#1
i'm reading this book on "how to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie and apparently, i have to do a presentation on the section "you can't win an argumemnt" and the author says how its best to just avoid an argument because if you lose, you lose and if you win, you still lose. he also mentions to avoid the acute angle and the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

i'm not posting this to get ideas for my presentation...
what i'm wondering is, am i the only guy that disagrees with this guy??
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#5
Well, I do agree with using right and obtuse angles.
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#7
Dale Carnegie is a pussy.
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#8
The guy who wrote that is quite clearly wrong, so wrong in fact that I may just have to take up an argument with him.....
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#9
I really didn't understand that, but from the sense I could make, I don't agree.
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Last edited by acidhendrix at Oct 8, 2009,
#10
The time spent reading that book could be spent getting friends.

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#11
Depends what the argument is about, I guess, but he has a point.

People don't like know-it-alls.
#12
Quote by DieGarbageMan
you own a book called how to win friends

hey man, i had to buy it for the course i'm taking. teehee~
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#14
My sig.

I personally like to avoid most arguements. 90% of the time you're not going to change the other person's opinion on the matter, so it's a waste of time.

The only time that it has a point is when the arguements are based on facts, and one person has their facts wrong. Then, it's a 'Correction' not an arguement. Still, a waste of time, because it's almost never necessary to correct someone.
Yeah, uh-huh...that's what they all say.
#15
Quote by osXtiger
The time spent reading that book could be spent getting friends.

The time spent writing a post about using the time spent on reading a book on getting friends could have been used to get more friends.


I also do not possess these creatures.
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#16
No. That's a moronic premise.

Argument is the foundation of free-flowing ideas and understanding. If there were no arguments, people would just become more and more entrenched in their own beliefs that everyone would get hostile when anyone brought anything up, which would only lead to violence.

Although "I see your point," and "Agree to disagree?" are necessities if you want to keep discussions civil. Avoiding arguments isn't a way around them. Learning to argue peacefully is.
#17
If you read 1984, you'll experience why 2+2 is 5, and if you read Lord of the Rings, you'll see how a small person can become a hero. The point here is that books are full of bull****.


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#19
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Eh I agree.

You lose friends by getting into arguments with them.


Not really, I argue with my friends all the time, although it's never over personal stuff, mostly politics and wether or not you can stuff the contents of a lunchbox into a can of relentless.
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#20
Putting it quite simply he's saying, to become friends with someone you should avoid arguments with them. For a decent proportion of situations I think that would probably be the best thing to do (if your sole purpose is to befriend them)
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#21
Quote by Nietsche
Not really, I argue with my friends all the time, although it's never over personal stuff, mostly politics and wether or not you can stuff the contents of a lunchbox into a can of relentless.





That's not quite the same. It doesn't work unless it's close friends.
#22
i've read the book too, and how it explains it in the book, is that if you want to make someone your friend and influence them, don't argue with them, just display your point clearly, answer they're questions about it, ask you're questions about their point then thats it.

You aren't gonna argue with someone you're trying to make friends with are you?
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#23
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No. That's a moronic premise.

Argument is the foundation of free-flowing ideas and understanding. If there were no arguments, people would just become more and more entrenched in their own beliefs that everyone would get hostile when anyone brought anything up, which would only lead to violence.

Although "I see your point," and "Agree to disagree?" are necessities if you want to keep discussions civil. Avoiding arguments isn't a way around them. Learning to argue peacefully is.

Very well put but I think that for the situations that this book is probably catering for then avoiding would probably be the right solution.
By reading this book someone is intending to 'try' to become friends with someone. IMO this wouldn't really work in a long term situation and the reasons for becoming a friend with this person are probably quite shallow and selfish hence would only last as long as it benefits the 'befriender'. Therefore the subject of argument is unlikely to return in the possibly short term relationship.
Maybe I'm looking too far into this and just babbling useless ****.
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#25
*adds "Find and Engage Dale Carnegie in Oral Argumentation" to to-do list*

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#26
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The time spent writing a post about using the time spent on reading a book on getting friends could have been used to get more friends.


I also do not possess these creatures.


The time spent writing a post about writing a post using the time spent on reading a book on getting friends could have been used to get more friends.


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#27
Argument =/= shouting match. I love having logical arguments.
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#29
That book was written decades ago. You can't "win" an argument, based on hurt feelings if you prove to be right. Sorta like war: you lose either way.

EDIT that's based on his theory, not mine.

Gerry Spence has a much better book, How to Argue and Win Every Time. He focuses on giving someone the power to accept or reject your argument, and appealing to common values.
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