As far as I know, this hasn't been done. So the deal is to post things that you've actually said, but it just came out wrong. Good examples that happen to me are random dyslexia moments or times that I've changed my mind on what I was going to say, mid-sentence.

For me, I've said:

"The march go ants-ing, one by one..."


"I'm going to wipe your ass!"

There's a story behind that one, but the Pit will have to wait, I'm going to sleep.
Currently Looking For:
NES: Zelda (Gold Cart), Metroid, Ninja Turtles Series
N64: Mario 64, Majora's Mask, Harvest Moon
Some kid in my econ class the other day, talking about someone getting hit in the head with a ball
"He got hit in the ball with a head"
Took the class a few seconds to realize what just happened
has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
sim simma

who got the keys to my beema
dude, searchbar the use before posting.
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You have a Badger Song avatar!!!!!

Quote by Oprah

Monkey Ball Sack

One time when commenting on the length of people's intestines I said " Don't you have like 50 feet of testicles." I sat and thought for a second as my sexy teacher turned red and then I realized what I had said.
Originally posted by arrrgg
When my grandpa comes over to visit, after his shower, he walks around naked to dry off
When I was asking for make-up work in school, I started it off with "I wasn't here tomorrow.."
Confusion ensued....
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I was looking at a friend of mines baby that was just born and I said "He's younger than me"

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nexteyenate you win
Hayden says:
but can't really tell on you thoug I haven't been staring at your hair recently haha
Hayden says:
well, ever ahaha

That just sucked right there

EDIT: Connor says:
Ahaa, aww what a let down, I stare at your hair all the time lol

Wat (girl btw)
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You are god, floppypick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
Last edited by floppypick at Oct 6, 2009,
"So I'm turning 18, what should we do bro to celebrate?"

(long silence while the 2 brothers think of things to do)

"You 2 could have sex!"

18 = legal

wasn't that mandatory awkward phase so much FUN!?
Mesa Single Rectifier
Marshall 1960A vintage
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Big Baby Taylor Acoustic
Ibanez TS808
while playing a game with a friend where we call dibs on passing cars i pointed to an ambulance and said "dibs on the lobster." was a WTF moment
Is your name Mike? Do you want to be everyone's friend? Do you look similar to lots of other people? If so click here

Quote by LesPaulLeader08

Fucking win S&R!
I said organasm instead of organism.

I said it slow in my mind before I said it outloud.. and as I said it in my mind.. Oar Guh..
I confuzzled myself and just said it. Oar Guh nah zum.

i giggled.
Slack Babbath....I'm pretty sure that's someone's username

EDIT: ^ This girl in my class was reading aloud to the class out of the science textbook and said "orgasm" instead of "organism"
E-Married to Eddie4President


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Ya, my mom walked in on me taking a **** into my coffee mug when I was 23. There was a spider in the bathroom and I was too scared to go in

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I'll join. I have a vagina.
Last edited by ironmaidengirl3 at Oct 6, 2009,
Mr. Krabs...do you how do?

I anything can't do right since because pickles.

In a room full of my grandparents and a bunch of old family friends. I mentioned the word old and my uncle asked me what my definition of old was. I said "Old enough to collect retirement" like 90% of them were past that age...
I came home one day, proud as hell with myself and proceeded to announce to my whole family that I got a boner at work that day.

What I actually got was a bonus in my pay for that week.
Aww thanks Sugarpiss...to my boss
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
We were pulling into my grandparents drivewar, and I asked if their home. My sister go "um yeah, cant you see all the houses in the light on?" To this day I can no longer comprehend simple math anymore.
Quote by chaoticfables
Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

Reminds mo of that ad:

"Good afterble Constanoon!"

Kiwi's will understand.
Albums I Must Obtain
Call me Paul. I prefer that.
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I think you're my soulmate
Occifer i swear to drunk im not god

Tell me why I had to be a powerslave
I dont wanna die, Im a god, why cant I live on?
When the life giver dies, all around is laid to waste.
And in my last hour,
Im a slave to the power of death

Member Of The Jagermeister Fan Club
Quote by reb_49
Aww thanks Sugarpiss...to my boss

If I had a drink in my mouth when I read this, there would be liquid all over my computer screen, most likely some would've seeped down into the surge protector behind the desk, and I'd probably have been electrocuted to death.

Do you want to do with me? (asking girl to homecoming)

WHOA MAN YOUR TOTALLY HARD (supposed to be hardcore, i stopped for some reason)
don't know about Freudian Slips, but I drop a mixed up thing from time to time

Meaningful Song Lyrics
Inside my signature
Make me look deep
And misunderstood

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Out of context hilarious quote!

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Out of context compliment!

My Gear:
Awesome Shit
Cool Shit
Shitty Shit

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while playing a game with a friend where we call dibs on passing cars i pointed to an ambulance and said "dibs on the lobster." was a WTF moment

no idea why that made me laugh.
Quote by B4Dkarma
When you look at a guy and immediately go, "wow, what a douchebag"

that is what girls find attractive.