dontbestupid47
geRitseder esUr
Join date: Jul 2006
351 IQ
#1
Messin around with progressive stuff lately. Mainly because i have only been listening to practically dream theater all day every day. Tried using different polyrhythms and key signature changes, but also tried to keep it kind of mellow also.

Crit for crit

Thanks!
Attachments:
allergic to life.zip
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
RiseAgainstScum
%user
Join date: Feb 2009
119 IQ
#2
Man, the 2nd guitar's riff starting at bar 18 is too good, you don't play it enough. I tried adding it to the second half of verse with a lower volume and it sounded great. I absolutely loved the guitar harmonies.

The guitar solo felt too short. You must definetely make it longer. Also the high Eb at the solo's last part feels a bit weird. I changed that with a D and it sounded much better imo.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1215152
ultimate-slash
Playing the tempeh
Join date: Oct 2007
755 IQ
#3
damnit, I'm supposed to work on stuff for school, but your song was just too amazing, so I had to focus all my attention on it

anyways, not really a crit I know, but to be honest there's nothing that I can say you should change about it, everything flows perfectly, fits nicely, nothing's missing, nothing is overdone, no false/sour notes etc etc...

This is one great piece of work you made here, and I'd love to hear more (and this recorded)

Good job 10/10
Leaving the choirs behind to sing
of anything fair
of lilac spring
.
Carl6661
UG Freak
Join date: Oct 2007
2,096 IQ
#4
Thanks for the crit'

As for this, nothing sounded off to me. I never listen to prog', so bear that in mind if I sound a little negative. Everything sounded decent, all the changes and what-not worked.

Overall, 7/10. Not bad, but not my cup of tea.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
Last edited by Carl6661 at Nov 1, 2011,
DragTheWaters11
☺♣♠`
Join date: Jun 2009
1,335 IQ
#5
That's not my kind of music.. but DAMN THAT WAS GOOD! I loved every minute of that. It had a very different... awesome... sound to it. The riffs were very different, and odd, but they worked greatly. I honestly have nothing bad to say about that... that's just really good my friend. Nice work.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
ch715dallat
BTBAM=Godly
Join date: Jun 2006
3,466 IQ
#6
Pretty solid song, just some parts dragged on too long and i felt myself skipping, thats probably just to do with the type of music i listen to and what i reguard as progressive. which constantly changing and suprising music with multiple time signatures used all the time. not just riff riff riff, lead riff etc...

love the part at 141 tho, good transition, reminds me of the riff from swing life away by rise against too much tho solo at 158 was sweet, as was the following slower lead.

riffs from 182 on were pretty sweet too. try making the second guitar a bit more interesting tho with a different melody playing that contrasts with the first guitar, so it harmonises in places but isnt playing the same thing.

good song, just try shorten the first few sections and basically make it a shorter more interesting song than a long tiring one. remember progressive =/= length

anyhoo, mind checking out
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1214549

Arycama
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
480 IQ
#7
Bars 9-16, some of the notes sound kinda off key, i think it would sound better if they were all properly in a scale. It kinda sounds like its trying to be happy, but sounding sad.

Also I reckon it could do without the 6/8 bar at bar 17, and just go straight into it after the drum fill at the end of bar 16.

I like the bit where the vocals come in, and it goes into a slower feel with chords, sounds good.

Transition to the clean guitar and strings part is good too, its enough of a change to keep the song flowing, but not drag on too much. The lead guitar in the background is good too.

The next bits sound good, just reusing earlier sections of the song with slight variations. Familiarity is good.

The octaved lead guitar over the next clean section sounds really nice too.

The guitar solo starts off well, the fast triplet bits sound good, except in bar 163, I think it would sound better with in key notes rather then chromatic notes.

The outro seems a bit dragged on, just the clean guitar, distorted guitar, clean guitar again, that sorta thing, maybe just going into the last outro riff without the clean guitar could work.

The drumming really suits the music in some sections, but in others, I think the drumming could sound more powerful/heavy.

Its mostly good though, definatley has potential, just some creases that could do with ironing out. I'd say 7/10.

If you have time, check out my song.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1216277