours, he didn't think it was very funny.
#22
I took my girl out to dinner a while ago. I meant to ask her to pass the ketchup, but instead I said "you b*tch, you're ruined my life"
Quote by Geldin
Junior's usually at least a little terse, but he knows his stuff. I've always read his posts in a grouchy grandfather voice, a grouchy grandfather with a huge stiffy for alternate picking.
Besides that, he's right this time. As usual.
#23
I was helping a black girl move some things into the back of her car at school, and I noticed she had a group of ferns in the back. Stupidly I said, "Building your own little jungle back there huh?"

needless to say my foot was in my mouth
Schecter Hellraiser C7 w/ BKPs
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Boss Noise Suppressor
Ibanez TS9
Boss Tuner
Morley Tremonti Wah


"From My Rotting Body, Flowers Shall Grow, And I Am In Them, And That Is Eternity"
#24
'Aw cmon honey, your not that fat.'

That didn't go over well.
love is love // return to dust
#25
Today a Friend yelled out "It hurts" and My reply was "Thats what she said"
Then a few moments she said "Hahaha, I'm choking, give me a minute. K now I'm clear"
Quote by Royal Celebi
Not allowed to whip out my dick in the middle of class. Ludicrous.

Quote by ratracekid111
Is that even Possible?!?!?

Quote by ilovepepsi
can i go blind by eating purple
#26
You could visit your fanny planner...

Oops, i ment your family planner.
"Been Dazed And Confused For So0 LoNg ItZ n0T Tru3"

Fender LoneStar Strat.
Peavy VYPYR.
#27
Quote by velocigecko
I had sex with your sister, your mom, and your best friend at the same time, i jizzed all over all of them.
I feel ya bro. Happens to me all the time.
Quote by Stormx
I tremble before your enormous penis.
Quote by molala2
and i farted, it was really stink
Quote by italiarlz135
Led Pepplin, you are god because of this thread.
Quote by josh999x, Brick23


#28
Thanks, I pride myself on my proficiency with balls.

Yes, in Norwegian it means the same thing as it does in English. I was being sarcastic, but apparently that wasn't the funny bit


S t a i r s s r i a t S

#30
Me: Yeah, they were sitting right in front of the ammonia, so they started feeling sick.
Friend: Wait...ammonia....isn't that like...a disease?
Me: No, you're thinking of Pneumonia...

Needless to say, I've never let him forget it.
Tonight, we stagger out from the basement...


I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.

...Or fall to our deaths from above
#31
Today in town with some religious guy, sikh i think, discussing the bus routes to my brother I accidently said "Yea, it goes through all those terrorist houses" instead of "Yea, it goes through all those terrace houses"
#32
Wake up and smell the chicken.

The black girl next to me didn't find it as funny as I did.


Four Year Strong Plays in D Standard. Not Drop D.
Quote by Ed Hunter

I just slapped the computer screen with my dick because of this thread.
#33
I word things wrong all the time. Most of them just wouldn't make any sense out of context

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#34
Girl: "I can't believe he didn't ask me out."

Me: "Maybe you're not as attractive as you think you are."

In front of about 30 people. I'm so ashamed.
Top 5 Rush Songs:
1. La Villa Strangiato
2. Natural Science
3. The Main Monkey Business
4. Vital Signs
5. Subdivisions



Complete Atomic Basie by Count Basie.


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#35
Quote by Junior#1
I took my girl out to dinner a while ago. I meant to ask her to pass the ketchup, but instead I said "you b*tch, you're ruined my life"


My uncle says that joke all the time

"A man and his wife are sitting at the dinner table, the man goes to ask his wife to pass the salt but instead he says, "You bitch, you ruined my life."
Quote by blackenedktulu
CFH82, I love you. I didn't laugh, but my god, I love you.

Quote by Zero-Hartman
Holy shit, that was epic. A mighty roar escapeth'd my mouth.

Quote by WyvernOmega
I saw a penis.

last.fm
#36
I once said in class "That seems like a shitty premise if you ask me sir" When I meant to say shifty.
#37
There's some little fair that comes to our town twice a year and everyone goes to it. We were watching some chicks hanging from a cloth doing crazy bends and stuff. One of them did something nuts and I said "oh baby!" and I looked like a pervert because they were wearing tights and I didn't mean it like that.
Last edited by batman187 at Oct 2, 2009,
#38
wasn't me that said it. but i was walking to the bus with my friend (male) and we thought we might miss it, so he said "go out with me" instead of "go on without me"
#39
We watched a film today in RE about crime and we saw a bit that showed some kids destroying a shed. I couldn't think of a verb when asked to explain what happened in the video, so I said ''The kids assaulted the shed''.
The whole class laughed at my stupidity


Quote by Spoonman69
Rap is music,far better than metal for example. id much rather hear about hoes and anal sex than dragons and supressed homosexuality.
#40
once at lunch me and my friends were talking about stuff in sports i think it was basketball.

Me: I suck cock (chokes a little on slice of bread)... takes atleast 10 seconds for me to recover.... at basketball. they bugged me all year about sucking wang...

Quote by jimmyled
You have a Badger Song avatar!!!!!

Quote by Oprah
VAJAYJAY


Monkey Ball Sack

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