#1
c4c yda yada

-------------------

It's hard to believe it's been a year to the day
Since we kicked the monsters overboard
And laughed while they floated away.

It's hard to accept that the scabs are still red,
That I'm falling off the top deck
And you're falling out of your head.

I take a second glance and the waves turn to fuzz,
Swam too far too turn around but I
Almost wish I'd stayed where I was.

And you don't say what you mean,
You didn't mean what you said,
And you don't if he's listening,
Or just nodding his head
You throw matches at the clouds
But the sky doesn't burn
And you can't even look at me now
And you don't know why
And you don't care to learn.

They point and they yell and you cover your ears
With your tan hands, aluminum foil
Between your head and spears

..It's hard to believe it's been a year to the day
Since the bridges passed over us,
Like worries floating away.
Last edited by flame843 at Oct 13, 2009,
#2
well, some of the words you used to fit the rhymes together i found to be pretty basic, eg head, red, said. ears, spears. fuzz, was. also it seems there are too many filler words, and not much room for imagination.

you dont leave alot in your statements to ponder, it seems very presented and up-front, which could be intentional.

'And you don't' isnt a very inviting intro/subject but the fragment works out pretty well, specifically 'You throw matches/care to learn'.

keep it up man.
Last edited by theshroomman at Oct 14, 2009,