DiminishedFifth
Absolute Imperfection
Join date: Nov 2008
3,247 IQ
#1
I have a finished product! It's been so long since i've ever actually finished something! Yay!

Well, here it is! I feel that after the second chorus I rush into the outro, but I haven't really come up with another way of transitioning to the outro yet... any help? Only, of course, if it's needed. :]

Crit on anything needed! The longer (and better!) your crit, the longer/better mine is. ;]

And 5 e-cookies if you can tell me the influences.

MIDI only please.
Attachments:
Closing the Gap (Version Six).zip
Last edited by DiminishedFifth at Oct 11, 2009,
bass_boi_ftw
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
105 IQ
#2
0.o
****ing sick man! I wish i could write somethign like that lol

Awesome job keep it up
xxCHANCExx
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2007
788 IQ
#3
That's pretty sweet man! Beginning is nice and soft, but comes in with a bang, I love it. Nice little solo in the beginning as well, I liked it. Well, so far, as I listen to it, it sounds a lot like Blind Guardian. Am I right? I like the change to G Minor, but the keyboard in the transition sounded a little odd.Chorus was okay, didn't have as big of a sound as the beginning, but it was cool. I thought the pre-solo sounded kinda cool lol. Solo itself was alright, nothing that really stuck out though. It really sounds a lot like Blind Guardian again at A#. Was that your influence? Amirite?! Well, You did a great job, whoever your influences were. It sounded very good.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1213453
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Any chick that can dance with a walrus to Michael Jackson songs is hot in my book.
DiminishedFifth
Absolute Imperfection
Join date: Nov 2008
3,247 IQ
#4
No e-cookie for you! Don't listen to Blind Guardian :3

Thank you ^^ Do you know exactly what sounded weird about the transitions? And what could I do to give the chorus more power?

Anyone else?
blackmagician
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
98 IQ
#5
the song itself is awesome. i liked the intro very much, and the intro-solo too. the song kicks in nicely with the Fm. personally, i liked the chorus. but the bass, my God! its brilliant ! you almost used it as a lead instrument rather than a background one. as i too started writing only a little while back, i have a big problem with arranging bass and looking at your bass line, i was blown seriously. the guitar solo sounded fine. the transition (pre-solo) was veryyy good with the contrasting bass, and the bass solo was good, but i think you could have used 4 more bars to the transition into the outro. the outro itself was good but i wasn't that amazed by the transition. overall the song is brilliant
crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1215060
Arycama
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
480 IQ
#6
Sounds really good in my opinion. Very progressive, and epic.

I think to give the chorus more power, you might need to build it up a little bit more, and change the drum feels a little. (Feels, not fills mind you :P) But its good, I like it.

Critique my song if you have time.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1216277
Last edited by Arycama at Oct 15, 2009,
DiminishedFifth
Absolute Imperfection
Join date: Nov 2008
3,247 IQ
#7
Already got back to you blackmagician, and i'm in the process of critting you right now Arycama.

@Arycama: What exactly do you mean by feels? And how could I extend the pre-chorus?
Macabre_Turtle
UG's UGer
Join date: Oct 2006
640 IQ
#8
Shit man, I wanted to give you crits for mixing my song, but I can't find anything that's not perfect. My puny brain doesn't even understand what's going on half the time! I just have a constant feeling of claustrophobia and "how the hell did he do that?!" Haha. That's all a good thing.
ultimate-slash
Playing the tempeh
Join date: Oct 2007
755 IQ
#9
Awesome!

No other word to describe it really

I can't help hearing some Dream Theater and Opeth-ish things here and there. Possible influences? And you don't happen to listen to Adagio, do you?

Has symphony x been any influence?
Leaving the choirs behind to sing
of anything fair
of lilac spring
.
Last edited by ultimate-slash at Jan 29, 2010,
DiminishedFifth
Absolute Imperfection
Join date: Nov 2008
3,247 IQ
#10
Quote by ultimate-slash
Awesome!

No other word to describe it really

I can't help hearing some Dream Theater and Opeth-ish things here and there. Possible influences? And you don't happen to listen to Adagio, do you?

Has symphony x been any influence?

Thank you! :]

There's probably a hint of Dream Theater, no Opeth at all ( don't listen/like). And I listened to Adagio AFTER I wrote this song...

Symphony X, though, they're amazing ;] But they're mostly a small influence on the song.