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#4
peed into a fire pit to put the embers out, all my pee turned into steam and flew up back at my face
It's always the last day of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in
#8
Tits, I grabbed them. Basically totally messed it up with that girl. Second dumbest might be making a total fool of myself screaming and trying to do the worm, I failed utterly.

I dont remember much of the second one so im mostly going off what people told me.
Better, Faster, Stronger

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Quote by airbrendie
Hey guys in the last 3 weeks I ****ed all the girls in this picture, what do you think?

Last edited by VanTheKraut at Oct 16, 2009,
#9
Quote by PaulyVengeance
made a UG account and set my username as random-emo-kill.

really? you did? dude you are awsome
#10
I can give examples, but I can't pin point THE dumbest.

I once announced myself as the second coming of Jesus Christ on the streets of Berlin whilst making up quotes of Revelations to back up my claims. I was also swearing heavily telling people to respect their father who created them.
#11
While at a party, I got toasted, ordered a pizza, then met the delivery guy outside.

We had a 10 minute conversation, after which I attempted to give him a massive tip.

Then I passed out in the driver's seat of my car (in an attempt to keep the pizza all to myself) but was soon found and carried inside, where I proceeded to puke and dry heave all night.

I didn't get any of the pizza, either.

Yes. I was that guy.

Edit: ^This man wins.
Quote by JMack
Are you asking if midgets can draw people that are themselves smaller than the average person, or if midget drawings in general are smaller?
#12
Quote by Craigo
I can give examples, but I can't pin point THE dumbest.

I once announced myself as the second coming of Jesus Christ on the streets of Berlin whilst making up quotes of Revelations to back up my claims. I was also swearing heavily telling people to respect their father who created them.


I would believe you.
But then again i am easily fooled.

I was drunk once and i ran down my friends street naked, needless to say my friends mom was disappoint.
#14
Man you wouldn't be able to cram all the dumb **** I've done into 100 novels let alone a thread
#15
I can't decide out of:

I jumped off a wall to save an almost burnt out cigarette.

and

I tried to break a 4th storey window and jump out because I was locked inside a room and the person with the key was asleep. Then on the way home I was so drunk I thought I was made out of plasticine and went round telling people that they would be exempted from the holocaust.

EDIT: the reason I was so drunk is that I downed 3 bottles of wine so that we could leave the pub. My friend Steph had decided that it would be a good idea to invite a homeless Portugese man in to join our table.
Last edited by BrianApocalypse at Oct 16, 2009,
#16
Pissed myself a bit and had to dispose of my underwear in a random downtown container.
Nice and relaxing going commando the rest of the night actually...
Quote by rg_metal
I love to utilize furniture to achieve the desired penetration.

UGH!
taste
kaygade
#18
i was drunk as hell at this party at my buddies house for haloween. Hottest girl in our grade is there. i walked up to her and said "Wanna know how i know im not gay?" and i procedeed to massage and kiss her boobs in front of everyone. **** you not. it was so out of character for me that she laughed it off. but then my friend dared me to do it again...i got slapped.

also, my first night of college, went to an apartment party, blacked out, woke up infront of a dumpster to two cops helping me get into their car. My friend said i wandered off to find a cigarrette and ended up just laying down in front of the dumpster at the end of the drive way and threw up all over myself. proly one of my favorite night of all time. to this day
crit my rhymes?:

Lets Get Drunk and Fuck.

Subtle Arrogance

Do you realize, that i can clearly see your clitoris through your jeans?

Quote by Shaepwnsyou
They're very religious, so they have butt sex to save their virginity.
#20
I kicked a stool into my girlfriends face last week. She was massively unimpressed. Thats the most recent thing.
ALL THE PLAYERS ARE KEEN GRAVE MAKERS
#21
all of these things are precisely the reasons i dont drink XD thanks guys youve made my day
#22
me and a friend were tank wasted and we decided to go ding dong ditching. Well needless to say rednecks dont like being woke up at 3 am. So we were chased with a bat for a good half mile.

It was pretty scary. And when we were finally safe my friend blew chunks EVERYWHERE.
trying to piece his 2 and 2 together
#23
i jumped into a thorn bush
ran around a town topless
got into one of them paddling pools with only my boxers on
walked some place naked, and got chased, and fell
oh mmrs
ALL OF MY CRAP SONGS/IDEAS

Quote by God
LOLjk guise, im not real.


Quote by JDbbx
I don't want to go into detail but it involves my girlfriend, a condom and 10 seconds.

If anyone sigs that I shall be most irritated
#24
Quote by random-emo-kill
all of these things are precisely the reasons i dont drink XD thanks guys youve made my day

Drinking is ridiculous amounts of fun and you don't have to drink *that* much.
#25
Knocked over a large stack of plates at my friends house, which cascaded down into the wine rack and smashed just about every bottle... (along with all the plates and a **** load of fancy glasses) I took the remaining couple of bottles intact and drank them both >_>
#27
Quote by random-emo-kill
really? you did? dude you are awsome

Please excuse my godawful username. I was thirteen.
#29
Voted for republicans.
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#33
I puked once. But I rarely do stupid things, unlike the people around me. Their drunken stunts are so stupid/funny I'd just stay sober the whole night just so I could remember it.
#34
I'll leave this story here. It's from when I was 17. It might be long, but its worth it.


