#1
This is one of my first songs I've written that I thought was good enough to be put on here, Please post any criticism you have, I will appreciate it even if its harsh. This songs pretty short, I probably could add more to it but I'd like to see how I'm doing first.
~~~~~
The Absence

I could hear the waves,
As they crashed around me.
And I could taste the sky,
as it fell around me.

Frequent flashes of light,
My skin was shed as I fell through the tear,
Watching the earth from flight,
Absence of air.

The eye watches,
Beckons me,
Kneeling at the altar,
Awaiting the approval.

I could hear the waves,
As they crashed around me.
I could taste the sky,
As it fell around me.
#3
wow thats pretty good. although to me it sounds more like a poem than a song. but still its good.
#4
Theres a band called The Absence? never heard of it,.

Yeah it does haha. But I figure if I put music behind it it would be alright.