#1
I've had this song for ages and although I wan't to use it, I can't figure anything out anything else to go with it. Up for editing what is already there too.

Anyone willing to lend a hand?
Attachments:
Song 1.gp5
Last edited by Tomozaurus at Oct 8, 2009,
#2
Thanks for the Crit tomo, A little shorter than I hoped but thats fine.

Listening to yours now, I'll probably work on the crit tonight and post tomorrow morning.
return 0;

Quote by jsync
And I've eaten at some of Australia's best pizzerias.



SOUNDCLOUD
. com / fancy-elle
#3
that song has so much potential especially the end you could turn it into a solo
#5
Quote by Tomozaurus
I've had this song for ages and although I wan't to use it, I can't figure anything out anything else to go with it. Up for editing what is already there too.

Anyone willing to lend a hand?


I'm taking that to mean I can edit the song too.
I've attached my edit to my post.

Thanks again for critting mine, and sorry I'm late to return the C4C.

Ok i've listened to the song a few times now, I'll go over what I like about it first.
The contrast between the verse and chorus was interesting, I liked that the chorus was simple and soft,

the transition back into the verse was was to harsh, it needs a lead run or a pick slide or drums or something.

the last 2 bars of the verse section was... weird I would put that just at the end of the verse not every repetition of it.

And I agree with xHumanity that it does need a solo, and perhaps a bridge at the end.

Attachments:
Song 1_v2.gp5
return 0;

Quote by jsync
And I've eaten at some of Australia's best pizzerias.



SOUNDCLOUD
. com / fancy-elle
#6
Cheers for the crit.
On the written crits: Yeah, your right, the transition is too harsh. That'll be fixed. I actually like my end-verse-thing, so I might leave it in (gives it a bit of a Nu-metal nod, which I wanted). And I think that verse riff sounds a little plain without it. But it'll be modified.

As for the end. Thats the main reason why I put it up... I have never been able to think up anything to put on the end of this song...

Now on your GP mods: I love the intro thing you wrote and the piano in the verse. I hope you don't mind if I use modified versions of that in the song.

Here is my updated version:
Attachments:
Song 1 New.gp5
#7
Hello!
First you should ad drums, that usually helps me a lot to build a structure for a song.
The Piano should have a little more melody. This way its feels a little useless, like in the most Virgin Steel songs.
I think the best continue should be a long , slow guitar solo (for a twist you could ad piano / guitar "battling" ) than a Bridge, that has a lot of power, than repeat the first sections and than close it.
It will be a great song
Attachments:
Song 1 New nemuikuma.gp5
#8
Thanks for the return crit and your additions to the song. I like the idea of the "battling" guitar/piano solo. I might do that.

I'll be sure to post the song when its done.
#9
Eh, I'm not too much into the progressions for the intro and verse, i just don't like the fact that the guitars conflict with eachother, but the chorus is decent from what you have.
Poop.


Yes, poop.