#1
we are going to the theater today, as soon as olivia gets dressed that is. her bedroom door is cracked and i can see her in the vanity mirror above the dresser contemplating every outfit she has. i'm sitting on the couch currently drinking blue moon wondering if we'll make it to the matinee showing. it doesn't really matter to me, she managed to pick another movie i'd happily not see. its more so the process of 'going out' on the town that appeals to me. walking out of our apartment complex then a block to our parking garage, driving past the bums clinging to their bicycle racks, all the parking meters begging politely for change, the townsfolk who nod and say hello because they have nothing better to say. its all of this that really makes me excited to go to the theater. i could care less about the actors. i'm sure they feel the same way about going to the theater to act as i do going to the theater to watch them act. everyone just wants to see what everyone who isn't them is doing on a partly cloudy thursday afternoon.
i ask olivia if she's almost done and she answers with a 'no'. i tell her i'm going to the gas station real quick to get some cigarettes as she tries on her low cut blue and red dress. down the stairs i go. i forgot to ask her if she wanted anything so i just get her a coke and some chewing gum. what other kind of gum is there though? besides the kind you chew that is? i've always wondered this. not really, but just now i did.
on the way back from the station i see nothing in particular, i forgot my glasses and i ran into a fire extinguisher that i thought was a red blinking 'don't walk' sign. isn't it funny how streetlights dictate when we are and when we aren't to cross?
no?
not really at all?
yeah,
no,
sorry,
you're right.
its really not that funny at all.
#2
Your tone is always very human in each piece, relateable to the point where unnecessary rambles still draw me in an make the climax more poignant.

Things that stuck out enough to bother nagging about:
- red and blue dress... it's a clear image for you I'm sure but it comes out as a very awkward image in my head. It might just be me but 'low cut dress' seems sufficient without drawing to much attention to that one certain point.
- conversation at the end could be more concise... a few 'yeah's and 'no's is enough to get the tone and point across
- "she managed to pick another movie i'd happily not see" the wording of this reads oddly

Description of the town and actors really helped characterize the particular feeling trying to be put forth. Very very enjoyable read as usual.
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#4
You and Nick are my favourite vignette writers on this forum. You always connect with the reader at a very real, very human level and that's what makes me enjoy your work so much. Thank you for continuing to post here.
#5
thank you as always for your kindness. im reading parts of your stories now and i have to say i'm quite impressed. if theres anything in particular youd like me to read let me know.
#6
The Ocean's my most recent, but really, just read and (hopefully) enjoy what you like.
#7
I actually really enjoyed this. the descriptions painted a really clear picture of everything going on. Also, the rambles remind me of how i think in general so i was able to relate more to the piece.

It made me laugh the name you used was olivia. My roommate has that name, and she's exactly the same way. Takes her forever to get ready and changes her outfit 100 times.

Nice job. )
If I don't meet you no more in this world, I'll meet you in the next one and dont be late.

JWU Baking and Pastry '13
#8
im glad you could relate to the rambling. seeing the big picture is made up of all the little seemingly insignificant happenings is important to me.
#9
What's the dealio with movie theater pieces?

It's already been said, but your writing has a nice human down-to-earth feel, not so sterile like a lot of other people 'round here. It's refreshing. You capture the way the mind works, the way it sees the world pretty well.

There are some lines that are funky and some ideas that I wasn't a fan of. If I think of it tomorrow, I'll come back and edit them in. But for now, I shouldn't even be awake.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#10
Honest to god seeing the word "olivia" makes me think of you. Every. Time.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching