#1
I've never posted any of my lyrics on the internet before, probably because most of them are really personal and I don't really like anyone else reading them (and because I don't really write them to perform to anyone else I don't really spend much time on them). These lyrics are from a short song I wrote about judging people on how they look. I know, it's quite abstract and there isn't much imagery to really provide substance but tell me what you think. This is one of the few songs that isn't too related to my personal life


The only beauty that counts
Is beauty in the heart
'Cause anyone could be pretty
If we were living in the dark

So turn out the lights
And wrap your arms around me
[I'm not the most handsome of guys
But it wouldn't matter if you couldn't see]

Looks are always second place
What truly matters is underneath

We judge too much
By what we see with our eyes
And we don't take enough time
To get deep and realise

We judge too much
By what we see with our eyes
And we don't take enough time
To realise what we find


The bit in the square brackets is the bit that's been replaced by the following two lines (just so you know what it was originally and can tell me if it's improved).

Short and sweet - and probably doesn't sound as good without hearing the acoustic guitar-y bits I wrote for it that I hear in my head when I read it haha.
Last edited by Sploshi at Oct 16, 2009,
#2
You can always take this as an abstract piece of work and then build on it in the future, I'm the other way round I can write the music but I'm hopeless at writing lyrics :P Good luck with it anyway.. Sounds good to me.
#3
Quote by Sploshi


The only beauty that counts
Is beauty in the heart
'Cause anyone could be pretty
If we were living in the dark

...

We judge too much
By what we see with our eyes
And we don't take enough time
To realise what we find


I like the begining and the end [as seen in the quote]. I can't really pinpoint what is it about the middle that doesn't catch my attention but I guess it seems a bit too... bland [?]. I do however like the line 'So turn out the lights' and where it could go.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

C4C - Songwriting and Lyrics

- Hung Up on You -
- Apathy Unending -
Last edited by FueLsTp at Oct 16, 2009,
#4
I just re-wrote part of the second stanza.

And FueLsTp, is it just the 2nd stanza you don't like or the 3rd as well? Or did you just not realise that the 3rd and 4th stanzas differ slightly on the final line?
#5
Quote by Sploshi
I just re-wrote part of the second stanza.

And FueLsTp, is it just the 2nd stanza you don't like or the 3rd as well? Or did you just not realise that the 3rd and 4th stanzas differ slightly on the final line?


I like the part you rewrote.

So turn out the lights
And wrap your arms around me
Looks are always second place
What truly matters is underneath


That part sounds much better to me now. I'm still a bit neutral to the second line, but all in all, I like the stanza much more now. As for the 3rd and 4th - I noticed I didn't specify. To me, the ending of the third stanza doesn't really flow well for me - the premise of it.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

C4C - Songwriting and Lyrics

- Hung Up on You -
- Apathy Unending -