#1
Hey,
here's another song I'm working on. Would be cool if you could give it a go, and tell me what you think.

It's in my profile called Come Fly.

Just a quick note, the clean guitar is probably not gonna be in the final version, it only serves as a placeholder for the vocal melody.
Plus this is not the full length of the song, but it will follow, that pattern you hear.

When you're already in my profile, it would also be nice if you could listen to "lovesong". Although there's a seperate thread for that.

C4C
#2
Man for some reason all I was hearing is Ice Ice Baby
Anyways I really like the intro solo and the lead tone throughout, but was let down by what that buildup lead into.
I really was expecting some butt kicking hard edge riff
The rhythem tone is really weird and makes your playing sound either sloppy or out of tune

Overall it kind of reminds me a bit of Brand New

Now Lovesong
I gotta say I'm really impressed .. by the tone, the feeling, mood everything
It's something I could hear either old RCHP doing or Incubus
At times it feels a little repetitive but not so much that it's bothersome, and I have a feeling that once you add vocals to it that'll all go away
Great song

C4C
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=21937107#post21937107
#3
Ice, Ice, Baby? I was hearing Hells Bells. I also got the feeling of wanting to piss, halfway through it. Not sure if that's related or not. Probably.

"LET'S SCREAM AND PUNCH EACH OTHER," is what I kept thinking. Snarf!

I give it a "B"... woot!
#4
Hey, I liked this - I think it would be a good intro to an album or something. Nice tone, only thing is the bend at 30 sounds a bit off, maybe thats just me! Apart from that I liked it. The ending is my fav part, really nice progression.

I also checked out Lovesong and I really liked the tone and vibe of the song, nice playing! I think adding another guitar playing a few lead notes might add a bit of variety, but you have a good idea there.
#5
Thanks for your crits guys!

Come fly:

Well I have to admit that I'm not satisfied myself with the sound of that rhythm guitar myself. I'd really like it to be a les paulish rich and fat sound, but I only own a cheap strat copy. But I will work on that.
I'm not sure if another riff after the intro one would work. Cause that's the part where the vocals kick in. But I do agree that the transirion could be better. And yes the bend is out of tune, but i was too lazy to record it again

Lovesong:

I'm really happy you guys digg it as I put a lot of effort into it and really want it to be something special. I myself consider this the best song I've written so far and probably for some time to come as well. You know, unless I **** up the lyrics or vocals.
#7
i am not quite sure where I went wrong listening to this one but I dont think I liked it very much. The leads were cool but something wasnt hitting me right so I quit listening to it and listened to the other one, "Lovesong."

That one I liked, was way cool dude!

EDIT: Ok I went back and listened again. I think my problem with it is that the distorted guitar maybe has to much high end. Seems like the chord tones and chord changes interfere with each other somehow. Overall its pretty cool though.
Play the Art that Plays
Last edited by bastratard at Oct 18, 2009,
#8
I think you can play a little cleaner then that. Your notes need to flow better
#9
Yeah thanks to you guys for your crits. I think I'm gonna rerecord the rhythm guitar when I find the time. I just started university so I don't have much time for recording right now.

@thec0dy I don't know about the lead. I kinda like the edgy tone so I think I'm gonna leave it the way it is. Thanks for your opinion anyways.
#11
Thanks, man.
Nonetheless I will have to rerecord the rhythm guitar.
I'll be back to crit your song
#12
cool man. it has a strait up clasic rock kinda feel. i like when the lead comes in. its a solid track. i would keep it how it is with the clean for the verses distorted for chorus. i liked the sound of it. nice job man. a good listen.

thanks for the crit.
#13
On Lovesong you could really use some lead guitar riffs to break up the monotony. It is very repetitive, not necessarily in a bad way; but it leaves a lot to be desired from a listeners standpoint. It has a nice classic rock meets post rock vibe to it, which is easy for many people to get into (not so much my style, but its not bad by any means). Vocals and good lyrics could definitely help this song out. You seemingly have the foundation of the song, you just need to progress it a bit more so it actually has more of a feeling of being a song. Write some vocal melodies and some light riffs, maybe even a solo; and it will be good. Hell, I would even consider writing some orchestral parts; maybe even just a cello playing nice and rhythmically in the background.

Thanks for the critique on my song by the way.
Check out Hear the Indie for music reviews, interviews, and more.

Want a review? Send me a PM or email through the contact form on my site.
#14
Thank you.
That's what a critique should look like. I will keep working on it, and hopefully finally write some lyrics so I can start developing the vocal melody.
I thought about adding orchestral parts to it, that's why I asked you in what you used for your song
#15
that was very good. your rhythm skills are good and i liked how you seem to manage to land on a good note to end a musical phrase. your phrasing was also very good however the rhythm of the solo seemed to always stay the same the whole way through. maybe mix it up with unique bends and unique rhythms. also i thought the ending was very abrupt but you probobly didn't need me to tell you that.

also listened to love song and that too was very nice. I liked it much more than the rock song but that might just be because i prefer that style over the rock style you played. very well played and the tune was beautiful. only thing that i can think of to maybe improve it would be to add more sections to it and build up tension as you go.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1220400 there's my song if you want to listen and crit
#16
Thanks a lot man. I will go ahead and work on it, of course. I'm currently playing around with some string sections and such.
#17
the solo at the beginning sounds great, theres alot of good ideas floating around but they're kinda unorganized : the structure isn't really there,
otherwise it sound pretty good concerning timing and the quality of the recording
and you've got a good sound on the guitars

P.S
i also listened to lovesong
all you need is some vocals to make a really really nice song

C4C plz
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1223039
Check out and rate my songs in my profile if you have a moment to spare
All my Songs are Rock Influenced
#19
the solos need polishing, but i absolutely love the rhythm riffs, a very monumental sound to them, although the mood changes the solos bring to the song are very nice, flows well, it should be a little longer i want it to continue
#20
The last part of Come Fly would make a nice chorus, from 1:37. The intro buildup was nice but I too missed a real release that a really kick-ass, heavy riff would have brought there. Not a big fan of the overdriven rhythm tone but it might work better in a band setting where the bass would fill out the lower frequencies. The chordal riff could easily be a verse if you decide to write some lyrics to this. Overall I think it's a decent idea that would benefit from a few changes.
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