This song times at about 5:06. I've never really made a song with a lead guitar part before, so this is somewhat new to me. But other than that, it's just my normal style of music, melodic metalcore. I have a vocal track on there with just a few ideas so just ignore that for now unless you really want to comment on it. Let me know what you think. C4C as usual.
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Any chick that can dance with a walrus to Michael Jackson songs is hot in my book.
For your first song with leads, that's pretty ****in' deadly man.
I like some of your rhythms and **** quite a bit, keep workin on that bro and you'll be ****in' solid
1. Pretty brutal
2. Brutal keeps going
3. Brutal, but little bit too random. Hmm cool ending
4. You ended brutality! Well nice melodies anyway.
5. Instead of synths you should use guitars. Didn't like this part very much.
6. Yeah, synths make this song only longer, it is stupid to have synths in this kind of song. Worst part this far.
7. Ok, worst one comes here. Sawtooth sounds really stupid. Synth's could fit the song, I just don't like them, but sawtooth totally ruined this part.
8. Best part of the song. Very brutal sounded like it would have taken inspiration from techdeath! Fits this song perfectly!
9- same as 3.
10. Pretty nice as 4 is but it repeats itself too much 179-189.
Pretty good! The intro was very nice and aggressive, and the sweep. In part 2, I think some harmonies would be cool. Part 3 wasn't terribly exciting, but it would be great with vocals. Part 4 was very melodic, great job. I actually liked the synths in part 5 and 6. Part 7, ****in heavy! The rest of the song was good also.

Great job.


Thanks guys for the awesome crit ! I'll get to your C4C right now.
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Any chick that can dance with a walrus to Michael Jackson songs is hot in my book.
Thank you for the crit! And no e-cookies for you... I don't think i've heard more than one Blind Guardian song and that was over a year ago!

Critting as I listen:

1: The drums seem very bland and boring... They don't seem to fit the guitar part. Which the lead isn't that interesting... I feel like i've heard this before. The rhythm part is the best, in my opion.

19: This riff is a bit better. more variety, but the rhythm needs to change. I went through and changed the drums a little bit adding little sixteenth note fills on, for example, every 1, or the end of every measure have 1 8th and 4 sixteenths rather than 3 8th notes. It just fills up the song more and adds variety.

31: I like the breakdown. I like that extra measure that you add, that kind of gives it that waiting feeling.

48: This part reminds me of Born of Osiris because of how it goes into a more technical part. But it still needs some more rhythmic variety. It all seems very stale and overused.

66: Too much breakdown. It still sounds good, but I don't think it fits the song right here. The strings that come in are amazing, and add a lot to the song. But the synth is what really does it for me. That part sounds good. The breakdown sounds really good, but it doesn't fit where you put it in my opinion.

92: I really like the synth. You know what you're doing there. This part sounds really good. Very will done. I like the melody, and the synth gives the feel that more is going on than actually is.

106: I like the bass and drums. They both seem to fit here, rather than being a kind of stale rhythm that you seem to have going on throughout.

122: I've never been too fond of tremolo picked melodies. They've just never worked for me... I don't think you should have ended the synth going on over it though. That would have added a lot to the section.

138: The Faceless. I can hear it a lot. This part is really good, and makes me want to listen to some techdeath. Great job here, and it leads in well from the previous section.


171: Back to the "techy" section.

Overall: It was an alright song. It didn't really catch my attention accept in a couple parts. There were too many breakdowns that didn't fit in my opinion, and it just seems kind of all over the place. The individual sections were good, but they didn't fit into the grande scheme of things.

Absolutely loved the harmonised solo stuff, that was freakin' killer. Loved how you kickes things off with the half bar pause with everything else, launching into it, that was a great little feature. I will admit that the synth part was quite good, but I'm not sure if it only dragged the song out for longer than it should have been. And I didn't like the triplet 16th parts that came in afterwards, it seemed to kinda ruin the feel a little bit. Aside from that, killer piece. I'd love to see more of this kinda stuff from you.
I just don't understand how a sane person is supposed to play the rhythm guitar.
Quote by Victor V.
I just don't understand how a sane person is supposed to play the rhythm guitar.

What do you mean?
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Any chick that can dance with a walrus to Michael Jackson songs is hot in my book.
the start is ok and the song kicks in very nicely, especially with the rhythm guitar coming in but to play it in real is another thing i guess. the rhythm guitar continues to impress me, then the harmonizing comes in and i absolutely loved it. i think the drumming except the start is pretty good. i wasnt a big fan of your use of synths, rather you could get rid of them and make an acoustic guitar play something similar to them, that would sound better imo. the rest all seems fine, overall i would say something like 6/10
c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1215060
Last edited by blackmagician at Oct 15, 2009,
I like the breakdown at 31-46, and I also liked the synth melody in the second breakdown, which unfortunately was kind of the same thing over and over. At a length like that, you have to throw in more than the same rhythm over and over every two measures. Bars 138-153 were cool, and they sounded a little "tech-death-ish". But the biggest problem with this for me is actually your genre labeling. I just don't usually associate string ensembles with metalcore, melodic or other wise. I suppose it would be more like symphonic metalcore, or something. For metalcore I give it a 7/10, but that can be an 8/10 if you start calling it symphonic metalcore.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1215676
Last edited by Ginsu at Oct 15, 2009,
Sorry, I was on vacation guys, I'll get to critiquing very soon.
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Any chick that can dance with a walrus to Michael Jackson songs is hot in my book.