#1
Hey, this is my first time doing this, feel free to sink your teeth into my newbie flesh.
C4C.

You sit there gnawing at your flesh,
ripping the ribs from your chest,
and as I sit there, watching your cadaver face
be ripped from its rightful place, I'll wait.
For you to grow back your skin,
to hold your leaking blood within.
For you to conceal; to hide,
in your own good time,
this grotesque, unsightly vision
awoken by each incision.

Chorus:
I'm wearing bear traps as boots.
Get me my gun, get ready to shoot.
This sunset's taking to long to die,
I'll shoot the bastard out of the sky.
Rip your smile bigger, dear
the monsters inside us are all we have to fear.

Some demon pries apart my lips
and crawls out encased in spit.
I wish to swallow him into some cavity
this birth, vomited from deep in me.
But he's caught hold of my teeth
and he's staring malevolently.
Squinted, sun blind, hostile eyes
Send shivers down spines.
He's only smiling benignly
so he can slaughter you and me.

With your fatal noose necklaces, you've fashioned tension,
so I'll suck myself into this venus fly trap seduction,
distracting me from the glimmer of your sewer shimmer eyes.
I'll stew in its stomach until I'm ready to die.
#2
Quote by SweetPoison
Hey, this is my first time doing this, feel free to sink your teeth into my newbie flesh.
C4C.

You sit there gnawing at your flesh,
ripping the ribs from your chest,
and as I sit there, watching your cadaver face
be ripped from its rightful place, I'll wait.
For you to grow back your skin,
to hold your leaking blood within.
For you to conceal; to hide,
in your own good time,
this grotesque, unsightly vision
awoken by each incision.

I like it. A bit graphic and detailed, but if that's your style, go for it.

Chorus:
I'm wearing bear traps as boots.
Get me my gun, get ready to shoot.
This sunset's taking to long to die,
I'll shoot the bastard out of the sky.
Rip your smile bigger, dear
the monsters inside us are all we have to fear.

Not so much a fan of this chorus. The lines in bold however, I think are pretty good ones.

Some demon pries apart my lips
and crawls out encased in spit.
I wish to swallow him into some cavity
this birth, vomited from deep in me.
But he's caught hold of my teeth
and he's staring malevolently.
Squinted, sun blind, hostile eyes
Send shivers down spines.
He's only smiling benignly
so he can slaughter you and me.

Just like the first stanza, pretty good. Very dark might I add

With your fatal noose necklaces, you've fashioned tension,
so I'll suck myself into this venus fly trap seduction,
distracting me from the glimmer of your sewer shimmer eyes.
I'll stew in its stomach until I'm ready to die.

The last line doesn't do it for me. I like the premise and the wording of the rest, but it just doesn't flow well when spoken out loud. Maybe cut it down a bit?


Other than it being not my style at all, I actually like it. It's a bit detailed and graphic, but it goes with the writing. I don't like the chorus much although the last line is a good one - 'The monsters inside us are all we have to fear'.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

C4C - Songwriting and Lyrics

- Hung Up on You -
- Apathy Unending -