frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#1
I'm fairly happy with each part of this song, i'm just not 100% sure how it goes together...
I think its mostly Posthardcore, it has definite metalcore elements and lots of harmonies. I've got a feeling the chorus is tooo happy in comparison to the rest of the song though... or maybe even just too happy for the world
Also play the gp files in midi because my pc was making it all go mout of sync with rse so i used midi instead
anyway C4C guys
Attachments:
PH harmony.zip
psyo
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2009
345 IQ
#2
dude i loved it!
id reconsider the breakdown at bar 88 and maybe some of the pauses between sections
its a really cool song
mtgold83
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2009
1,042 IQ
#3
seems more metal core than phc.. not bad tho
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#4
i'm never good at genre placing but personally i felt the intro, break, breakdown, lead parts and chorus were posthardcore and the other parts were metalcore basically
Carl6661
UG Freak
Join date: Oct 2007
2,096 IQ
#5
- Instrumental intro;
Sounded really good to me, nice way to kick off. The odd time signature worked and flowed really well.

- Verse intro/Verse;
Pretty standard metalcore, nothing musically wrong though. The same goes for the verse. It's fine, and works with the song. It's just maybe a little generic.

- Instrumental Bridge;
The lead part was a nice little addition to that verse riff and the harmony that came in worked well too. I'd definantly say this is more Metalcore than PHC at this point. Don't worry too much about what genre this technically is or isn't though.

- Preverse/Verse 2;
Pretty standard 'core breakdown. Sounded fine though, again, just a little generic. The part that came in at 33 definantly spiced it up alot for me though.

- Chorus;
Definantly a lot more PHC than the rest. I would agree that it seems to cheery with the rest of the song. Maybe save it for another song, and write another chorus for this song. It's good, but it dosen't really work in this song.

- Break at 75;
Worked well, nothing wrong there.

- Breakdown;
I really liked this. I like how it's not just palm muted open strings like a lot of breakdowns are. The strings were a nice addition to. 92 was a really cool variation of that original breakdown riff aswell.

- Clean chorusChorus;
Led on suprisingly well from the breakdown. Which is suprising seeing how I thought the chorus didn't work in this song earlier. It even led into the normal chorus quite well. Maybe this could be used as some kind of outro?

- Outro;
Okay, forget that. You did use it as an outro, as well as a chorus, haha.

Overall, 8/10. I like it, a little generic, and that chorus (Except the clean one and the last repeat) dosen't seem to work well in this song for me.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#6
thanks for the detailed crit carl, and i have to say i agree with all your points tbh. i knew this song was flawed but i couldnt pinpoint where and youve done that for me nicely
herby190
Banned
Join date: Mar 2008
7,674 IQ
#7
As I listen:

Instrumental intro: I like the arpeggios it starts off with, and the added melody is really cool. The quieter melody in the background really adds depth too.

Verse intro: Strong, and sound great.

Verse: This would have to be lyric based, but it's okay.

Instrumental Bridge: Not bad; leads into pre-verse well.

Pre-Verse: Nice lead melody.

Verse: So-so.

Instrumental Bridge: Kind of cool.

Chorus: I really like this; it's a nice change from the rest of the song, and sounds good.

Pre-verse: Nothing new, but not overly repetitive.

Verse 3: Okay.

Instrumental Bridge: Still sounds good.

Chorus: I still really like this.

Break: This was really well-placed; well done.

Breakdown: I see what you were going for, and it's a great idea. It starts off well, but as it progresses, it isn't really the best.

Chorus (clean): Really cool.

Final Chorus: Incredibly epic way to end it.

Outro: Okay, but I think it should have stayed with something heavier.

Overall, you've got a great piece here; it could use a little bit of rewriting here and there, but still, 8.5/10.

C4C? The link is in my sig.
21Fretter
Tab Contributor
Join date: Jul 2007
414 IQ
#8
The Verse intro riff is solid but i didn't like the verse for some reason, it could be the drumming.

The Instrumental Bridge part was very cool.

I think bar 28 can be changed to 4/4 and have that little end lick right after the other parts of the bar (aka don't have that big break).

I liked that "lead" at bar 33.

I think you were right about the chorus not fitting a bit. You could leave it there but i think you could come up with something that fits a lot better.

Verse 3 is nice but i didn't like that stop at bar 61.

I agree with some of the other posters, the breakdown is pretty meh :\

I didn't like from Chorus (clean) until the end but that's because i don't feel the chorus fits that nicely.

I might not be liking the chorus because my mind is set that this is very metalcore so maybe I'm not the best person to listen to regarding the chorus parts :P