#1
This is the second song I ever wrote lyrics for. It still needs works like my other one I posted but, I'd just like to get a second opinion. I don't really know where to go from here.

With ones sense of creativity, they can accomplish
An infinite number of the most detailed portraits
Lets learn from what the aspired artists can create
With a pen, and a blank white canvas staring them in the face

Paying very close attention to detail, and fixing every minor mistake
If you can imagine, it’s not the simplest of tasks
But self-loathing won’t create that piece any quicker
Focused and committed, the artists work will be complete

Even the simplest forms of art, can accompany tremendous outcomes
With dedication comes great reward, a rule of thumb to follow
Don’t hold back your inner self, let the depth of your character show
The aspired artists shows the true beauty of what art really means
#2
I feel that this reads way too much like an instructional or inspirational video. it doesn't seem to flow like a song, but feels more like a rant of some sort. It's a good topic to write about, but you should try to approach it with less of a mechanical feel, use less extreme literal phrasing, and try to say it in less words.
#3
I disagree, i think everything is perfectly fine with this song.. its just the way he typed it out that makes it appear less poetic...here try this..

With ones sense of creativity,
they can accomplish
An infinite number
of the most detailed portraits.
Lets learn from what
the aspired artists can create.
With a pen,
and a blank white canvas
staring them in the face.

Paying very close attention
to detail,
and fixing every minor mistake
If you can imagine,
it’s not the simplest of tasks
But self-loathing won’t create
that piece any quicker.
Focused and committed,
the artists work will be
complete

Even the simplest forms of art,
can accompany tremendous outcomes
With dedication comes great reward,
a rule of thumb to follow
Don’t hold back your inner self,
let the depth of your character show
The aspired artists shows
the true beauty of what art
really means.