Okay so here's a small little piece of a piece of i'm working on.

I just started writing it down and I literally had no base before I started doing this. I just picked up my guitar and started writing.

I'll update it with the final copy eventually but I just wanna get people thoughts before I even go on..

I've started this pop/rock band with a girl singer and i've posted some songs on here before.

but this is a different one.. It's kinda heavier and not poppy. I haven't even thought of how lyrics will go with it.. I was just wondering what you guys had to say about it.

The progression is pretty generic but i'm trying to keep things as simple as it can get.

Pretty much asking if you can picture a girl singer, (not screamer, growler, yeller), singing to this

UPDATE: Finished it but isn't polished. The middle to me is kinda sketchy an dI would appreciate some help on it..

I'm having trouble leading back into the "chorus"

so if anyone can help me out that'd be great. Criticism is welcome as well.
Last edited by SeEsAw12 at Oct 20, 2009,
this is similiar to something paramore/evanasence would do, its not all that heavy and plus girls can do pretty much what guys can do singing wise no matter how heavy

i would still call it pop rock - has a simple arrangement and the chord progression is quiet basic leaving for one hell of a vocal melody to stand on top

all the best constructing the melody
Intro has potential. Needs more layers maybe?

The song isn't heavy, mate.

Quite repetative.

Add a bass.

Outro is awful, sorry.
Mate this song is not heavy in any aspect

You should consider adding a harmony behind the outro riff or something
Dig a tunnel of light through ignorant walls
well compared to my other music it is. The outro is actually the middle. Like I said I still gotta add to it.. Which i've put off for a few days. Thanks for your criticism!

But yeah that's not the outro at all.. I wouldn't abruptly end a song like that, ever.

here's the other song I was talking about. I never got around to posting this either.
Last edited by SeEsAw12 at Oct 17, 2009,
Repetive, stop abusing the intro riff
Everything up until the break is quite ok for me
The break itself is good, I like when the drums come in.
Last chorus is ok, good end though