#1
lyrics.


waking up to a choleric breeze
breathing down the window pane,
i offered sadness to the sickly trees
and to a sky colored insane.

now my skin is a violent shade,
all the lesser gods will get their way
when we speak of brighter days.


the birds were weeping on the ground,
their wings were porous and bent.
dizzied by all the sights and sounds
on to the south they went.

and god is complacent.
do i agree?
he's done more than he's ever done before
but none was done for me.
here, My Dear, here it is
#2
WOW, that was incredible. I really enjoyed reading that. It flows really nicely and has beautiful descriptions, especially "i offered sadness to the sickly trees
and to a sky colored insane."
"Kezia, my darling, please never forget, this world's got the substance of a frozen summer silhouette," Said my mother through lips that were cracked with love and toil before she added, "the warmest of blankets is six feet of soil."
#3
I dislike the word "porous" and I hate when there are questions in writing like you have done.

Other than that, great writing for lyrics. They are enjoyable to read by themselves, which is something I like in lyrics.

I'd like to hear it recorded. I just have to ask, what genre is this?

Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#4
I would record it except I've never really gotten around to getting a mic or anything. If I do get the necessary stuff for it, I'll definitely record it. as far as the genre, it's alternative and acoustic, inspired by listening to ray lamontagne if that offers any insight.

thanks for the read, both of you guys
here, My Dear, here it is
#5
I really enjoy your songs because, like your writing, you have a strong poetic voice, without getting weighed down in the metaphors.
#6
thank you very much. i see you've posted a new piece, i'll get to that as soon as i can.
here, My Dear, here it is
#7
This was pretty neat. Part of me initially didn't like the rhyming at first, but then I re-read it and realized that it all works pretty well. It is a simple rhyme scheme, but the material is well written enough to allow it to work here. I thought the ending was great also.