#1
the sun shines just a little too bright
on these words delivered,oh so slight
as loss and hurt envelope my soul
and broken promises exact their toll

wonder fills my mind at how
one man could do this to
another,throwing manners
and so called "good-will"
out of the window

gazing upon this battlefield...
"we'll win this war"
was the promise they made
which fell as quickly as our men. dismayed

im not sure whether this is a song or a poem so anycomments there would be appreciated also if you can think of anything else like the wording etc

thanks in advance guys
#3
im going to write more to it...i was just posting this as a first few initial ideas thanks for the comment
#4
It is a poem or a song whether u make appropriate music for it or not...the way I see it...
#5
i think its more of a peom now,l but if you put more to it i could see it being a really kool song