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#1
Scariest ****ing thing in my life.

I'm just sitting here in my chair, feelin a medium sized fart coming. I lean slightly to the side, and let it out. At the same time, a little tiny ball of poo fell out and plopped right underneath my ass onto my boxers.

Instant reaction was "WTF!?!?!?!?!"

Seriously. So i stand up all awkward like and walk to the bathroom in a half sitting-half standing position to keep the little ball of **** in my boxers so it doesnt go ****ing up the carpet. I get in, take off my shoes, and then jeans, then hover over the toilet as my little piece of **** plops onto the toilet seat and bounces into the toilet bowl, spraying water all over my ass.

By then I am completely mortified, thanking whatever-the-****-is-up-there that nobody is home.

I clean myself up, look down, and its like a ****ing brown rock man. Perfectly spherical too! (Did I lay a ****ing egg?)

After a quick change, i hop onto my chair again, prepared to tell the world(Pit) of my adventure.

So, has anyone else in the Pit ever sharted? Was it as scary as mine? Were you in public? (lol)

inb4 "Cool story bro/brah"

tl;dr - read it. it's an epic story that is worth your time

edit: i flushed it in disgust, so no pics. sorry
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
Last edited by GODhimself37 at Oct 3, 2009,
#3
drugs are bad mmmkay.
Gear:
Aria lawsuit V
epiphone E-310 strat copy
peavey vypyr 15
boss blues driver II
Kramer striker 100st (invader pickup)
Randall RG50tc

EHX Metal Muff
#6
Quote by rmr024
Are you serious?



100% dude.
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#7
Yeah, I've done it. Luckily I was at home like you, and not on the bus or something.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#9


I'm so immature, I was rofling through the whole story.
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#13

toasting in epic bread.
HELLEDIT:
Quote by walkinbazooka
Yeah, I've done it. Luckily I was at home like you, and not on the bus or something.

my friend said he was on the bus and he saw a guy go like and run off the bus at the next stop holding his ass
Quote by NotFromANUS
"Don't brutal your sister, Timmy!"


last.fm
Last edited by Helloween4Ever at Oct 3, 2009,
#14
Never done that before, my friend did it at school in 4th grade...
Quote by ThinLizzyFan
I love you



Who's in a bunker?
Who's in a bunker?
Women and children first
And the children first
And the children
#15
pics?
Quote by DirtyMakik
Listen to this man, he's got Alex in his avatar, he knows his sh!t.

Quote by dubstar92
awesome avatar dude




Wow a signature
#16
New Union Jake, anybody?


Quote by CoreysMonster

I still like cho0onger more than the 2 of you

Quote by OneHappyCamper
joke's on you, i actually fuck my cat
#19
I've done that at least 10 times before. Seriously.


Sending a dummy to my God.

Sending a dummy to my God.


Sending a dummy to my God.


Sending a dummy to my God.
#21
I hate to say, I have done it before. Not for a long while, but yeah, horrible.

Quite warm though.
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#22
a poop story made me laugh, your a special breed of ideot

Just Kidding
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


Quote by ilikepirates
ilikeyou.

not hated
#24
Quote by domino_92
Photographic evidence or no such occurrence.



Sorry i flushed it in disgust.

But i swear on my 3rd ban it happened lol


edit:

love you too Tire Me.
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
Last edited by GODhimself37 at Oct 3, 2009,
#26
One rainy night, I decided to lay on my couch and watch Good Burger on cable. At some point in the first half hour, I was laughing so hard that I sharted. I could tell it was horrible and I knew I should clean it up right away. Then I remembered that I had never seen Good Burger before, so I continued to watch.

About 2/3 of the way into the movie, my cable went out. So now I'm on my couch alone in a dark room about 30 feet from the nearest bathroom. I tried to stand up, but I realized if I did, there wouldn't just be sh*t in my pants. So I did what any logical person would do in my situation—I rolled off the couch and dragged myself to the bathroom.

Ah…good times
At the Justice Tour:
Guy in audience: Libertyville represent!
Tom Morello: Yes. Libertyville…represent.