Anyway, I just turned 17, and my friend Becky and I decided to get an apartment. So in celebration, we throw a party at our new place, just a couple close friends. Anyway, I'm feeling daring, so I do four double shots of Bacardi 151. I go in the kitchen for some water, being drunk beyond any belief known to man. About 10 minutes later my friend Joe is wondering where the hell I am, so he comes into the kitchen and finds me laying there on my back, with my legs pointed right in the air at a 90 degree angle, chilling against the fridge.

At some other point I really need to piss, and I require the aid of a friend. Becky offers, and walks me into the bathroom, she had to hold me up, hold my dick, and have me piss in the cats litter box because I kept trying to dance while pissing. Then I decide I need to ****, so I get completely naked for some reason, and sit on the toilet. After about five minutes, my friend John comes in, who is also naked (apparently at some point every just got naked). He sits on the tub next to the toilet and starts feeding me crackers, telling me everything is going to be okay (which I have no idea what he meant by, but hey, free crackers). Then the next thing I remember is waking up in the bath tub, naked, with four loaves of sliced bread scattered about my body, as though they were a blanket.

Oh, to be 17.
#35
Quote by Daffodil Lament
I'll leave this story here. It's from when I was 17. It might be long, but its worth it.


Anyway, I just turned 17, and my friend Becky and I decided to get an apartment. So in celebration, we throw a party at our new place, just a couple close friends. Anyway, I'm feeling daring, so I do four double shots of Bacardi 151. I go in the kitchen for some water, being drunk beyond any belief known to man. About 10 minutes later my friend Joe is wondering where the hell I am, so he comes into the kitchen and finds me laying there on my back, with my legs pointed right in the air at a 90 degree angle, chilling against the fridge.

At some other point I really need to piss, and I require the aid of a friend. Becky offers, and walks me into the bathroom, she had to hold me up, hold my dick, and have me piss in the cats litter box because I kept trying to dance while pissing. Then I decide I need to ****, so I get completely naked for some reason, and sit on the toilet. After about five minutes, my friend John comes in, who is also naked (apparently at some point every just got naked). He sits on the tub next to the toilet and starts feeding me crackers, telling me everything is going to be okay (which I have no idea what he meant by, but hey, free crackers). Then the next thing I remember is waking up in the bath tub, naked, with four loaves of sliced bread scattered about my body, as though they were a blanket.

Oh, to be 17.


Quote by kayaress one


Sir, I love you.

#37
Passed out on my neighbors back porch and woke up stuck in his doggie door with my pants half off
#38
a few times i have completely falling out of bed having sex and have even pass out during it, most of my drinking is done at home for reasons like this.....

me and my friend were wasted and holding each other up walking at about 2am back to his house, we were singing at the top of our lungs and laughing and tripped over garbage cans the whole way back, when i got there i threw up in his moms flower bed killing everything in it and proceeded to get yelled at by her the next morning with a huge hang over.
P.R.S SE Custom

Line 6 Vetta combo
#39
Me and 3 friends stood in a busy road and directed traffic at 1 in the morning, it was funny until we tried to direct a cop...
Gear
Jackson Rhodes
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Line 6 Floor pod
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Custom Bass I built from spare parts
Fender Rumble 60 bass amp
#40
Quote by Daffodil Lament
I'll leave this story here. It's from when I was 17. It might be long, but its worth it.


Anyway, I just turned 17, and my friend Becky and I decided to get an apartment. So in celebration, we throw a party at our new place, just a couple close friends. Anyway, I'm feeling daring, so I do four double shots of Bacardi 151. I go in the kitchen for some water, being drunk beyond any belief known to man. About 10 minutes later my friend Joe is wondering where the hell I am, so he comes into the kitchen and finds me laying there on my back, with my legs pointed right in the air at a 90 degree angle, chilling against the fridge.

At some other point I really need to piss, and I require the aid of a friend. Becky offers, and walks me into the bathroom, she had to hold me up, hold my dick, and have me piss in the cats litter box because I kept trying to dance while pissing. Then I decide I need to ****, so I get completely naked for some reason, and sit on the toilet. After about five minutes, my friend John comes in, who is also naked (apparently at some point every just got naked). He sits on the tub next to the toilet and starts feeding me crackers, telling me everything is going to be okay (which I have no idea what he meant by, but hey, free crackers). Then the next thing I remember is waking up in the bath tub, naked, with four loaves of sliced bread scattered about my body, as though they were a blanket.

Oh, to be 17.



hahahaha we have a winrar!

i tend to get mega wasted and just black out and find out the next day all the **** i was doing..

ones i can remember um... finished off a bottle of jager and making out with some chick on top of me, turned my head and threw up black chunks all over this persons nice white carpet.
another one the stupid part is actually while i was sober... so i was drunk hitting on this chick.. then the next day she was like "you were hitting on me and wanted to make out" and without thinking i said "but i don't even think you're attractive!?"... didn't go down well.
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