#1
This is a rough idea of how I want the song to sound, I'm a bit tired, so I made mistakes, and I dont think my transistions are the best. But I wanted it to be a impactful song, to have some meaning, so I used some abstract metal chords to try and give it a more open feel. It strikes me as powerful, I think I might be able to write some lyrics to this song.

But what do ya'll think I could add? What riffs didnt work? Just looking for overall feedback also.

Also, how did the main riff make you feel? Also, how did the entire song make you feel?

Linky here: http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/ethan_hanus/music/all/play719128

Thanks for any feedback-Ethan

EDIT: Heres the rewritten version, hope yall like it.
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/ethan_hanus/music/all/play720164
Last edited by ethan_hanus at Oct 19, 2009,
#2
the intro reminded me of a log cabin. and it put me in a deep mood. realy thoughtfull kind of thing. i liked the chords. it sounds cool when the distortion kicks in. nice rythem. and the tone sounds good. i think lyrics would be great. i love how it swiches to the distorted then the log cabin type parts. well done. this put me in a deep mood. and i dont wana go to work in the morning now. well done mate. just add lyrics.

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22008205#post22008205
#5
The beginning sound really cool, a few unsteady moments but all in all very nice, very Nirvana stylish.

The chords came to me as a surprise maybe you should make a transition from the intro to the chords (like you did when you went from chords back to the main riff), make the intro fade into the rest.

I love the intro sound though, very nice. The s0ng has potential, if I were you, I would make the song evolve more around the clean riff you have.

Make a few changes, once you play it properly it will sound great!

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22010673#post22010673
#6
I rewrote the song so it would transistion better, and I structured it better so it didnt sound so much like an improv. The ending riff I came up with sounds oddly familar to me, but idk. I mixed it on my new AWIA DSP 130 watt steroe that I just hooked up to my computer.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/ethan_hanus/music/all/play720164
#7
The riffs are pretty cool, very dark. Its very repetitive tho even if it had vocals on it you probably want to change it up more, add an intro possibly, make variations to the riff. Not great guitar tone but something to work with.


(also im assuming you know coming doesnt have an E in it right?)
Last edited by lucertia. at Oct 19, 2009,
#8
Yeah, its just the rythem part right now, I wanted it repetitive so its more impactful, cause I'm trying to write lyrics for it and write a lead guitar to it. The tone is because of my crappy mic, but I'm working on it.

I actually did spell it wrong, prolly need to fix that.
#9
sounding pretty hot dude, just needs a little less treble in my opinion
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--The GEAR--
Horizon Devices - Precision Drive
AMT D2 Preamp
Boss TU-2
Boss- CS 2
BBE- Green SCREAMER
ESP,LTD MH- 250 NT ,
fitted with SEYMORE DUNCAN NAZGUL AND SENTIENT
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#10
Like the feel you've got going with this, very dark, and in a weird way kinda epic.

Would definitely sound good with some drums, if i were you i would definitely look into downloading EzDrummer or something of the likes.

Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1218411

P.S. Im a big fan of Drop B also :p
Last edited by Shustermeister at Oct 20, 2009,
#11
First of all, thanks for the comments

listening to rewritten one, I'd try recording the song a little differently, double tracking always helps, panning one guitar left and one right, the gains a little fizzy. But i can see what kind of music this is going into, it gets a little repetative after 8 minutes of the same sort of stuff though.

Maybe like after the first 2 or 3 minutes, go into a little bit of a tempo change, and a bit faster. I'd play to a click aswell, always helps, i can hear some speeding up and down in parts

But yeah, kewl stuffs :3
#12
criting as i listen

the intro is pretty cool the transition to the heavier distortion could be better but its not horrible and the riff after is pretty rad...
i like how you changed up the clean bit when you went back to it after the distortion part..
this would all sound awesome with drums

so my final thoughts are get a drum program lol and keep up the awesome work maybe join a band too oh and thanks for the crit on my song lol