#1
this is a harder song... verse one is screamed, same with the bridge. the rest is singing though

Verse 1 -

This is the part when you exit this place

Just leave me alone, get out of my face

Before i lose my mind

You look so good, yet i see your true form

I cast you aside, its time for reform

You'll get yours in due time

Chorus -

Oh i thought it was so easy controlling my thoughts

But i cant think straight

Oh God help me now, before all i know comes crashing down

Verse 2 -

Do you find it shallow, the way you spread these lies?

Do you find any shame, in the way you let others die?

Im so sick of this

Chorus again

Bridge -

I cant do this anymore

I lay it all on the floor

I need something better then this

Outro -

I dont know how i got here

But im begging for a way out

I dont want to forget myself

So i make a promise here and now
#2
Overall these are fairly good. A solid effort. Personally, I think verse two is the best part. Yet it is also very short, so I think you should lengthen that out. I feel the same for the rest of it, too brief. Brief but strong, so if it's a short song it works out fine.
#4
Quote by The Elf Kicker
Overall these are fairly good. A solid effort. Personally, I think verse two is the best part. Yet it is also very short, so I think you should lengthen that out. I feel the same for the rest of it, too brief. Brief but strong, so if it's a short song it works out fine.

it seems short on paper... i know. it works with the music though. i was going for a strong, rebuking tone.
Quote by ASJerrell
Dude... your band is amazing.

AMAZING.

thanks man.
#5
I like your band. Solid tunes. However, these lyrics are very unoriginal. Lyrics that don't keep the listener's interest can kill a musically sound song in just the same way that astounding lyrics can make a simple song a masterpiece.
They aren't terrible, in fact they're fairly well written, but I feel like I've heard this song a hundred times before.
I like the parts that are screamed the best. Verse 2 is weak sauce in my opinion.

So those are my thoughts, would you mind looking at a song I wrote? It's meant to be played somewhat in your band's style of music.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1207981

It challenges your beliefs more than a little bit but please don't let that affect your judgment.
I want Super Saiyan abilities
#6
i can totally see those lyrics being a pantera song heck ya man
I tried to make a signature listing all my gear, but I couldn't for 2 reasons.

1. I couldn't remember all my gear
2. My signature was too long for UG to process.
#7
Nice man
A Celebration For The Death Of Man...

Quote by Madison Perella

Thats not even sensible I base myself like this I like power I don't understand emotion. Knowledge is key and fire pokemon own.