Quote by IDread
Damn. You got insanely lucky when it comes to manly surnames.

Ai æm eɪ prəpoʊnənt ʌv eɪ kəmplitli fənɛtɪk ælfəbɛt. Spɛl ɛvriθɪŋ wɪθ ðə AɪPiEɪ.
#27
Quote by ZAxel
One rainy night, I decided to lay on my couch and watch Good Burger on cable. At some point in the first half hour, I was laughing so hard that I sharted. I could tell it was horrible and I knew I should clean it up right away. Then I remembered that I had never seen Good Burger before, so I continued to watch.

About 2/3 of the way into the movie, my cable went out. So now I'm on my couch alone in a dark room about 30 feet from the nearest bathroom. I tried to stand up, but I realized if I did, there wouldn't just be sh*t in my pants. So I did what any logical person would do in my situation—I rolled off the couch and dragged myself to the bathroom.

Ah…good times



If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#29
I sharted when I was 9 or so. I forgot all about until now
Time keeps on slipping...


Quote by skaterskagg1
AtomicPunk7 is uncreative.
#30
Keep this thread alive. Share my story lol
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#31
What the fuck? Did you shit a marble?
Quote by Wulphy
Being a Republican should be a handicap.
#32
Quote by Eliyahu
What the fuck? Did you shit a marble?



maybe... it was brown and had **** laced about its in a cool looking way like they do marbles... i don't remember eating one though lol
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#33
Quote by GODhimself37
maybe... it was brown and had **** laced about its in a cool looking way like they do marbles... i don't remember eating one though lol

Do you buy lunch at school? If so, you never know what you ate.
Quote by Wulphy
Being a Republican should be a handicap.
#34
You realize someday when you apply for a job, they're going to do a background check on you and find this, right?


Many lulz will be had.

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#35
Quote by ZAxel
One rainy night, I decided to lay on my couch and watch Good Burger on cable. At some point in the first half hour, I was laughing so hard that I sharted. I could tell it was horrible and I knew I should clean it up right away. Then I remembered that I had never seen Good Burger before, so I continued to watch.

About 2/3 of the way into the movie, my cable went out. So now I'm on my couch alone in a dark room about 30 feet from the nearest bathroom. I tried to stand up, but I realized if I did, there wouldn't just be sh*t in my pants. So I did what any logical person would do in my situation—I rolled off the couch and dragged myself to the bathroom.

Ah…good times


my friend once told me a story that's extremely similar to that one. he was sitting on his couch once, watching good burger as well, when he had to take a ****. since he is such a huge good burger fan and did not want to miss any of it he took a **** on his couch. his reasoning was that his parents were getting rid of the couch the next day and watching good burger all they way through, even if there is a pile of **** right next to you, is worth it.
#36
Quote by Eliyahu
Do you buy lunch at school? If so, you never know what you ate.



Well i had chinese today
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#37
First off, pics or it didn't happen .

One time in 7th grade, I was walking home from football practice and I sharted. It was hell.
#38
Quote by lobster624
my friend once told me a story that's extremely similar to that one. he was sitting on his couch once, watching good burger as well, when he had to take a ****. since he is such a huge good burger fan and did not want to miss any of it he took a **** on his couch. his reasoning was that his parents were getting rid of the couch the next day and watching good burger all they way through, even if there is a pile of **** right next to you, is worth it.




Theory: Good Burger causes bowel movements.
At the Justice Tour:
Guy in audience: Libertyville represent!
Tom Morello: Yes. Libertyville…represent.

Quote by IDread
Damn. You got insanely lucky when it comes to manly surnames.

Ai æm eɪ prəpoʊnənt ʌv eɪ kəmplitli fənɛtɪk ælfəbɛt. Spɛl ɛvriθɪŋ wɪθ ðə AɪPiEɪ.
#40
One time I was sick and in the bathroom at 1 AM throwing up into the toilet, on my knees. As I was releasing an especially large vomit, at the exact same time it came out, I blasted a huge shart ruining my favorite boxers. FML.
Quote by Wulphy
Being a Republican should be a handicap.
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