#1
It's interesting when the only time I can seem to write is when I have mountains of schoolwork to do. Procrastination to the very end! I had an idea for the first time in awhile, so I had to write something.

Hours and hours of miles and markers,
Kerouac made it seem much more fun.
Of course he never hit the road
across Northern Ontario.
No Denver, no California
or promised land of Mexico.
Just endless trees, towns
few and far between.
Brief glimpses of life beyond
Beardmore, Lake Nipigon.
A solitary highway driving
through Manitoba prairie,
stark Saskatchewan.

4000 miles from sea to sea.
Two attractive coastlines,
not much in between.
A lonely cross country road
without a visible end.
Just hours and hours
of miles and markers.
Oh, to be on the road again
#2
I really liked this. You captured a stark image of a country side in very few lines, yet had a strong enough tone for it to not feel like fluffy description. I liked the whole road trip thing with a twist.
#4
Very nice read, you captured the barrenness of the King's Highway beautifully. There was a very smooth flow to it and the repetition summed it up into a nice tight finish.

And just to nit pick for the sake of it, isn't it over 4500 miles?
Quote by richwatkinson
haha You pwned an entire website....i bow down...

TheDudeBox
#5
It's actually about 7250km or 4500 miles (research!) but that doesn't sound as nice when it's written down. "Four thousand five hundred" sounds gross and too big (syllable wise).

EDIT: Btw, the King's Highways is the name for the entire system of highways in Ontario(including the 400's, and every number from 2 to whatever) not the Trans Canada, which is just known as simply that.
Last edited by rush4life at Oct 6, 2009,
#6
Yeah there's not much I can say here other than there was a very smooth, easy-going flow to it (especially in the second stanza). I wasn't tripped up in any one place with is a credit to you given the multi-syllablic places you mentioned in the piece (Manitoba, Saskatchewan, etc.) The ending brought a lot of closure to the piece and I think the rhyming served you well.

As far as suggestions: I truly can't think of a single one and I don't wanna force myself to nit-pick if I don't believe there's anything to nit-pick. It was a great read and it had a certain character to it that I think would get lost if there was major editing done.

Great job!
here, My Dear, here it is
#7
Quote by rush4life
It's actually about 7250km or 4500 miles (research!) but that doesn't sound as nice when it's written down. "Four thousand five hundred" sounds gross and too big (syllable wise).

EDIT: Btw, the King's Highways is the name for the entire system of highways in Ontario(including the 400's, and every number from 2 to whatever) not the Trans Canada, which is just known as simply that.


My mistake, I've always referred to the 11 as that since it's Ontario's "one road"
Quote by richwatkinson
haha You pwned an entire website....i bow down...

TheDudeBox