C4C or whatever

umm nothing special here but first one ive completed in a while. its kind of about a girl i met and im kinda getting back into looking for a special gf so this was influenced by my meeting this girl. the real deal is still too premature to seriously cross in with how this poem turned out but ya this is in my mind and its influenced in large part by her and teh way i tend to look at some things.

originally i was just going to make a fun little piece to kinda make her giggle and try to turn it into a death metal song (wouldnt be exactly like this.. i know strange topic for that kinda music but would be more humorous/fun/dark) cuz i dont think it would scare her away but ill have to sort of slim this down and make a smaller quicker version to do that. if i get it done ill post that too.

also i couldnt come to terms with a title i liked. but i kind of wanted it to show how from a guys view this girl goes from something generic causing sexual desires to a meeting much more rare and special.

the girl in pink has the soul i see

presence felt amongst the pack
yet alone in the corner
cutting with a razor
does the blood make her warmer

alone within her walls
clad in pink
she looks real cute
i wonder if she'd take it in the stink

my warped mind shifts
i want to know more
i lust to know the kinks
but her aura isnt that of a wh0r*

sulking in barriers built around her ground
her heart emits the will of a mistress
possesing a lock with a key thrown into the dark
she turns slowly to scour the mist across the abyss

im radiant at face
but sulking in the dark
behind my code breaker night vision eyes
where others have failed by trying a spark

she is a soul
no physics to despise
no sparks
only eyes

i posses a key
destined from the start
with one chance to find the lock
which opens the music box of a heart

on my ground i stand at the cliff of our abyss
unknown to this world and deeper than any
like parallel universes, the stars align
our meshing minds settling to a harmony

the barriers of her soul built like a steel girder
to lay them down could make for the perfect bridge
if only i could tighten my nuts and bolts
we could cross the abyss together and climb the highest ridge
Last edited by theWallofYAWN at Oct 18, 2009,
Thats not bad at all. No bits really blew me away but it somewhat amused me with the 'I wonder if she'd take it in the stink' line xD
Must say im really not keen on the first stanza/verse, simply because i hate anything to do with either razor blades or people cutting themselves.