Poll: Have you been massage raped?
Poll Options
View poll results: Have you been massage raped?
Yes. It haunts me to this day.
11 20%
No, I would never allow that to happen to myself.
8 15%
I would prefer not to comment, as that is a very personal question.
9 16%
What?
27 49%
Voters: 55.
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#1
12:30 PM.
You've just gotten off of work at the coal mine, breaking your back to provide a swiftly dwindling power source for "the man".



Sooty, sweaty, and weary to the bone, you struggle out of your reinforced steel-toes and throw yourself face down on the faded 70s futon that dominates your 200 square foot studio. Mice scurry in the walls, and a repeat of Friends is on thanks to your "doting" girlfriend.

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way...cha cha cha cha..." bores into your mind as your girl emerges from the miniscule bathroom, the stench of an overfull litter box wafting after her. She smiles, and sits delicately on the edge of the futon, offers a trite greeting, and hums along to that horrendous "song".
Suddenly, ice cold hands have snuck under your gritty wifebeater, pressing into your torn and sprained muscles. You try to wriggle away, mutter how you just want to sleep. And you've earned it, too, breaking your back so that whore can buy more imitation Dulce and Gabbana purses out the trunk of some crackhead's Skylark.



She won't stop. She grinds deeper and deeper, causing you to emit ungodly groans, emasculating sounds that bring a girly pink flush to your weathered face. Too tired to struggle, all you can do is submit to this torture, forced to endure over and hour of her "helping you out". It's a vicious cycle you cannot break out of, a never ending event that strips you of manhood and pride, leaving you supple and vulnerable to future attacks.



Massage rape. It's happened to us all. This violation needs to end. Fellow victims, we must unite as one against this atrocious act! We will not lie down and take it anymore! Even our children, our babies, have fallen to this disgusting trend!



Masseuses and masseurs are criminals. Join me in putting a stop to this abomination! Free America/all those other countries from the tyranny that is massage!!!
Last edited by MakinLattes at Oct 6, 2009,
#2
I'm 12 and what is this?
Gear:
'50s National Archtop
Squier Classic Vibe '60s Tele
Squier Affinity Strat
Gibson Melody Maker
Vox AC-15
50s Stella Parlor Acoustic

MOAR FIRST ACT
I was there
#4
I love a good massage...
This space has been intentionally left blank.
#5
Jackson DXMG -> Vai Morley Wah -> Korg Black Tuner -> (Need a delay) -> Maxon OD808 -> BBE Sonic Maximizer -> ISP Noisegate -> Mesa Boogie Mark IV
#11
I don't see what you would reportinate this^ haha.

Although, i don't understand. I would shut friends off, pick up a guitar and tell her to do a good job while i play. If not, simply dump. her, that is.

And then take a dump, cuz you're a MAN
#12
Quote by Altitudinous
I don't see what you would reportinate this^ haha.

Although, i don't understand. I would shut friends off, pick up a guitar and tell her to do a good job while i play. If not, simply dump. her, that is.

And then take a dump, cuz you're a MAN

...What the fuck?
#13
Quote by stepco12345
That was great.

Glad you're back (again).


this is not a laughing matter! this...this...EVIL!...is not excusable. I will not stand on the sidelines as my fellow humans are betrayed by loved ones and professionals in such a personal way.
#15
Quote by MakinLattes
stench of an overfull litter box wafting after her. She sits delicately on the edge of the futon

you talkin bout a girl or a cat bro?
#16
massages are awesome, what are you talking about. a massage is welcome at ANY time of day


Quote by hide_the_beer

Wat.




huh?
#19
Quote by ilikeguitar90
I'm 12 and what is this?


shouldn't be in the pit, young whipper Snapper!
#20
щ(˚Д˚щ
WTFISTHISSHIT
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#25
I enjoy a nice massage every once in a while, as long as it has a "happy ending" if you know what i mean...
Warning: The above post may contain lethal levels of radiation, sharp objects and sexiness.
Proceed with extreme caution!
#26
Quote by huevos


EDIT:
Why the hell would I be working at a coal mine?
I just can't seem to wrap my head around that one.


feel free to insert your career of choice. it was a mere example to illustrate how widespread this problem is.
#28
Quote by justinb904
I enjoy a nice massage every once in a while, as long as it has a "happy ending" if you know what i mean...


milk and cookies, a bedtime story and getting tucked in?
#29
BTW,


Quote by MakinLattes
12:30 PM.
You've just _________ at ____, breaking _____ to _____ a ______ for "the man".

Sooty, sweaty, and weary to the bone, you __________ and _____ yourself face down on the _______ that ______ your 200 square foot studio. Mice ________, and a _____ of ______ is on thanks to your "doting" ______.

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way...cha cha cha cha..." ____ into your ____ as your ____ ____ from the miniscule ______, the _____ of a(n) _____ ______ ______ after her. She smiles, and ____ delicately on the edge of the futon, offers a ______, and hums along to that horrendous "song".
Suddenly, _____ have snuck under your gritty ______, pressing into your torn and sprained _____. You try to ____ away, mutter how you just want to ____. And you've earned it, too, _____ your ____ so that whore can ___ more imitation _____ out the ___ of some ______'s _____.


She won't ____. She ____ deeper and deeper, causing you to ____ ungodly ____, emasculating ____ that bring a ___ pink ___ to your _____ ____. Too tired to _____, all you can do is _____ to this _____, forced to endure over and hour of her "_______". It's a vicious cycle you cannot break out of, a never ending event that ____ you of _____ and ____, leaving you _____ and ______ to future ______.


Massage ____. It's happened to us all. This _____ needs to ____. Fellow _____, we must ____ as one against this _____ act! We will not lie down and take it anymore! Even our children, our babies, have fallen to this disgusting trend!


Masseuses and masseurs are ____. Join me in ____ a ____ __ this _____! Free America/all those other countries from the tyranny that is ______!!!



Go.
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#30
Quote by Daffodil Lament


Edit:


That baby is being felt up!

And he seems to like it...hmmm...

This gives me...ideas...
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#32
Quote by jetfuel495
Gunpowder fucks baby rocks too?


Gunpowder fucks everything that moves and most things that don't.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#34
Gunpowder fucks everything that moves and most things that don't.


then you can enact vigilante justice on all the massage rapists. I trust you carry at least one STI?
#38
i dont get it. are you saying that you dont like having a massage after a long, hard day of work? maybe itd be necessary to talk before youre exhausted and lay some ground rules down regarding the degree of massage received?

if youre talking about massages in general, then idk what to tell you. massages are awesome when done right.
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