#1
Hey guys, this is my first song on here.
I wrote this for my old band a while ago and we never ended up using it. I recently changed it up a lot and would like some critique on it because I might use it for a new band that I may be joining.

Thanks!
Cameron
Attachments:
Empathy.gp5
Empathy.gp4
Empathy.mid
#2
Really liked the intro and then adding the synth.

Transition was weird for me, everything just kinda stopped.

I didn't like the increase in tempo at "Circle Jerk" but maybe with vocals in would sound different. I don't know why vocals would make a difference but in my mind i feel like it would :P

I really liked 104 - 107.

I found the outro quite random. It didn't really fit with the rest of the song.

Overall i think it was very tight though. I think you have something solid on your hands.
#3
I really liked the intro. The drums and guitars sound great together, and the transition to the verse was just superb. The breakdown fits with the style of the song, but then it starts getting a bit weird. The transition part was too sudden and dissonant, it didn't fit in with the upbeat breakdown before it. Maybe it would sound better if it wasn't so sudden.

The bridge was a bit.. odd. I can't really see (or hear) how it in any way fits in with the song. Then it moves on to Hatedown, which I find to be like the Breakdown, fitting and nice

Circle Jerk and Upbeat Circle Jerk sound like they came from a different song. Dissonant Breakdown has its moments where it sounds mainly like a lot of mangled noise. But I guess it's supposed to be, well, dissonant.

And what's up with the outro? It's a totally different theme, different style and different in every possible way.

This is in no way hateful, I'm just expressing my opinions
#4
Overall, I think it's a great song. The intro is just great and I really liked the riffs in Circle Jerk.

However, the transition's strange. It's just like 21Fretter said, everything just kinda stops. I think there's work to do with that.

And right, the outro doesn't really fit in, at least in that part of the song. My point is, maybe as a breakdown or interlude it would sound rather good (I think). But if you're leaving it in there, the last E5 in the last two measures are like a bit out of what the outro is really like. I'd continue with the soloing in there and let it fade out. But that is only my opinion.

Anyways, great job mate, I really liked it. 8.5/10
Quote by angusfan16

That penis guitar. Hell, i'd wank it.


UG's MEXICAN DRUMMER
#5
I liked from the bridge on, it got pretty creative from there on it, but the intro and verse sounded quite generic to me. But you have the potential to write much more creative riffs. The rest of the song is a great example. the outro seemed to throw other people off but I really enjoyed it. Ending a song in a completely different mood and tone is really neat in my opinion and you took me completely off guard, especially where it started off kind of generic then just got more and more creative..you must have written this over a period of time in which you evolved significantly.
#6
Quote by NickStrick
I liked from the bridge on, it got pretty creative from there on it, but the intro and verse sounded quite generic to me. But you have the potential to write much more creative riffs. The rest of the song is a great example. the outro seemed to throw other people off but I really enjoyed it. Ending a song in a completely different mood and tone is really neat in my opinion and you took me completely off guard, especially where it started off kind of generic then just got more and more creative..you must have written this over a period of time in which you evolved significantly.

I wrote this around the beginning of the year I believe and came back and redid the ending solo in the outro along with all of drums. I did the Intro the day that I posted it because I felt that it would fit the verse a little bit more but I do agree that it is kind of generic in those areas. This isn't really my musical background either, I have only played in heavier bands so I am still getting used to writting stuff like this as well but thank you very much for your input
#7
Quote by BlackApparatus
Overall, I think it's a great song. The intro is just great and I really liked the riffs in Circle Jerk.

However, the transition's strange. It's just like 21Fretter said, everything just kinda stops. I think there's work to do with that.

And right, the outro doesn't really fit in, at least in that part of the song. My point is, maybe as a breakdown or interlude it would sound rather good (I think). But if you're leaving it in there, the last E5 in the last two measures are like a bit out of what the outro is really like. I'd continue with the soloing in there and let it fade out. But that is only my opinion.

Anyways, great job mate, I really liked it. 8.5/10

Yeah the main problem that I have with my songs is coming up with an effective transition that doesn't totally change the mood of the song or the feel of it. I will try doing the thing with the outro solo as well, thanks!
#9
Quote by Joshe_009
Brilliant song. I love post hardcore.

The hatedown was awesome.

Thanks man!
#10
Thanks for the crit.

Aside from saying this song is awesome, I can't really give much of a crit. The Dissonant (with 2 "S" by the way) Breakdown was my favorite part. The transition into the outro was a bit rough. Very good song.

Not that it matters, but this is more along the lines of metalcore, rather than post-hardcore.
ESP Viper 1000 Deluxe

Peavey Vypyr 120 Head
ValveKing 4x12 Cab

ISP Decimator
Boss AC-2
Ibanez TS-7
#11
Nice song, the hatedown was awesome. The outro fit nicely. There's nothing i didn't like with the tune nice work
9.5/10
#12
Good overall song. The intro sound good but it's very similar to the first verse, this makes it a little repetitive. The bridge and the hate down are awesome but I dont like the transition. I don't realy like the sudden tempo change in circle break but the riff is good. The build up to the end is good, real good. I would make the outro a lot dirtier, it would fit the song better. good job anyway. Critique mine please! https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1218854